Impostures. al-Ḥarīrī

man come, he bad leg one, and wear buruk clothes, like dat. He say, “Ho seh boh! Eh, you very kilat! Make whole family happy like bird! Dis morning you drink, hah? Yuuuuuuuuuuum seng! Eh, don’ be so yaya papaya, lah. Last time I rich, I belanjah everyone, spend everyone, hor. Good luck, had it. Cannot eat finish, ah. Own big property, big estate, always have gues’ gues’ gues’ gues’. But later wah lau eh! Eat salt, fighting, trouble, aiyoh! Evil eye ones cut cabbage head, we go pok kai, gues’ chabut, house go empty, habis, gone case, mati. Arse luck! Children eat grass, even cow die; evil eye oso feel sorry for me. Damn cham one!

      3.2“Later, life chia lat, very har’, lor. No money, no slipper, feet pain! Lapar lah, damn hungry, peng san, wot? No mo eye liner, just bag under eye only; no mo live Bukit Timah, just stay kampung only; forget last time white horse, now just walk thorns only. Si peh siong cannot tahan, can die! Need what? Need so good one be generous, friend-friend, give face. Swear by God in Heaven, my grandmalher Kai La, good family, but now no money, not even place to koon. Can help or not?”

      3.3Dat Haris bin Hammam guy say:

      Old uncle, I say to him, “So sayang, so sayang!” But wan’ test him: zai or not? So I take out gold coin, say, “Uncle, you say poem, praise coin, can meh? You can, you keep coin, promise.”

      He say “Can can,” straight away begin, recite poem he ownself compose:

      Glitter golden farflung glories

      Richly obverse secrets stories

      Partner profit welcome pleasure

      Lifeblood molten bundle treasure

      Stalwart brightness kinsmen spent

      Sovereign helpmeet rescue lent

      Pamper squander needy shouted

      Armies clamour glisten routed

      Moonface earthbound thousand buyer

      Soothing angry whispered fire

      Ransom hostage cheerful odds

      Almost power fearful God’s.

      3.4He finish poem, open hand, say, “Don’ play play only lah! You say orredy you give money lah. Give or not?”

      I give coin, say “Like dat win orredy lor. Take take, just take, take take take!”

      He take, put in mouth, say: “Heng ah!” After say kum sia, he pants roll up, wan’ leave. But I itchy backside, wan’ to hear more, spend more money no problem. So I bring other coin, say: “You wan’ badmouth dis one, take oso? This time, suan coin, can or not?”

      Chop chop kali pok he say:

      Damn its grinning golden face!

      Behold the pallor ‘neath the gold;

      Obey its orders, make God angry,

      Wish that it had never been!

      No more misers,

      Thieves, or creditors,

      No more evil eye!

      To help, it leaves.

      Can you toss it away?”

      I say, “Ho seh! Damn shiok!” He say, “You hutang number two coin, hor!” I throw coin, say, “Recite Fatihah, no lose.” He catch, put in mouth with other one. He say, “Damn heng wake up come here, good people lah!” Now turn, wan’ leave.

      3.5Haris bin Hammam say:

      I tell my ownself, “This one Bǔ Zàidé; bad leg play play only.” I say, “Come back, lah! Not say I say what ah, you talk shiok one, I think I know you lah! Stop walking here walking there bengkok!”

      He say, “You Hammam son, is it? Long long no see! God bless, give long life, have good neighbor!”

      I say: “Ya, I is al-Haris. Amakam? Life good not good?”

      He say, “Aiyoh! One day good, make money; one day bad, no money. One day wind powderful, one day no wind, until sian orredy.”

      I say, “Alamak! But why like that, play play bad leg meh? Where got? How can?”

      Now he get angry, look smelly face one, wan’ leave, say poem:

      Not like limp, but mus’ tan chiak;

      I free and easy: truth lie same same.

      You say: keng king, why so spiak?

      I say: limp fake one, not make me lame.

      Glossary

      3.1

      wit’ with

      kaki friends

      macam like

      blur blur slow to catch on

      dere there

      cock nonsense

      cry father, cry mother complain

      later then

      da man a man

      buruk ragged

      ho she boh hello

      kilat impressive

      Yuuuuuuuuuuum seng! Drink to success!

      don’ don’t

      yaya papaya standoffish

      last time once

      belanjah treat

      hor know what I mean?

      cannot eat finish I had great unending fortune

      gues’ gues’ gues’ gues’ many guests

      wah lau eh! yow!

      eat salt I suffered a bitter setback

      aiyoh alas

      cut cabbage head took advantage

      pok kai bankrupt

      chabut hurry away

      habis, gone case, mati nothing could be done

      arse bad

      oso also

      cham pitifully disastrous

      3.2

      chia lat terrible

      lapar lah starving

      peng san faint

      no mo live Bukit Timah I could no longer live in Bukit Timah (a wealthy district)

      kampung village

      forget last time white horse I forget that I was once a well-connected soldier

      si peh siong cannot tahan I really can’t take any more

      can die I’m exhausted

      friend-friend to really befriend me

      grandmalher grandmother

      koon sleep

      3.3

      so sayang that’s too bad

      wan’ I wanted to

      zai working well under pressure

      3.4

      orredy already

      like dat win orredy lor You win, fair and square

      heng