Friends. Patti Kelley Criswell

feel shy can be a challenge.

      It’s kind of like climbing up a big

      mountain. But taking it step by

      step really helps. Just remember

      that with every step you take

      and every effort you make, no

      matter how small, you’re getting

      closer to meeting some great

      girls and enjoying fun friendships.

      Saying Hello

      Here are a few tips to help make saying hi easier.

      Let your body help you

      do the talking.

      It’s hard to have a conversation with a

      girl whose head is down or whose arms

      are crossed tightly across her chest. But

      looking someone in the eye, and keep-

      ing your head up and your arms relaxed,

      tells other kids you’d like to talk to

      them. Taking a deep breath and smiling

      helps, too.

      Approach one person

      instead of a whole group.

      Act as natural as you can. You might

      also try bringing extra pens, paper,

      or gum along with you. Offering to

      share is a great way to start talking

      to someone.

      Get those first words out.

      Don’t wait until you feel totally comfort-

      able to approach someone. Just say some-

      thing simple like, “Hi. How are you?” It may

      be easier than you think to go from there.

      Remember, most people are happy when

      someone shows an interest in them and

      what they have to say.

      Practice at home in

      front of a mirror.

      Act like you’re talking to someone

      you’ve never met. It might sound silly,

      but it works! Once you’ve said the words

      out loud over and over, saying them to

      someone else won’t be as difficult.

      Ask your mom or dad

      to help you practice,

      practice, practice.

      The more you practice starting conversa-

      tions, the more natural it will feel. Try out

      conversation starters at the dinner table with

      your family. Ordering at restaurants and ask-

      ing questions of salespeople can help, too.

      After a while, it won’t seem so hard.

      Advice from Girls

      Here’s what real girls had to say about making new friends:

      “Walk up to someone who is alone, not

      with a group of friends. She will be

      glad someone is talking to her!”

      SARAH, AGE 10

      “Making friends is a lot like doing a

      jigsaw puzzle. Some people fit in a

      certain place and others don’t.

      Just don’t try to force it.”

      RYAN, AGE 14

      “I try my best to be kind, honest,

      and loyal. Then I just trust

      that friendships will happen,

      and so far they have.”

      ELIZABETH, AGE 11

      “I sit back and watch people

      for a while. If they seem nice

      from a distance, then I start

      talking to them.”

      NATALIE, AGE 9

      “I love to laugh. I try to

      meet people who have a

      good sense of humor.”

      COURTNEY, AGE 13

      “ Don’t judge people by what

      other people say about them.

      Get to know them, and then

      decide for yourself!”

      SAM, AGE 13

      “The number one thing about making

      friends is to be yourself. Don’t try to be

      someone you’re not. People won’t respect

      you if they think you’re a faker.”

      AMANDA, AGE 13

      Trying Too Hard

      When it comes to making and keeping friends, one thing that doesn’t work

      is clinging. Friendships can end fast when one girl feels overwhelmed by

      the other. In other words, don’t try too hard!

      What

      rates

      high

      on

      the

      cling-o

      -meter?

      cling-o-meter rating:

      You meet your new friend

      on Monday. On Wednesday,

      you ask her to be your best

      friend.

      When friendships are new, it’s

      important to let them grow

      naturally. Don’t rush into making

      the friendship more than it is.

      For now, just focus on getting to

      know your friend better.

      You’ve been friends for

      a few months. For four

      weeks in a row, you’ve

      spent your allowance on

      presents for your new

      friend.

      Careful. Your presents may

      make your friend feel too

      much pressure, and that

      could change an otherwise

      good friendship. Also, you

      won’t