Prison Memoirs of an Anarchist. Berkman Alexander

the ladies advances, lorgnette in hand,44 and stares boldly at the prisoner. Suddenly she shrinks back. A man is being led past by the guards. His face is bleeding from a deep gash, his head swathed in bandages. The officers thrust him violently into a cell. He falls heavily against the bed. “Oh, don’t! For Jesus’ sake, don’t!” The shutting of the heavy door drowns his cries.

      The visitors crowd about the cell.

      “What did he do? He can’t come out now, Officer?”

      “No, ma’am. He’s safe.”

      The lady’s laugh rings clear and silvery. She steps closer to the bars, eagerly peering into the darkness. A smile of exciting security plays about her mouth.

      “What has he done, Officer?”

      “Stole some clothes, ma’am.”

      Disdainful disappointment is on the lady’s face. “Where is that man who—er—we read in the papers yesterday? You know—the newspaper artist who killed—er—that girl in such a brutal manner.”

“Oh, Jack Tarlin.45 Murderers’ Row, this way, ladies.”

      II

      The sun is slowly nearing the blue patch of sky, visible from my cell in the western wing of the jail. I stand close to the bars to catch the cheering rays. They glide across my face with tender, soft caress, and I feel something melt within me. Closer I press to the door. I long for the precious embrace to surround me, to envelop me, to pour its soft balm into my aching soul. The last rays are fading away, and something out of my heart is departing with them.… But the lengthening shadows on the gray flagstones spread quiet. Gradually the clamor ceases, the sounds die out. I hear the creaking of rusty hinges, there is the click of a lock, and all is hushed and dark.

      The silence grows gloomy, oppressive. It fills me with mysterious awe. It lives. It pulsates with slow, measured breathing, as of some monster. It rises and falls; approaches, recedes. It is Misery asleep. Now it presses heavily against my door. I hear its quickened breathing. Oh, it is the guard! Is it the death watch? His outline is lost in the semi-darkness, but I see the whites of his eyes. They stare at me, they watch and follow me. I feel their gaze upon me, as I nervously pace the floor. Unconsciously my step quickens, but I cannot escape that glint of steel. It grimaces and mocks me. It dances before me: it is here and there, all around me. Now it flits up and down; it doubles, trebles. The fearful eyes stare at me from a hundred depressions in the wall. On every side they surround me, and bar my way.

      I bury my head in the pillow. My sleep is restless and broken. Ever the terrible gaze is upon me, watching, watching, the white eyeballs turning with my every movement.

      III

      The line of prisoners files by my cell. They walk in twos, conversing in subdued tones. It is a motley crowd from the ends of the world. The native of the western part of the State, the “Pennsylvania Dutchman,” of stolid mien, passes slowly, in silence. The son of southern Italy, stocky and black-eyed, alert suspicion on his face, walks with quick, nervous step. The tall, slender Spaniard, swarthy and of classic feature, looks about him with suppressed disdain. Each, in passing, casts a furtive glance into my cell. The last in the line is a young negro, walking alone. He nods and smiles broadly at me, exposing teeth of dazzling whiteness. The guard brings up the rear. He pauses at my door, his sharp eye measuring me severely, critically.

      “You may fall in.”

      The cell is unlocked, and I join the line. The negro is at my side. He loses no time in engaging me in conversation. He is very glad, he assures me, that they have at last permitted me to “fall in.” It was a shame to deprive me of exercise for four days. Now they will “call de night-dog off. Must been afeared o’ soocide,” he explains.

His flow of speech is incessant; he seems not a whit disconcerted by my evident disinclination to talk. Would I have a cigarette? May smoke in the cell. One can buy “de weed” here, if he has “de dough”; buy anything ’cept booze. He is full of the prison gossip. That tall man there is Jack Tinford, of Homestead—sure to swing—threw dynamite at the Pinkertons.46 That little “dago” will keep Jack company—cut his wife’s throat. The “Dutchy” there is “bugs”—choked his son in sleep. Presently my talkative companion volunteers the information that he also is waiting for trial. Nothing worse than second degree murder, though. Can’t hang him, he laughs gleefully. “His” man didn’t “croak” till after the ninth day. He lightly waves aside my remark concerning the ninth-day superstition. He is convinced they won’t hang him. “Can’t do’t,” he reiterates, with a happy grin. Suddenly he changes the subject. “Wat am yo doin’ heah? Only murdah cases on dis ah gal’ry. Yuh man didn’ croak!” Evidently he expects no answer, immediately assuring me that I am “all right.” “Guess dey b’lieve it am mo’ safe foah yo. But can’t hang yo, can’t hang yo.” He grows excited over the recital of his case. Minutely he describes the details. “Dat big niggah, guess ’e t’ot I’s afeared of ’m. He know bettah now,” he chuckles. “Dis ah chile am afeared of none ov’m. Ah ain’t. ‘Gwan ’way, niggah,’ Ah says to ’m; ‘yo bettah leab mah gahl be.’ An’ dat big black niggah grab de cleaveh,—we’s in d’otel kitchen, yo see. ‘Niggah, drop dat,’ Ah hollos, an’ he come at me. Den dis ah coon pull his trusty li’lle brodeh,” he taps his pocket significantly, “an’ Ah lets de ornery niggah hab it. Plum’ in de belly, yassah, Ah does, an’ he drop his cleaveh an’ Ah pulls mah knife out, two inches, ’bout, an’ den Ah gives it half twist like, an’ shoves it in ’gen.” He illustrates the ghastly motion. “Dat bad niggah neveh botheh me ’gen, noh nobody else, Ah guess. But dey can’t hang me, no sah, dey can’t, ’cause mah man croak two weeks later. Ah’s lucky, yassah, Ah is.” His face is wreathed in a broad grin, his teeth shimmer white. Suddenly he grows serious. “Yo am strikeh? No-o-o? Not a steel-woikeh?” with utter amazement. “What yo wan’ teh shoot Frick foah?” He does not attempt to disguise his impatient incredulity, as I essay an explanation. “Afeared t’ tell. Yo am deep all right, Ahlick—dat am yuh name? But yo am right, yassah, yo am right. Doan’ tell nobody. Dey’s mos’ly crooks, dat dey am, an’ dey need watchin’ sho’. Yo jes’ membuh dat.”

      There is a peculiar movement in the marching line. I notice a prisoner leave his place. He casts an anxious glance around, and disappears in the niche of the cell door. The line continues on its march, and, as I near the man’s hiding place, I hear him whisper, “Fall back, Aleck.” Surprised at being addressed in such familiar manner, I slow down my pace. The man is at my side.

      “Say, Berk, you don’t want to be seen walking with that ‘dinge.’”

      The sound of my shortened name grates harshly on my ear. I feel the impulse to resent the mutilation. The man’s manner suggests a lack of respect, offensive to my dignity as a revolutionist.

      “Why?” I ask, turning to look at him.

      He is short and stocky. The thin lips and pointed chin of the elongated face suggest the fox. He meets my gaze with a sharp look from above his smoked-glass spectacles. His voice is husky, his tone unpleasantly confidential. It is bad for a white man to be seen with a “nigger,” he informs me. It will make feeling against me. He himself is a Pittsburgh man for the last twenty years, but he was “born and raised” in the South, in Atlanta. They have no use for “niggers” down there, he assures me. They must be taught to keep their place, and they are no good, anyway. I had better take his advice, for he is friendly disposed toward me. I must be very careful of appearances before the trial. My inexperience is quite evident, but he “knows the ropes.” I must not give “them” an opportunity to say anything against me. My behavior in jail will weigh with the judge in determining my sentence. He himself expects to “get off easy.” He knows some of the judges. Mostly good men. He ought to know: helped to elect one of them; voted three times for him at the last election. He closes the left eye, and playfully pokes me with his elbow. He hopes he’ll “get before that judge.” He will, if he is lucky, he assures me. He had always had pretty good luck. Last time he got off with three years, though he nearly killed “his” man. But it was in self-defence.