Cast Member Confidential:. Chris Mitchell

an honor.” He looked up at all the smiling faces in the crowd, and there was something like relief in his eyes. Then he saw me, and the color drained out of his face. “Uh, thanks,” he said quickly and bolted in the other direction.

      “Ladies and gentlemen,” Brady announced. “Nick Elliot! In honor of our new ’mo, I have party favors for the first five people who can finish this sentence: ‘Bright covered packages tied up with string…’” A dozen people rushed him.

      I pushed through the crowd and eventually found Nick in one of the bedrooms. He was sitting in a corner texting on his Sidekick.

      “Hey.”

      “Oh hey,” he said, pretending to see me for the first time. “I saw your Myspace post about moving to Orlando. I didn’t know when you were coming or I would’ve…” He closed his Sidekick, opened it, closed it again. “I didn’t recognize you with your Disney Look. Nice haircut, by the way. You look like a constipated CNN stock analyst.”

      “Thanks.”

      “When I need my taxes done, I know where to turn.”

      “Very clever.”

      “Don’t worry, Mr. Parker, I’ll have Debby home by midnight.”

      “Are you finished?” I allowed him a couple more zingy one-liners before I cut him off. “How’s it going?”

      “What? You mean the outing thing? That’s bullshit, bro. I just let him say all that stuff so we could get on with the party.” Nick wiped his nose on a rainbow wristband. “I’m not gay, you know.”

      “I know,” I said.

      “Not that I have a problem with it. I mean most of the guys here are, and they like totally hook me up with their girlfriends, so I get pussy like all the effing time!”

      “That must be fun.”

      “It is, bro. Believe me.” Nick gulped his drink. “Besides, it doesn’t even matter. I’m leaving in three weeks anyway. There’s this new Cirque show opening in Vegas and they want rollerbladers.”

      “Vegas? What happened to life everlasting in Disney World?”

      “Oh yeah,” Nick snorted. “Well, Cirque pays better. Hey, what are you doing here anyway?”

      I didn’t feel like rehashing the events of the last few months, so I summarized. “I just needed a change of scenery, you know? LA was getting stale.”

      A group of Cast Members ran past us giggling. As they disappeared into the bathroom, a cute brunette grabbed Nick’s hand. “Come with me,” she said to him. “I want you to try something.”

      “Cool.” When she turned around, Nick mimed an “O” face for my benefit. “Just so you know, dude, you’re only seeing Alice’s antechamber here. This rabbit hole goes all the way down.”

      “How deep?”

      He let the brunette pull him to his feet and smiled at me. “You’re staying in Orlando for a while, right?”

      I shrugged. “Sure.”

      He put his hand on my shoulder. “Even candy apples can be rotten, but you have to take a bite to know for sure.”