SNAP!. Gary Small

      

      SNAP!

      Change Your Personality in 30 Days

      Gary Small, MD, and Gigi Vorgan

       www.humanixbooks.com

      Humanix Books

      SNAP!: Change Your Personality in 30 Days

      Copyright © 2018 by Humanix Books

      All rights reserved

      Humanix Books, P.O. Box 20989, West Palm Beach, FL 33416, USA

      www.humanixbooks.com | [email protected]

      Library of Congress Catalog-in-Publication data is available upon request.

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      Humanix Books is a division of Humanix Publishing, LLC. Its trademark, consisting of the word “Humanix,” is registered in the Patent and Trademark Office and in other countries.

      Disclaimer: The information presented in this book is not specific medical advice for any individual and should not substitute medical advice from a health professional. If you have (or think you may have) a medical problem, speak to your doctor or a health professional immediately about your risk and possible treatments. Do not engage in any care of treatment without consulting a medical professional.

      ISBN: 978-1-63006-091-6 (Hard Cover)

      ISBN: 978-1-63006-092-3 (E-book)

      Contents

       Acknowledgments

       Preface

      Chapter 1: Personality Can Change

      Chapter 2: Four Phases of Change

      Chapter 3: Assess Yourself and Define Your Goals

       Chapter 4: Extraversion 101

       Chapter 5: Becoming More Conscientious

       Chapter 6: Learning to Agree

       Chapter 7: Taming Your Neurosis

       Chapter 8: Opening Up to New Experiences

       Chapter 9: Fast-Tracking Your Change with Therapy

       Chapter 10: 30 Days to a Better You

       Bibliography

       Index

       Acknowledgments

      WE ARE GRATEFUL TO the many volunteers and patients who participated in the research studies that inspired this book as well as the talented investigators who performed the studies. Thank you to our colleagues, friends, and family members who provided their guidance and input, including Howard Chang, Stuart and Valerie Grant, Rachel Small, and Harrison Small. Special thanks to our longtime agent and good friend, Sandra Dijkstra, as well as Mary Glenn at Humanix Books and Chris Ruddy at Newsmax Media.

      Gary Small, MD, and Gigi Vorgan

      Note: Many stories and examples contained in this book are composite accounts based on the experiences of several individuals and do not represent any one person or group of people. Similarities to any one person or persons are coincidental and unintentional. Readers may wish to talk with their doctor before starting any exercise or diet program.

       Preface

      THINK OF A PERSON you admire. How would you describe her personality? Is she outgoing, warm, or conscientious? Do you think of her as funny, confident, or generous? Perhaps you wish you were more like her in some ways.

      Consider someone you don’t care for. What is it about his personality that bugs you? Is he anxious, short-tempered, or unreliable? You probably don’t try to emulate that person.

      Now describe your own personality. Are you extroverted and popular? Would you say you are efficient and organized? High strung or moody? Are there any qualities about yourself you would change if you could? If your answer is yes, you are not alone. Research shows that the vast majority of people do want to alter certain aspects of their personality, and not just a little bit. Most desire profound personal improvements but don’t even know that change is possible.

      Personality defines who we are as individuals. It is a sum of the relatively stable traits that make up our unique character and is driven by our distinctive patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Each of us has a personality fingerprint that reflects who we are—our inner temperament that drives how we act and react in the world.

      Experts in psychiatry and psychology have long believed that our personalities are essentially set from early childhood and remain consistent throughout life. However, the latest scientific evidence contradicts this long-held assumption. New compelling evidence indicates that we can change our personalities (either on our own, with the help of a therapist, or a combination of the two) and meaningful personality change can be achieved in a snap—as little as 30 days. These groundbreaking findings have shattered the false belief that we are locked into our negative personality traits, no matter how much they hinder our potential happiness and success.

      As you read SNAP!, you will gain a better understanding of who you are now, how others see you, and which aspects of yourself you’d like to change. You will acquire the tools you need to change your personality in just one month—it won’t take years of psychotherapy, self-exploration, or rehashing every single bad thing that’s ever happened to you. If you are committed to change, this book will provide a road map to achieving your goals and becoming a better you.

      Gary Small, MD

      Gigi Vorgan

      Los Angeles, CA

       Chapter 1

       Personality Can Change

      People always ask me, “Were you funny as a child?” Well, no, I was an accountant.

      —Ellen DeGeneres

      EMMA FINALLY MADE IT to the front of the line at the bar and ordered a white wine. She had to yell because the band was playing too loud. She hated weddings, especially when she had to come alone. At 35, her parents and friends were starting to give up on her ever getting married. They accused her of being too choosy, but Emma knew that it was really just her shyness that always got in the way of making romantic connections.

      She took a seat at table 12, her designated torture chair for the evening, and began calculating just how early she could make an escape. A couple of giggly women sat down and introduced themselves, but Emma couldn’t hear them over the band’s rendition of “New York, New York.”

      After the toasts and before the salad, an attractive man from the next table came over and sat next to Emma. He said hello and asked her to