Totally Frank: The Autobiography of Frank Lampard. Frank Lampard

fractious it was because when I speak to Harry now it’s completely different. Now we speak on a much more equal basis. Until I left West Ham that wasn’t possible but I feel I have earned his respect. There have been occasions – winning the Football Writers’ Player of the Year in 2005 – when he called me up to say well done that I realized we were finally free of the difficulties which affected our relationship at West Ham. That was very liberating – not just for me but for all of us.

      Harry was sitting with Aunt Sandra in front of me at the Player of the Year dinner and I could see she was quite emotional as I spoke about ways in which they had helped me. Sandra is very much like Mum. She gave support and encouragement to Mark and Jamie but when I was around she found just as much time for me. She was kind and understanding – even when I was helping Jamie obliterate her beloved bird cage in the back garden – and I realize now that it wasn’t just my relationship with Harry which was affected. I could relate to Sandra in the way I did to Mum and I respect her for the way she would be the gel in her family during the highs and lows which a life in football brings. I regret that it became impossible for us to enjoy a normal family friendship during those times. I found myself being pushed a little farther away from someone who I had been very close to as a child. We are relaxed and we can talk more now. It’s a shame we had all the years of pressure when we were so involved at West Ham.

      My experience was different from Dad’s and Harry’s. During my childhood and development as a player it was quite hard to have a Dad who was a famous player. Dad is someone who is extremely well regarded in the history of West Ham and I was following on. I also had an uncle and cousin who I was, inevitably, compared with. But Jamie was a peer and gave me something to aim for and emulate. It was a huge motivating factor to have a cousin as good as him. I lived that moment with him and was desperate to get up there with him. The flip side, as I discovered, was being referred to as a poor man’s Jamie Redknapp. I had hardly had a chance in the first team but already I was being compared unfavourably with my cousin. The thing with my Dad and Harry was only there when I was at West Ham but with Jamie it extended beyond that because he was the top man.

      I wanted to reach that level and win the league and there was real pressure behind that. In some senses it took me quite a long time to overcome that pressure. I was nowhere near as confident. Jamie was seen as a player who exuded natural talent whereas I have been perceived as someone who had to graft. People still say that Jamie had more talent and that I work harder. I know why that’s said but in all honesty I think it’s a very lazy assessment. People who have raw talent can smack you in the face with it and by that I mean someone like Ronaldinho who is mesmerizing to play against.

      On the other hand, is it fair to say that someone like Roy Keane doesn’t have any talent, or John Terry, because it’s not right there in your face? Talent isn’t just the ability to do tricks and beat men. Yes, that is a fantastic skill, and maybe some people are born with that ability where others aren’t. But there is also a different kind of talent which is about how much you drive yourself inside to be the very best. I am insulted when people say that I have worked hard because I am not the most talented. My talent is what I am now. It combines how hard I have worked, how much I have learned, how many goals I have scored and how many games I have played.

      It’s a generalization which I don’t think is right. I may have agreed in the past because I was ignorant of what constitutes genuine talent. Keane has as much technical ability and talent as Ronaldinho and has proven that, when he has pushed himself in his career – through perseverance, application, and sheer desire to achieve. That, takes real talent.

      I understand the argument when you look at someone like Wayne Rooney who exploded on to the football scene at 16. It’s easy to describe his as God-given talent. At 17, I wouldn’t have had the strength or the mental maturity to play for England but there is no rule which says that everyone needs to peak at an early age. Very few do – especially for their country. Talent is what you make of it and it’s not all about hard work.

      I had to build myself up physically to make it as a professional. I recognized that but there are lots of people who don’t and just go out of the game because they think they can make it on ability alone. I played with some great youth teams, players who had great feet, could score goals but never realized that you had to bridge the gap between having the potential to be a player and doing what was necessary to become one.

      I had the ability. I used to run past people for fun at school and with my club team and youth team I was banging in twenty odd goals without difficulty. But then I realized that when I tried to make the step up I was struggling to make it round the pitch. I didn’t have the physique to battle it out in tackles. I was a chubby kid and I needed to work on my speed and agility and I spent hours trying to improve myself. I would often just go to the park near the house and do stuff with Dad. We would practise shooting or running, just to sharpen me up. It was a useful exercise partly because it made me a very keen trainer from an early age but not all the sessions were positive.

      Once when I was around 14, Dad was crossing balls for me to head or shoot into the empty goal. I couldn’t hit a single ball. I don’t know if I was having a growth spurt or if I was unwell but nothing I tried came off, not even the simplest thing. I was devoid of co-ordination and eventually got so upset that I ran off. I couldn’t tolerate that I wasn’t able to do it well and a massive fear overcame me that I wasn’t good enough to be a footballer. I was beginning to wonder about the future and whether or not I would be offered a contract as a trainee professional. I got back to the house in tears. Dad asked me why I had given up but I was having a panic attack that I wasn’t going to make the grade. Yet next day I went back and tried again, and it was better.

      I learned that there are certain times when I knew that I had to improve a part of my game or my body to make sure that I could compete. I have always worked hard to overcome any obstacle. If that didn’t work then I would work harder still. It’s something which has been apparent in everything that I have done in my life and I am sure a lot of people will recognize it. For me it really hit home that in order to get a contract at West Ham, get into the reserves, make the first team, I had to work for it.

      There have been moments when maybe I wasn’t ready for the next step. I had to do a bit extra to get there. Maybe players like Rooney have it straight away but I didn’t. I am lucky in some ways to have had that because it has made me respect the effort it takes to achieve your goals. Whatever I succeed in it is because of hard work. I can play football and score goals well enough but the minute I stop training or working hard I know that I won’t be what I am. If I slack off in training I know that I won’t score as many goals or be such an imposing figure in a match.

      Now if I have a quiet game I ask myself a whole host of questions. Am I training to my optimum? Have I been making as many tackles in ‘keep ball’ or getting tight on my man in practice games? Have I been standing off the pace? I need answers and I will lose sleep until I am satisfied that I know why. At other times I will know that I am not at my best during a game and I try to up my tempo to make sure that I am competing. There are occasions when you might be able get away with it. Maybe you score a goal and get man-of-the-match. But I know if I haven’t been putting myself through what I should, and I have to get my head down and start again.

      Trying harder is a natural cycle for me. When I was in my first year as a pro at West Ham my Dad got Manny Omoyinmi to run at me one-on-one. Manny was lightning quick and skilful on the ball. He skinned me – ran at me and round me – ten times on the spin. Then on the eleventh I got a little touch and the next I knocked the ball away and by the end of the session he couldn’t beat me. That was a great lesson and reminder to me that you can always work out how to deal with a situation. I still do it. Even now in pre-season I can sometimes have a shocker in five-a-side when I’ve had a few weeks off. Someone once said I’m a slow starter. I don’t think that’s the case. I do everything to make sure I come out of the blocks quicker than my opponents. I try to better myself. I am aware that I need to be put under pressure to get on the right level.

      You learn what you need and I know what I need and one of the great things about working with Jose Mourinho is that he respects his top players and recognizes that they know best what they need. Claudio Ranieri would always try to tell me that I should do this or that even