Dark Days at Saddle Creek. Shelley Peterson

It’s a simple question!”

      Hannah put her elbows on the table and looked at Bird thoughtfully. “Just sit down for a minute, will you?”

      Bird sat, her back rigid.

      “Are you having trouble with your mother again?”

      “Wow. You don’t waste time.”

      “Are you?”

      “Why do you ask?”

      “I’m getting a sense of it, that’s all. From you and Eva both.”

      “Okay. You’re right.” Bird decided not to pretend otherwise. She slumped. “I don’t know why. We can’t agree on anything, even to agree to disagree.”

      “Anything specific?”

      “Everything specific! She hates my haircut, hates my clothes, can’t imagine why I prefer my friends to the kids of her friends, and walks around the house modelling her new clothes and asking for compliments! She buys me skanky outfits and wants to teach me how to get a boy! She points out makeup tips and wants me to practise walking in heels! I’ll probably smack her!”

      Hannah listened carefully. “Is that all?”

      Bird was offended. “Isn’t that enough?’

      “Plenty. But I hear more real pain in your voice than those trivial things merit.”

      Bird decided not to react to the “trivial” comment. She sat silently. After a moment, she spoke in a low voice. “It’s happening all over again. She makes me feel … inadequate.”

      “How so? You’re talented, smart, accomplished in many ways, as well as being attractive. How can you possibly feel inadequate?” “I don’t know, I just do! After Mom met Stuart, we got along so well. I thought things had magically become perfect. I should’ve known better. I guess I just wanted it to be true.”

      “I know what you mean,” agreed Hannah. “What does Eva complain about most?”

      Bird gave Hannah’s question some serious thought. “That I’m a freak, an alien. She doesn’t use those words, but she definitely thinks I’m odd. She wants me to be just like her. She doesn’t understand how I think, or why I do the things I do. I feel like I’m in the wrong family.”

      “And what bothers you most about her?”

      “That she wishes I looked like Julia.” The words popped out of Bird’s mouth before she’d even thought them through. Still, Bird knew it was true.

      Hannah tilted her head. “You mean like Eva?”

      Bird nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “Like them both.”

      “You’re a beautiful girl, Bird. You must know that!”

      “I wish my mother thought so.”

      “I’m sure she does.” Hannah sighed. “Eva can be insensitive. She’s always been that way. She most likely has no idea what you’re feeling. You need to talk to her, Bird. She won’t figure this out on her own.”

      “I’ve tried, Aunt Hannah. Many times. But I went too far, and it only made things worse.”

      “How do you mean?”

      Bird slumped further onto the table. “I need to know, and she never tells me, and I know she wants to forget, but last week I asked her again about my father.”

      “Oh.”

      “I only asked her if I looked like him, and she went crazy! She screamed at me and I ran out the door. Is that such a bad question?”

      Hannah shook her head. “Not at all. It’s an excellent question, and you do look quite a lot like him. But Eva doesn’t want to discuss that chapter of her life. It’s her story to tell.”

      “It’s her story, but it’s my life!”

      “I’m sure she’ll tell you when she’s ready.”

      “She’ll never be ready! I keep asking her! All I know is that he rode in the rodeo.” Bird reached across the table and grabbed her aunt’s arm. “You can tell me, can’t you?”

      “I only know what I heard from Eva.”

      “Please?”

      “Bird, you’re putting me in a corner.”

      “Was he so horrible? Was my father a murderer? A rapist?”

      “No! Nothing of the sort!”

      “Then why can’t you tell me about him?” Bird was in tears. She let them fall down her face.

      Hannah reached across the table and wiped them away with her hand.

      Bird said quietly, “Please, Aunt Hannah? Tell me about my father?”

      Hannah studied her. She nodded slowly. “Okay. Eva may never speak to me again, but I’ll tell you everything I know.” Hannah took a deep breath and released it slowly. Bird waited while she found the right words.

      “I’ll have to tell Eva I told you, Bird, and I don’t look forward to it, but I’ll start at the beginning as I understand it.” She paused, and began. “My sister, your mother, was a gorgeous, headstrong young woman. She loved having fun. Still does, but she makes better choices now.” Hannah smiled and briefly shook her head. Bird knew the two sisters had had a troubled relationship over the years, but since Eva’s visit the previous summer, things had been much better.

      “Eva met Fred Sweetree at the Stampede in Calgary, in the province of Alberta. That’s why she named you Alberta, but you knew that.”

      “Sweetree,” Bird repeated. “Fred Sweetree. Wow. I never even knew his name until now.”

      Hannah stretched her back and got comfortable. “Fred was a broncobuster of enormous fame. He won more rodeos that year than anyone ever has, before or since. People said the horses bucked better for him, and less viciously, than for anybody else.”

      Hannah looked at her niece and smiled fondly. “Your father was a star. No — a legend. And above all the women flirting with him, he noticed Eva. They happened to be in the same bar one night, and he bought her a drink. Then another. Eva fell head over heels. It didn’t hurt that all the other women were jealous. They left the bar together, and spent the Stampede week as a couple.”

      Bird could imagine the whole scene — Eva would have loved every minute of being with the toast of the town. The charismatic cowboy and the glamorous party girl.

      Hannah continued, but her voice was more guarded now. “The last day of the Stampede, things went terribly wrong. Rumours circulated that Fred drugged horses. Some of the cowboys, not all, believed what they heard because of the change that came over the horses when Fred was around.” She paused. “They were plain jealous. They couldn’t figure out how else he was so successful.”

      Bird could guess the rest, but she let her aunt finish the story. “The big awards dinner was that night, but Fred knew what people were saying about him and left town before the big trophy and the shiny new belt buckle could be presented.” She paused, and her voice dropped.

      “He also left your mother. Eva was heartbroken. She really loved Fred, Bird.” Hannah moved chairs to sit beside Bird, and put her arm around the girl’s shoulder. “When he left town, he took your mother’s heart with him. But Bird,” Hannah said gently, “he left her with a rare and beautiful gift. He left her with you.”

      Bird imagined her mother, young and irresponsible, but in love and crushed. Alone and pregnant.

      “By the time she found out she was going to have a baby, Fred Sweetree was far away. She tried to contact him through the Stampede and various cowboy associations. After a while she accepted that she was going to have to raise you on her own. She tried her best to forget her dashing cowboy.”