Clementine Classics: Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser. Theodore Dreiser

but for the sake of the plot, this would be the good shit. There were besides these a maid-servant, represented from time to time by girls of various extraction, for Mrs. Hurstwood was not always easy to please.

      “George, I let Mary go yesterday,” was not an unfrequent salutation at the dinner table.

      “All right,” was his only reply. He had long since wearied of discussing the rancorous subject.

      A lovely home atmosphere is one of the flowers of the world, than which there is nothing more tender, nothing more delicate, nothing more calculated to make strong and just the natures cradled and nourished within it. Those who have never experienced such a beneficent influence will not understand wherefore the tear springs glistening to the eyelids at some strange breath in lovely music. The mystic chords which bind and thrill the heart of the nation, they will never know.

      Hurstwood’s residence could scarcely be said to be infused with this home spirit. It lacked that toleration and regard without which the home is nothing. There was fine furniture, arranged as soothingly as the artistic perception of the occupants warranted. There were soft rugs, rich, upholstered chairs and divans, a grand piano, a marble carving of some unknown Venus by some unknown artist, and a number of small bronzes gathered from heaven knows where, but generally sold by the large furniture houses along with everything else which goes to make the “perfectly appointed house.” You know you’re rich when you don’t know where the fuck your art came from. This was probably dug up personally by Indiana Jones, and old Hurstwood just tossed it in the foyer (pronounced to rhyme with “Kanye”) with the rest.

      In the dining-room stood a sideboard laden with glistening decanters and other utilities and ornaments in glass, the arrangement of which could not be questioned. Here was something Hurstwood knew about. He had studied the subject for years in his business. He took no little satisfaction in telling each Mary, shortly after she arrived, something of what the art of the thing required. He was not garrulous by any means. On the contrary, there was a fine reserve in his manner toward the entire domestic economy of his life which was all that is comprehended by the popular term, gentlemanly. He would not argue, he would not talk freely. In his manner was something of the dogmatist. What he could not correct, he would ignore. There was a tendency in him to walk away from the impossible thing.

      There was a time when he had been considerably enamored of his Jessica, especially when he was younger and more confined in his success. Now, however, in her seventeenth year, Jessica had developed a certain amount of reserve and independence which was not inviting to the richest form of parental devotion. I love teenage shenanigans, especially at the cost of the parents’ mental health. Let’s hope this one fucks shit up. She was in the high school, and had notions of life which were decidedly those of a patrician. She liked nice clothes and urged for them constantly. Thoughts of love and elegant individual establishments were running in her head. She met girls at the high school whose parents were truly rich and whose fathers had standing locally as partners or owners of solid businesses. These girls gave themselves the airs befitting the thriving domestic establishments from whence they issued. They were the only ones of the school about whom Jessica concerned herself.

      Young Hurstwood, Jr., was in his twentieth year, and was already connected in a promising capacity with a large real estate firm. He contributed nothing for the domestic expenses of the family, but was thought to be saving his money to invest in real estate. He had some ability, considerable vanity, and a love of pleasure that had not, as yet, infringed upon his duties, whatever they were. He came in and went out, pursuing his own plans and fancies, addressing a few words to his mother occasionally, relating some little incident to his father, but for the most part confining himself to those generalities with which most conversation concerns itself. Another chap that fits my own “fancy.” I’m waiting for a female character I can respect. But knowing Dreiser, I’d be better off respecting a fucking mealworm. He was not laying bare his desires for any one to see. He did not find any one in the house who particularly cared to see.

      Mrs. Hurstwood was the type of woman who has ever endeavored to shine and has been more or less chagrined at the evidences of superior capability in this direction elsewhere. Her knowledge of life extended to that little conventional round of society of which she was not—but longed to be—a member. She was not without realization already that this thing was impossible, so far as she was concerned. For her daughter, she hoped better things. This is why I’m a confirmed old spinster. I don’t give a fuck if my genetic legacy ends with me. Kids are fucking monsters, especially when you tack your expectations on them. There are only two things you can hope for in this life: regular meals and a chance at permanent hibernation. Through Jessica she might rise a little. Through George, Jr.’s, possible success she might draw to herself the privilege of pointing proudly. Even Hurstwood was doing well enough, and she was anxious that his small real estate adventures should prosper. His property holdings, as yet, were rather small, but his income was pleasing and his position with Fitzgerald and Moy was fixed. Both those gentlemen were on pleasant and rather informal terms with him.

      The atmosphere which such personalities would create must be apparent to all. It worked out in a thousand little conversations, all of which were of the same caliber.

      “I’m going up to Fox Lake tomorrow,” announced George, Jr., at the dinner table one Friday evening.

      “What’s going on up there?” queried Mrs. Hurstwood.

      “Eddie Fahrway’s got a new steam launch, and he wants me to come up and see how it works.” A steam launch was the 1890-equivalent to a souped-up Corvette. Rich people love boats. Being on the water makes them feel like Poseidon or some shit.

      “How much did it cost him?” asked his mother.

      “Oh, over two thousand dollars. He says it’s a dandy.”

      “Old Fahrway must be making money,” put in Hurstwood.

      “He is, I guess. Jack told me they were shipping Vegacura to Australia now—said they sent a whole box to Cape Town last week.”

      “Just think of that!” said Mrs. Hurstwood, “and only four years ago they had that basement in Madison Street.”

      “Jack told me they were going to put up a six-story building next spring in Robey Street.”

      “Just think of that!” said Jessica.

      On this particular occasion Hurstwood wished to leave early. “I guess I’ll be going downtown,” he remarked, rising.

      “Are we going to McVicker’s Monday?” questioned Mrs. Hurstwood, without rising. Don’t ask about old businesses if you don’t want to be fucking depressed. McVickers was one of Chicago’s grandest theaters back in the day before new-fangled movie theaters took over. It was eventually razed to make room for an empty lot. Now a bunch of condos and office buildings sit atop its grave. Hey, you asked.

      “Yes,” he said indifferently.

      They went on dining, while he went upstairs for his hat and coat. Presently the door clicked.

      “I guess papa’s gone,” said Jessica.

      The latter’s school news was of a particular stripe.

      “They’re going to give a performance in the Lyceum, upstairs,” she reported one day, “and I’m going to be in it.”

      “Are you?” said her mother.

      “Yes, and I’ll have to have a new dress. Some of the nicest girls in the school are going to be in it. Miss Palmer is going to take the part of Portia.”

      “Is she?” said Mrs. Hurstwood.

      “They’ve got that Martha Griswold in it again. She thinks she can act.”

      “Her family doesn’t amount to anything, does it?” said Mrs. Hurstwood sympathetically. “They haven’t anything, have they?” A family that bitches together, stays together. I’m ready for some Dynasty shit to go down, so I hope these ladies have the shoulder pads to back up their trash talk.

      “No,”