Her Mother's Shadow. Diane Chamberlain

had wanted her to do it, to be Mackenzie’s mother. She’d been adamant about it, the lawyer had said. She knew the other options open to her and she’d chosen her. Lacey thought of the little trinkets she’d wrapped the previous day to send to her friend. The gel pens and jigsaw puzzles suddenly seemed as insignificant as a grain of sand on the beach, silly gifts for a woman who would trust her with the life of her daughter. She had the ability to give Jessica a far greater gift—her life, her dreams for the future, her freedom.

      “I’ll do it,” she said. “I’ll bring Mackenzie home with me.”

       12

      ONE OF JESSICA’S FRIENDS, A VERY YOUNG-LOOKING woman named Amelia, met Lacey in the baggage area of the Phoenix airport. She was holding a sign that read “Lacey” in huge red block letters. Once Lacey introduced herself, Amelia hugged her tightly, and Lacey let herself remain in the embrace for a long time, breathing in the scent of the woman’s dark hair, knowing she was finally connected to someone who felt her loss as deeply as she did.

      “I’m so glad to meet you,” Amelia said as she let go of her. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Her voice was sweet and high-pitched. She looked about twenty-two and sounded fifteen. Her nearly black hair was long and swung free around her shoulders, and freckles were spattered across the bridge of her nose.

      Lacey had to rack her brain to remember if she’d ever heard Jessica talk about this particular friend. She supposed she had. Jessica had been one to say “my friend this” and “my friend that,” rather than speak of them by name.

      “Same here,” she said. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have met under better circumstances, though.” The trite words slipped out of her mouth and she was relieved at having found them without a struggle.

      The day before, she had finally been able to reach someone at the number she had for Nola, and although Nola was purportedly “still sleeping,” the woman on the phone told her she would be picked up at the airport and she would have a place to stay. The woman had sounded frazzled, as though she was trying to organize too many things at once and Lacey was just one more ball for her to juggle.

      “I could get a hotel,” Lacey had told her.

      “No, no,” the woman said. “We’ve got it all worked out.”

      “You’re going to stay with me,” Amelia told her now as she started rolling Lacey’s suitcase toward the exit.

      “Thank you,” Lacey said. “That’s great.”

      Amelia didn’t say another word until they were in her car in the parking lot. It was a convertible, but the top was up and the air-conditioning on, and Lacey was glad of that because the temperature had to be at least a hundred degrees.

      “I’ve never been to North Carolina,” Amelia said. “How’s the weather there now?”

      “Just really starting to heat up,” Lacey said. She knew they were about to get into a conversation about the difference between Arizona heat and North Carolina heat. Jessica used to talk about it all the time. “It’s 115 degrees here today,” Jessica would tell her over the phone, “but it’s a dry heat. Not like the Outer Banks.” Sure enough, Amelia started down the same path, and Lacey played along. Why did every conversation between strangers always begin with the weather?

      “How did you know Jessica?” Lacey asked when they’d exhausted the topic of the heat.

      “We worked together,” Amelia said, then shook her head. “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to go back to work without her. She made it bearable.”

      Lacey knew that Jessica had worked in an office doing something with computers, but she’d never understood precisely what.

      After quite a long drive, Amelia turned into the parking lot of a large complex of cute and well-maintained Spanish-style condominiums. “You can stay with me just as long as you need to,” she said, swinging the car wide to pull into a marked parking space.

      “I’m expecting to be here three or four days,” Lacey said. “Are you sure that’s not too much of an imposition?”

      “Actually, I don’t think three or four days will be long enough,” Amelia said.

      “No?”

      “You might be underestimating the time it’s going to take to get Mackenzie ready for the trip back with you.”

      They got out of the car, and Lacey pulled her suitcase from the trunk.

      “How is she doing?” she asked as they walked toward the building.

      “Terrible,” Amelia said. “You can imagine what it’s been like for her. She only had her mother. She’s lost her world.”

      Lacey thought back to her own mother’s death. “Is she able to sleep?” she asked. “Is she having nightmares?”

      “I don’t know.” Without asking, Amelia took the suitcase from Lacey and began lugging it up the stairs to the second story of condominiums. Lacey didn’t protest. It was too damn hot. “She’s staying with Mary,” Amelia said, “another friend of Jessica’s who has a daughter Mackenzie’s age. Mary could tell you how she’s doing. All I’ve heard is that she’s gotten very quiet and has lost about five pounds in the past two days.”

      Lacey could barely picture Mackenzie. She’d been a skinny kid the last time she saw her. If she’d lost five pounds back then, she would have been skeletal.

      Amelia stopped at one of the second-story doors. She slipped her key into the lock and pushed the door open, and Lacey felt the welcome rush of cool air hit her face.

      The condominium was small and neat and tastefully decorated with furniture and accessories that looked as though they’d come from Pier One.

      “Your place is so cute,” Lacey said, touching the arm of the squat gold sofa. “And it’s so nice of you to put me up.”

      Amelia rolled the suitcase into the guest bedroom, which was filled with white wicker furniture. “Not a problem,” she said. “Why don’t you get unpacked and then come into the kitchen and have a glass of iced tea or something.”

      “Okay.” What Lacey really wanted was a shower. She felt grimy from the flight and the heat.

      “Mary—the woman Mackenzie’s staying with—and another friend are coming over in a little while,” Amelia said. “We’re going to try to plan the memorial service tonight. I hope that’s okay with you. We thought you’d probably want to be in on the planning.”

      “Sure.” Lacey nodded, although she had not even thought of that. “Will Nola be here, too?”

      Amelia opened the closet door and pulled some empty hangers from among the items of clothing. “I don’t think Nola’s up to it,” she said, her back to Lacey. She turned, handed her the empty hangers, and sat down on the edge of the bed. “The truth is, Nola’s really upset about you being named guardian,” she said. “And we’re all … well, we’re a little confused about it. Not that you wouldn’t be the right person to do it,” she added quickly. “It’s just that …” She looked at the wall instead of Lacey. “Well, we didn’t think you’ve had any special connection to Mackenzie.”

      “Who is ‘we’?” Lacey hoisted the suitcase onto the bed and started to unzip it.

      “All Jessie’s friends,” Amelia said. “And, of course, Nola. Nola has seen Mackenzie at least once a year, and well, I don’t have kids, but Jessica has lots of friends who do and who would take Mackenzie in a heartbeat. And who are married, so Mackenzie would have two parents raising her.” Amelia lifted her hands in a helpless gesture, then dropped them to her lap. She had tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know this is coming out all wrong. I don’t seem to have the energy right now to make it come out right.”

      “Are