Free At Last. Ron Rockey

      

      Free At Last!

      The Past May Look Dismal

      But The Future Is Bright!

      Nancy A. Rockey, Ph.D. & Ron Rockey, Ph.D.

      Free At Last!

      by Nancy A. Rockey, Ph.D. & Ron Rockey, Ph.D.

      Copyright 2013 Ron Rockey

      All rights reserved

      Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com

       http://www.eBookIt.com

      ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-1749-3

      No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

      Acknowledgments

      There have been so many people—family, friends, colleagues and clients alike—who have contributed to this book in various ways.

      Our family has endured long silences as we dedicated ourselves to researching, writing and re-writing the contents of this book. Colleagues have given their opinions and, more importantly, their support and encouragement for the project. Clients have even sacrificed appointments so that we could persevere in its writing in order to meet our deadlines. Our friends have listened and read, asked for clarity, supported our efforts with "around the house" assistance, and also prayed for the completion of this project and the benefit to those who read and apply to themselves the information contained herein.

      Priscilla S. Perry, our longtime friend and colleague, has spent hours editing, placing and replacing commas, and suggesting sentence re-writes. Her dear husband, Don, has no doubt had to wait for meals and miss out on conversation time with his wife. You two have been a constant blessing during this project, and precious friends for so many years—1960, wasn't it?

      And to those whose stories we have told, many of whom will recognize the story but not the name given to the character— we are grateful! Your paths to wholeness provide the interesting examples of what can occur in life when people are given the right information, a safe place for learning and change, and the power of the Holy Spirit.

      Dedication

      This book is whole-heartedly dedicated

      to all who ever felt imprisoned by rejection,

      whether it was in a fleeting moment

      or every day of your lives.

      Our prayer is that this study will allow

      you to look within yourself in an

      in-depth manner and do the work of

      recovery, so that you can be

      Free At Last!

      And to every person whose tender

      heart prompts them to

      walk alongside.

      "A human being is a part of a whole . . . (but)

      he experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings

      as something separated from the rest . . .

      This delusion is a kind of prison for us,

      restricting us to our personal desires and

      to affection for a few persons nearest to us.

      Our task must be to free ourselves from

      this prison by widening our circle of

      compassion to embrace all living creatures

      and the whole of nature in its beauty."

      Albert Einstein

      Preface

      Many of us have wondered why we find ourselves in such a mess, why we do the things we do, why our thoughts run amuck, why we are judgmental and critical of others, why it's easy to put others down and lift ourselves up. Sometimes we even chatter to ourselves asking, "How could I be so stupid? What in the world was I thinking?" Or we pat ourselves on the back, considering that the thoughts running through our heads are clever paybacks to someone we believe has "done it to us."

      Where do these thoughts come from anyway? Is there a reason for them? And what about our behaviors? Do you ever find yourself blowing up at someone and then, later, unable to fathom why you've done it? Do you have some addictive behavior or persistent thoughts that you just can't shake, and wonder why the tug is so powerful? Do you struggle with thinking that you have value or worth, and can quickly manufacture a list of what's wrong with you? Do you cover up the negative way you think of yourself with an air of sophistication—"I've got it all together"—or arrogance, repeated laughter at almost every sentence you utter, or anger that's out of control? Do you long for a close relationship or two, but the minute someone accepts and seems to love you, you push them away?

      There are answers; there are reasons for your feelings, thoughts and behaviors. People don't just wake up one morning and "out of the blue" decide that this is the day they will rob a bank or take someone's life or throw a temper tantrum. There is always a beginning, always a set-up, and in most cases the set-up started years before the thoughts and actions began. Mind you, there is never an excuse, because an excuse is simply a cover-up. But there is ALWAYS a reason, and a reason is a set-up. So what is it that sets a person up to be offensive? Could it be some life experience(s)? Many are trapped in the prison houses of their minds, while others wind up behind brick walls because they were caught.

      Are the stories of our histories just excuses, cover-ups, for evil people with evil motives to do as they please?

      Introduction

      The question is asked, "Where do our thoughts and feelings and behaviors come from?" How is it that we find ourselves in situations that just should not have occurred? Is it possible to change the way we feel, our thinking patterns and even the behaviors that sever us from relationships that we had cherished and even needed? Is it helpful to blame others for the way we are, or is it better to bury our heads in the sand, so to speak, and pretend that we are OK, and it's the world that's all wrong?

      Regardless of where you might find yourself in life, please know that there has always been a set-up; there has always been some previous experience(s) that set you on a path to where you are, positive or negative. Understanding the cause of your feelings, thoughts and behaviors, and being willing to work through those negative experiences, can give you the power and permission to remove the negative emotions from your memories, thus eliminating the negative results in your life. It can provide you with gratitude toward those who contributed to your successes and the wisdom to recognize that all of your experiences have made you who you are.

      If you find yourself on a negative pathway with your relationships crumbling, addictions controlling you, angry or tearful outbursts occurring at the drop of a hat, the inability to hold onto a career or job, being repeatedly in trouble with the law or incarcerated, your physical health diminishing, living with a "poor me" or negative mindset, and blaming everyone else and everything else for your predicaments, this book is for you.

      Perhaps you are a parent, a close relative, a pastor, or someone just trying to help someone whose life is going in the wrong direction to turn around. You might find yourself in the position where you just don't know what to do, and because you are a religious person you think that convincing that person to read the Bible, follow God, pray, or subscribe to a certain religion will do the trick. Inevitably, you will be disappointed with the outcome.

      You see, the truth is that God is ALWAYS the power for positive change and