Asa. Jay Crownover

formed list of people I never wanted to disappoint. He had given me a shot when everyone else in the world seemed like they were just waiting for me to fuck everything up. I owed him a lot, but it had never occurred to me that somewhere along the line that had morphed into him relying on me and respecting me as well. It was kind of a foreign concept to me and I wasn’t sure what to do with it.

      “One of these days you’re going to let me finish what I’m always trying to start with you, Asa.”

      Royal’s voice was low and there was a needy thread in it that twisted and twined around my heart. That couldn’t happen. I couldn’t let her get to me; that would be bad news for both of us. It was time to stop pretending and let her see my true colors.

      I leered at her and told her flatly, “Any guy that gets your hands around his dick is gonna finish, Red.” It was crude and unnecessary, but it made her be quiet for the rest of the ride to the hospital and I spent that time convincing myself it was for the best …

      … Wasn’t it?

       CHAPTER 4

       Royal

      My adrenaline was crashing. Partly from the lack of sleep and the excessive workout in the gym, but mostly from being burned alive from the inside out by Asa. I knew that once he let me get close enough to touch, I wasn’t going to be able to stop. There was just something about him, some kind of lure that pulled at me when I was around him that was too hard to fight against.

      I wasn’t exactly shy, but I also wasn’t the type to just stick my hand in a guy’s pants and go for the gold either. Asa pushed me against all of my boundaries, made me forget that there were consequences to my actions, and I loved every single thing about it. I loved that when I was close enough to breathe him in, he was all I could feel, and I loved the way his glimmering amber eyes seemed to see everything I was trying so hard to hide. They were hot enough to melt the hardest metal and I was far from being forged out of steel and iron at the moment. I felt like I was made of paper and fluff.

      I had every intention of just dropping him off at the hospital and going home to try and pretend to sleep. The ride to the hospital passed in absolute silence and I could see the way the muscles in his chiseled jaw were clenching and unclenching as we got closer. I wasn’t sure if it had to do with me or with the impending new addition, but it was clear he was lost in his own head and I wasn’t allowed inside. Whatever he was musing on it wasn’t making him too happy. I could tell even in the dark of the car as his eyes shifted from their normally burnished gold color to a much darker and heavier brown.

      I pulled to a stop in front of the massive medical building and waited for him to climb out. I wasn’t going to say anything, figuring I had gotten myself into enough trouble for one night, but he cocked his head to the side and turned in his seat a little to look at me questioningly.

      “Aren’t you coming in?”

      My hands curled around the steering wheel involuntarily and I blinked at him in confusion.

      “Why would I?”

      I was tight with Saint and I really liked Nash, he was pretty much the nicest guy ever, but I hardly knew Shaw, and Rome’s wife, Cora, kind of scared the crap out of me. I got along fine with Salem, her no-bullshit attitude was awesome, and I liked that she always spoke her mind. Plus, when her sister had been abducted, I was the first person she turned to and that created a lasting bond between the two of us. But I was pretty sure Ayden was going to show up in no time flat, and I really didn’t want to be around when she did. Yes, she had apologized for losing her shit and being a stone-cold bitch to me when she found out I was the one that had arrested Asa, and I believe she meant it, but I had no plans on hanging out and making a happy situation awkward. I hadn’t seen Ayden since the day she bailed Asa out of jail, and I was in no hurry to have a reunion. Especially if I couldn’t manage to keep the way I felt about her troublesome brother on lockdown.

      I knew instinctively she wouldn’t approve.

      “Why wouldn’t you?” His drawl was so smooth, so velvet soft, as it wrapped around me. I just wanted him to whisper things to me in the dark forever.

      “I’m friends with Saint and I adore Nash, but this is a big deal, something you share with family. I’m not part of that.”

      He just stared at me and then grunted. “Go park. We’re going up together.”

      I shook my head. “No, we’re not.”

      I watched as the fire lit back up in his eyes and they switched back to their intoxicating whiskey color. “Fine.” He settled back in the seat, crossed his arms over his chest, and lifted a sandy-blond eyebrow at me. “If you don’t have to go up, then neither do I. You can drop me off back at the Bar.”

      I gasped at him a little and narrowed my eyes at him. “Rome asked you to come. You should be inside right now, not arguing with me. You’re wanted up there.”

      His mouth kicked up on the side, and I saw just how easy it was for him to charm people out of common sense. He was pretty day in and day out, but that grin had the devil and temptation in it, and it turned him into something otherworldly. No mere human looked that good after a full day of work and a bout of unfulfilled groping and fondling. It was obvious the path to every decadent sin led right through Asa Cross, and man oh man, did I want to race down it. I would never understand why he insisted on putting so many roadblocks in my way.

      “Saint got in touch with you, so obviously someone wants you here. She’s shy and there is a lot of commotion to handle when this group gets excited about something. You ever stop and think maybe she needs you as her buffer?”

      I cringed because I did know that. Saint loved Nash’s friends, was deeply immersed in their world and definitely accepted as part of the ramshackle family, but it was easy for her to get lost in the sea of strong, dominant personalities and she did like having me around to be her port in the storm. Only instead of wanting to be there for my friend, I wanted to run because I didn’t know if I could stand any more judgment coming my way. I had only been doing my job. I hadn’t wanted to be the one to put Asa in cuffs and take him in, but it had to be done and I unfortunately had to be the one to do it. I respected all of those ladies so much; seeing disappointment in their eyes when they looked at me might very well be the thing that tipped me over the edge of the cliff I was precariously holding on to at the moment.

      I sighed because I could see that Asa was serious in his threat. Calling him every bad name in my head that I could think of, I wheeled the 4Runner into a parking spot and turned the engine off.

      “You’re a manipulative jerk, you know that?”

      He finally threw the door open and climbed out. The blast of winter air almost knocked me over and I remembered belatedly that all I had on was my gym clothes.

      He walked around the front of the car and stopped when he reached my door. Without a word he pulled it open and put a hand on my arm and practically dragged me out. He shook his head when he saw how I was shivering, and took his big, heavy coat off and put it around my shoulders. It smelled like him and I wanted to cuddle into it and rub my face in the leather, but I was too busy glaring at him as he told me, “Now you’re catching on, Red.”

      All he had on was a long-sleeved thermal, so I tried to hand the coat back to him, but he just grunted and put a hand on my lower back and guided me to the front doors. I blew out a breath that fogged up the air in front of us and told him quietly, “Your sister hates me. She’s gonna lose her mind when she shows up and sees me here with everyone.”

      He chuckled and the sound sent chills racing all across my skin.

      “Ayden is protective … of her friends, of her man, of me. She sometimes goes off before she thinks things all the way through. She doesn’t hate you. She hates that I’ve lived the kind of life that I have. In fact