Joy for Mourning. Dorothy Clark

“Are you trying to get rid of me, madam?”

      Elizabeth laughed. “Only until you calm down a bit.”

      Justin’s mouth twisted into a rueful smile. “I’m sorry if I’m being a bear about this, Elizabeth. I think I’ll take your advice. A brisk walk is exactly what I need.” He dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose, then planted one on her mouth and left the room. When she could no longer hear his footsteps, she sighed and bowed her head.

      “Father God, please guide Justin and me with Your wisdom to know what is best to do for Laina. Please give us understanding of her hurt and grief, and compassion and wisdom to help her through it. And dear Lord, I pray You will lead Laina in the path of Your choosing for her that she might know peace and fulfillment. Please touch her heart with Your healing hand and make her truly happy. I ask it in Your holy name. Amen.”

      Elizabeth released another long sigh and blinked away the tears pooled in her eyes. She had a sudden urgent need to see her children—to look on their dear, sleeping faces. She hurried from the room, down the hall to the staircase and began to climb. How blessed she was to have a loving husband and three healthy, happy children! Her heart overflowed with thanksgiving. “Dear Lord, may You bless Laina as richly as You have blessed me!”

      Laina whimpered and turned onto her side, her fingers flexing against the feather pillow, drawing it closer. It bunched beneath her hand. Her fingers flexed again.

      There were children floating at her out of the darkness. Children of all ages and sizes, from babies to adolescents. Angry, crying, frightened children. She caught each child as they neared, pulling them out of the darkness and tucking them into her heart where they would be loved and protected. Her heart grew larger and larger. She was afraid it would burst, but still she gathered the children in. Her arms grew weary as she worked until at last they fell useless to her sides. No. No! She couldn’t stop. She had to help the children!

      A man came and stood beside her. She could feel his strength. He began pulling the children out of the darkness, and her distress eased. She tried to see who the man was, but whenever she looked, he was turned away reaching for another child. Her heart became engorged with them. How could it hold more? What would she do with them all?

      Justin appeared, smiling and placing his hand on her swollen, enlarged heart. “It’s going to be all right, Lainy—heart’s promise.” His hand turned into a purse that burst open, raining money down over the children in her heart. They began to laugh. The sound filled her with joy. She began to laugh with them.

      The man took hold of her hand and suddenly they were alone. His touch made her forget how to breathe. She looked up. She couldn’t see his face! Who was he?

      Justin laughed.

      He knew! She spun toward her brother, but he was floating away. “Don’t go, Justin! Tell me! Who is he?”

      “Heart’s promise, Lainy, heart’s promise…”

      “Justin, wait!”

      Laina bolted upright, startled awake by her own cry. Her heart was pounding. She clasped her hand to her chest and darted her gaze about the room searching for her brother. The dim, flickering light of the fire highlighted the objects in the room. There was no one there. She was alone. It was only a dream.

      Laina shook her head and sank back onto the pillow. She could understand dreaming about Justin and children, because she’d been thinking of them when she drifted off to sleep. But who was the stranger? And what about the money? It made no sense. No sense at all. She yawned and closed her eyes. It was probably because she was so tired….

      Chapter Two

      It was hunger that woke her.

      Laina opened her eyes, and the first thing she saw was the red tester overhead. She stared at it in confusion for a moment, then smiled as her sleep-befuddled mind cleared. She’d made it! She was at Randolph Court. Oh, glory, glory, glory!

      Laina sat up and swept her gaze around the large bedroom, drinking in the sights. Someone had been in and built up the fire. It was blazing merrily, its flickering light warming the red-and-cream-patterned silk on the walls, the red, blue and green paisley fabric on the chair that sat at the side of the hearth. Oh, how wonderful to see bright colors again!

      Her stomach rumbled. Laina slid from the bed, lifted the napkin-covered plate from the nightstand and carried it to the chair. The fire warmed her bare feet and the swirling colors in the paisley fabric cheered her soul as she curled into the chair’s padded comfort. For the first time since Stanford’s passing she felt truly hungry. She lifted the napkin, placed it on her lap and picked up the fork. The first bite of baked apple tasted delicious. She took another, then another with a bite of cheese.

      Wonderful! If she hadn’t had good manners drilled into her as a child, she would have smacked her lips. Laina smiled, finished the apple, then popped the last bite of cheese into her mouth.

      “You’re awake.”

      Laina gasped and almost dropped the plate as she jerked around toward the door.

      “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I was being quiet in case you were still asleep.” Elizabeth smiled and closed the door. “How are you feeling?”

      “Much better.” Laina held up the empty plate. “My compliments to your cook.”

      Elizabeth’s laughter washed over her like healing balm. “I hope you haven’t spoiled your appetite. It’s almost time for dinner.”

      “Dinner?” Laina stared up at Elizabeth. “No wonder I feel better. I haven’t slept the night through since—” She swallowed and looked down at her hands. It was still hard to speak the words aloud.

      Elizabeth bent and gave her a quick hug. “You were truly exhausted, Laina. I’m so pleased you rested well and are feeling stronger.” She smiled and took the empty plate. “Do you feel up to coming down to the dining room, or would you prefer a tray here in your room?”

      “No, no tray.” Laina shook her head and rose to her feet. “I’ve had enough of being alone.” She squared her shoulders, trying not to look as pitiful as she felt. “Is there time enough to see the children before dinner? I’ve so been looking forward to making my new nephew’s acquaintance.”

      Elizabeth laughed and nodded. “How could I refuse such a request? We shall make time. Cook can set dinner back an hour. Now, I’ll ring for Trudy while you have a wash, then she will help you dress and do your hair.” Elizabeth smiled at her over her shoulder as she headed for the bellpull. “She’s already set out your things in the dressing room.”

      “Thank you, Trudy, my hair has never looked lovelier.” Laina stepped out of the dressing room and immediately spotted her newly pressed gown on the bed. It looked like a crow among a flock of cardinals. Gloom settled over her like a cloak. She walked to the bed, took the dress into her hands and sighed. “Oh, how I hate to put this dress on. I’m so tired of wearing black!”

      “Then why wear it?”

      “Why?” Laina shot Elizabeth a puzzled look. “Because I’m a widow, and a widow is expected to wear black.”

      “I know the convention, Laina.” Elizabeth moved to stand beside her. “I’m only questioning your reasons for continuing to follow it when it makes you so unhappy. Stanford has been gone nine months—and this is Philadelphia, not New York. No one here will know if you take off your widow’s garb a little early.”

      “Justin—?” Laina stopped as Elizabeth gave a firm shake of her head.

      “Justin hates the custom. He says it’s barbaric. He has written in his will that I am not to wear black if he departs this earth before me.” She smiled. “He likes me in soft colors.”

      “Truly?” Laina heard the surprise in her own voice. She smiled. “Well, I can only say my brother is a very considerate and wise man.” She looked down at the hated black garment