Three Letters. Josephine Cox

this.’

      ‘Oh, give over. You and me, we look after each other. Always have, always will.’ He gave Tom a friendly push. ‘Now then, be off and get the lad to his bed.’

      As Tom hurried towards the kitchen, Bob called after him, ‘You needn’t worry if you didn’t have time to pack a bag for the lad. Casey allus keeps a spare pair o’ jamas here. And I’ve enough shirts upstairs to open a shop. Find one that doesn’t altogether drown him, and he’ll come to no harm. Now then! Don’t forget to fetch him in ’ere, so’s he can say good night to his old granddad.’

      Tom found Casey on the kitchen floor, with the comic spread out in front of him, but he wasn’t reading it. Instead, he was lying flat, with his arms stretched out, and his head resting on his arms. ‘It’s time for bed, son.’ Tom stooped down beside him. ‘Granddad Bob needs you to say good night.’

      Big, soulful eyes looked up at Tom. ‘Did Granddad Bob say we can stay here then?’ His voice was suspiciously shaky, and from the smudges round his eyes, Tom suspected he’d been crying.

      ‘We can stay here as long as we want, that’s what he said.’

      ‘Can’t I stay up a bit longer?’

      ‘No, son. You’ve had a rough time of it. You need to get your sleep. You look shattered, and besides, me and Granddad Bob need to talk … grown-up stuff, if you know what I mean?’

      ‘About that man?’

      ‘About all sorts of things.’ Tom wisely skirted the reference to ‘that man’.

      ‘Dad?’

      ‘Yes.’ Taking the boy by his arms, Tom drew him up. ‘What is it, son?’

      ‘I don’t think I can go to sleep.’

      ‘Oh, and why’s that?’ Tom needed to satisfy himself that, tonight of all nights, his son should sleep well and be safe from harm.

      One thing was certain: there would be no sleep for Tom himself. Not with his mind in such turmoil. He needed space and quiet in order to think things through. He had to be sure he was doing the right thing for everyone, and not just for himself. Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, he had made an agonising decision, which was bound to cause further pain and regrets for those he loved.

      To his surprise, he found himself counting Ruth in that group. He knew she could be unbelievably cruel, and he deeply regretted the shame she had brought to their marriage. Moreover, he had seen at first hand her uncontrollable dislike for the boy. And yet, for some reason, Tom was surprised to find that he still had feelings for her.

      Angry and confused, he thrust away his thoughts and concentrated on Casey. ‘Right then, son, let’s have you. First, you can say good night to your granddad, then it’s off up them stairs.’

      ‘OK.’ Without further ado, the boy replaced the biscuit barrel to the shelf, then he folded his comic and tucked it under his arm, before giving a long, lazy yawn. ‘Did Granddad really say we can stay here?’

      ‘If we want to, yes.’

      ‘Well, I want to, ’cause I never want to go back home.’

      ‘All right, son, but for now, I need you to put it all out of your mind and get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day, isn’t that so?’ He thought it surprising that, even after all the turmoil and troubles, the boy still referred to that unhappy dwelling on Henry Street as ‘home’.

      Granddad Bob held Casey a moment longer than he might normally have done. ‘You’ve had a bit of a rough time,’ he said, ‘but it’s all behind you now, so put it out of your mind, lad. And while you’re here, you and your dad must treat this place as your own home. D’you understand?’

      ‘Thank you.’ The boy hugged him. ‘I love you, Granddad Bob.’

      ‘Mek sure you do, or you’ll get no more ginger biscuits.’ He gave a little wink. ‘Right?’

      ‘Right!’

      Giggling, Casey ran across to his father. ‘Granddad Bob is really funny.’

      Tom laughed. ‘Until you leave the bathroom in a mess, then you’ll find out differently.’

      ‘I don’t leave the bathroom in a mess.’

      ‘Ah, well, that’s a good job then, isn’t it?’

      As the two of them went up the stairs, chatting and laughing, the old man remained deep in thought.

      The boy’s overheard remark about ‘that man’ had only confirmed his suspicions about Ruth’s continuing affairs.

      Yet Bob wondered whether that was just one reason for Tom’s distress. He couldn’t help but feel that Tom was keeping something back. Something he was not yet ready to share. What else besides his marriage had gone wrong?

      The idea of Tom carrying some deep problem he felt unable to share was deeply worrying to the old man; so much so that he began pacing back and forth across the parlour.

      Upstairs, Tom lingered by the bathroom door while young Casey squirted a measure of toothpaste onto his finger before rubbing it into his teeth. ‘If we’re staying here now, I’ll need a new toothbrush. I don’t want to go back and get my old one. Is that all right, Dad?’

      ‘Fine by me, so long as you stop talking and get on with the business of cleaning your teeth.’

      A few minutes later, Casey was done. He then wiped the basin over with a flannel. ‘That’s all clean now, eh, Dad?’ Combing his tousled hair, he smiled at Tom.

      ‘Why yes! I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a clean basin. I reckon Granddad Bob will be very pleased with that. You know how fussy he is about his bathroom.’

      As they made their way to the small bedroom, Casey wanted to know, ‘Why is Granddad Bob so fussy about his bathroom?’

      Tom gave it some thought. ‘I reckon it’s because, for a long time, we never had a proper bathroom. My mother – the grandma you never knew – well, she always dreamed of having a proper bathroom, instead of bringing in the tin bath that hung on the wall outside. So anyway, when they finally got the boxroom turned into a bathroom, Mam was so happy that she was very particular about having it left clean and tidy.’

      ‘Why was she so puticlar?’

      ‘I think you mean “particular”.’

      ‘Hmm! Well, why was she so … you know … that?’

      ‘I’ll answer your question when you say the word properly.’ Tom sounded it out: ‘Par-tic-u-lar.’

      ‘All right then. So, why was she so par-tic-u-lar?’

      Laughing, Tom clapped his hands. ‘Well done! Mum was so proud of the bathroom that she wanted visitors to see it in all its shining glory, polished up and clean as a whistle. Your granddad remembers that, and it’s why he, too, wants the bathroom always to be left clean, just the way Grandma would have liked it.’

      ‘Oh, I see.’ Casey was happy with the explanation.

      Tom turned back the bedclothes and Casey climbed in.

      ‘Dad?’

      ‘Yes, son?’

      ‘I love it here, with Granddad Bob.’

      ‘Good.’

      ‘Can we stay for ever?’

      ‘Maybe.’

      ‘Would you like to stay here for ever, Dad?’

      ‘I think so.’ If things were different, he wondered if his answer might have been more definite.

      ‘And d’you think Granddad Bob would be willing to put up with us, if we stayed for ever, I mean?’

      ‘Yes, ’cause