LONER IN THE RUSH HOUR CROWD. I AM GOING TO KILL. Alexander Cherenov

But next the moment we leave each other in doubt. First, the counterpart’s surprise is peculiar: only that he was in my place. After all, it was me who now had to revive – or deaden – the landscape with my «presence-absence». Secondly, the not-yet-finished man was already… a washed-up man. More precisely: finished off by me personally. Yes, and as a man, he ended long before his end. And, maybe, he did not start at all. And if so, then so be it! In the sense of: not to be him. And if they were to be only the former!

      I look around. Not spy: not before the movie. I’m visibly nervous. Not because of the act of optimization: the situation and does not claim the status of «and the bloody boys in his eyes». I am nervous for another reason: our street is not at all quiet, because it is not a street, but the central street. But I am lucky: as ordered, the street works off the street. Along the line of living souls: none in sight. I hope that I am «out of the field». This is not for long, but enough for me to «get out of the battle without a loss». I am lucky. Although why is it «lucky»? Why should it be the other way around? After all, «the opposite» – and so is my daily «modus vivendi».

      Just in case I mow my eyes round and in all directions. There is no one here. It probably happens, that way because there is. But, «however» – it’s time: a chance «light up» is ready to give himself at any time and not at my disposal. Therefore, I do not think long. Already at the moment of departure I was visited by the thought: would you let me know? Do not draw with blood the «victim of the attack of the unknown» sign «brick» on the windshield? Well, to understand and think?

      But the next moment, this thought is «driven over» by another: what if they understand more than I would like? That is, they guess, that this is the work of a local comrade? Simple logic: what is the business of the «transit passenger» to the «alien scoundrel»? There are his own scoundrels on the «transit»! So, «the soul of the poet did not endure… according to his place of residence»?! Here, and it will turn out: instead of trying to instill in fear potential offenders, I will instill myself by giving trail to «comrades from the regional administration»! Of course, I really want to sensitize them, but it is better, though, to enlighten oneself.

      And I do so: immediately, albeit slowly, I appeal in a passerby. One thing is done – and now I have to do another: to comprehend what has been done. No, better, like this: «done»! And there is something to comprehend: the first thing. I don’t want to remember a soldier who mourns his first victim, but even a soldier cannot remain indifferent, even a soldier who is «state-wise»! What to speak for us, civilians?

      I go home and indulge in thinking. No, I do not «lay wreaths on the grave». The «untimely fallen» fell even at the wrong time, but with an obvious delay. According to merit, he would have long since grown into worms: no good. Therefore, my thoughts are «on the other side»: «what to do?» Not in the sense of «run or stay?». On the contrary: the question is global. Like Chernyshevsky in the novel. I took the first step – do I need to do the next? After all, the first step was from the category of «soul beautiful impulses». Should I move to another category – that’s the question! Whether to put work with the client on the stream or limit to what is called «according to the situation»? And, can, be limited to already made good?

      First you need to deal with sensations. What are they: satisfaction? Fear? Decay? Elevated lift? Perhaps, a bit of everything. But the «root» is the rise: the rest are «bind». I feel good, not because they haven’t caught them yet: because there has been less of one rascal. Because I did a good deed. I do not know the details of the traffic violator, but I know that he deserved his fate of my client.

      It takes about ten minutes – and here, the first passer-by. Now you can: I have already «retired to the prepared lines». «The First» behaves «in accordance with the instructions»: «I see nothing, hear nothing, know nothing, say nothing to anyone». He fearfully mows his eyes at the «still life», looks around and «gives the go»! Correctly does. That’s right: and mows, and looks around, and gives. Because, God forbid, they will notice… what he noticed. After all, then «involve and embrace». «Involve» by dragging, and «embrace» from all sides not only with your hands. It’s very simply for us go to category from witnesses go to category of suspects and accused.

      But fools do not sow and do not reap. For ten smart there is always one… «other.» It is now. This «eleventh» – well, ten smart plus he – climbs into the car, in the American manner pokes his fingers into the client’s carotid artery, and raises the alarm. Simply put: hi. Several people come running (much more scattering – and in all directions). A group of three fools – all the clever have already dispersed – is harassed by the police, and she succeeds. As far as I understand facial expressions, the police only record what they have nothing to fix – in addition to the «body in the range». Fools are «drawn and embraced», but foolishly they still do not understand this. Understanding will come to them later – together with a «group of comrades» with improvised means «in the department» already there.

      And now they are overwhelmed with a sense of pride in the consciousness of their duty. Soon, other feelings will overwhelm them – at least, two of these social activists will never again succumb to the «call of the heart». An excess of feelings will fill the lack of brains and all together they will give birth to the thought: «Do not go where you don’t ask! And even ask – do not go!»

      On this day, I no longer see the permanent «garage owners» in our walkway. Perhaps, they are discouraged by a fresh spot on asphalt. Not even one spot, but several: the client leaked through all the holes, both natural and additionally arranged by me. Only one person lonely draws circles at the scene: investigator. Judging by the fact that he is alone, I make the only correct conclusion: a comrade was thrown «under the tank». And this means, that the case has already been recognized as having no prospects – and the comrade simply «works for volume»: collects waste paper. And this already means, that I can calm down completely, and even before the investigator write off the file to the archive of my memory.

      But this does not cancel thoughts on Chernyshevsky: «What to do?» Restrict local success or step on the slippery slope of the struggle for justice? Stepping on her, I should be aware, that I will have to work as a scout behind enemy lines: only aliens are around. And my next step may be the last. But «you cannot shoot all»! This audience grows like toadstools: it is not necessary to cultivate. Maybe you should not burden yourself with routine tasks, even more so with taking higher obligations? Wouldn’t it be better to limit oneself to work «according to the situation», when there will be no patience, no other way out, except for going out to the business and to the client? I’m not a «conscious fighter for the cause of the revolution»: I’m just a partial person…

      Chapter three

      I click the knife button. No, I’m not «at work» yet. I am just inspecting the weapon… And once again «no»: not crimes, but retaliation. And this is not a question of terminology. This is a fundamental difference. And I look around not to say goodbye to it. You have to be the last fool: this is not a knife, but a work of art, piece work. As they say in places «not so remote» (simply – far): «First grade!» And, if, really, not in my pocket, then he has a place – in the museum! And not in the museum of the history of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, and in the Armory!

      I got it on occasion, got even before me finally «got it». I brought it from the army, from the harsh places, that «at the very edge of the earth». By the way, that’s very convenient: look for the ends… on the edge! How did this happen? Elementary: if Shura Balaganov happened sit in the prison along with a source of information about millions of Koreiko, I happened to be in the hospital with one goner, neither the name nor the face of which I do not remember. And not «already», but «immediately, as soon as». As soon as I went out of the gate of the institution: «out of sight, out of mind». That’s very convenient also: how to remember something, that did not have