Giving Thanks. M. J. Ryan

      GIVING THANKS

      The Gifts of Gratitude

      M. J. RYAN

      First published in 2007 by Conari Press,

       an imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

       With offices at:

       500 Third Street, Suite 230

       San Francisco, CA 94107

       www.redwheelweiser.com

      Copyright © 1999, 2007 by Red Wheel/Weiser Books and Conari Press. All rights

       reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any

       form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording,

       or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing

       from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages. Portions of

       this book originally appeared in Attitudes of Gratitude, Conari Press, 1999,

       ISBN: 1-57324-149-6

      ISBN-10: 1-57324-317-5

      ISBN-13: 978-1-57324-317-9

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available upon request

      Cover and interior design by Maija Tollefson

       Cover photograph © Mitch Hrdlicka/Getty Images

       Interior photographs: pages 6,, 8, 16, 20, 30, 35, 66, 72, 74, 78, 86, 90, 108, 109, 110, 116, 112, and 173 © Alison Miksch/Brand X Pictures; pages 13 and 19 © Pregnancy & Babies/Photodisc; pages 38 and 102 © Daniel Talbott; pages 25, 50, 56, 63, 97, and 127 © Helen Wolkerstorfer; pages 10 and 69 © aheinzen/iStockphoto; page 170 © manley099/iStockphoto; page 52 © digital_eye/iStockphoto; page 49 © FEMWorks/iStockphoto.

      Printed in China

      MD

      10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

      CONTENTS

       INTRODUCTION 7

       PART 1 The Gifts of Gratitude 9

       PART 2 The Grace of Gratitude 53

       PART 3 The Acts of Gratitude 103

      Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.

      —Milton Erickson, M.D.

      INTRODUCTION

      If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled. If your happi-

       ness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with

       what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing

       lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

      —LAO TZU

      Do you know that happiness, the sheer joy in being alive, is within your reach?

       All you need is an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude creates happiness because it

       makes us feel full, complete; it’s the recognition that we have all we need, at least

       in this moment.

       Recent scientific research has begun to indicate that positive emotions, such

       as gratitude and love, strengthen and enhance the immune system, enabling the

       body to resist disease and recover more quickly from illness, through the release

       of endorphins into the bloodstream. Endorphins are the body’s natural painkillers.

       Among other effects, they stimulate dilation of the blood vessels, which leads to a

       relaxed heart.

       What this means is that the more we experience a sense of gratitude, we lit-

       erally bathe ourselves in good hormones and feel happier and more content with

       our lives. Like most great spiritual truths, gratitude is stunningly simple. This is

       not to say it’s necessarily easy to practice. All kinds of distractions, obfuscation,

       and negative attitudes from our upbringings may get in the way. But all you really

       have to do to receive gratitude’s gifts is make a commitment to be thankful on a

       daily basis, and the world will be suddenly transformed into a beautiful wonder-

       land in which you are invited to play.

      PART 1

      the gifts of gratitude

      Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and

       more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. . . .

       Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision

       for tomorrow.

      —Melody Beattie

      Consciously cultivating thankfulness is a journey of the soul, one that begins

       when we look around us and see the positive effects that gratitude creates.We do

       this by noticing those around us to whom gratefulness comes easily and realizing

       how much we enjoy being around these people.

       We also tap into these gifts as we think about times in the past when we felt

       particularly grateful. Remember the peacefulness and the delight that accompa-

       nied those times? As we come to understand the gifts of gratitude, we realize that

       being grateful is not something remote or foreign, but part of the natural joyful

       expression of our full humanness.

      11

      In humble moments when we can no longer gloss over the roughness of life, grat-

       itude has a way of pushing out the real soreness of feeling cheated or inadequate

       to the rugged realities of the world. Gratitude seemed to be a handy response to

       dodge the tough things for which there are no simple or comforting answers.

      — Patrick J. Malone

      Take a few minutes to reflect back on a happy moment in your life that stands out

       for you, a moment that stays with you, even if it happened ten, twenty, forty years

       ago. Experience it again—see the scene, hear the sounds that were around you,

       feel the sensations.What was it about that moment that stays with you? What was

       going on for you that allowed you to feel grateful?

       That’s the most wonderful thing about gratitude—it makes you feel full,

       bursting with delight, just to remember the gifts you have received. Thus are we

       doubly blessed—when we receive something, for the gift itself, and later, in