Home is Where the Heart Is. Freda Lightfoot

which brought forth cheers all round. They finished their performance by singing ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’, with which everyone in the audience joined in, save for Cathie. Cathie was in tears, as she knew it had been sung by Judy Garland in Meet Me in St Louis, the film Sal had gone to see on the day of her fatal accident. How unfair life was.

      Recognising her distress, Steve gave her shoulder a little squeeze. Brushing the tears from her eyes Cathie took a deep breath to calm herself. She really must be brave, for little Heather’s sake, she reminded herself, however difficult that might be.

      As a prelude to Christmas a choir from the local chapel sang the ‘Hallelujah Chorus’ from Handle’s Messiah. There wasn’t a textile town in all of Lancashire and Yorkshire that didn’t revel in the glorious sound of this old favourite. After which, the concert concluded with the pianist playing a medley of carols, from ‘Hark the Herald Angels Sing’ to ‘O Come All Ye Faithful’, accompanied by both the school and chapel choir singing in perfect harmony. This brought forth a rousing applause and a merry singalong from the audience.

      ‘What a wonderful concert that was,’ she told Steve as they said goodnight at the door, having quickly stacked chairs, swept the floor and generally tidied up, with stalwart help from the WI ladies.

      ‘I couldn’t have managed half so well without you,’ he said with a grateful grin. ‘Particularly keeping those kids happy and stopping their fights and arguments.’ They chuckled together as they recalled some of the disputes she’d resolved, and the songs and poems the school children had performed individually.

      ‘Some of them were so talented they put me to shame.’

      ‘What little stars they were. Anyway, thanks for helping to organise the concert. It’s been great fun.’

      ‘Happy to do so. I enjoyed myself enormously. Any time you have an event on, just let me know,’ she said, pecking his cheek with a quick kiss before turning to leave.

      It was then that she saw Alex, standing to attention before them, his brow puckered into a grim frown. ‘Alex, goodness, I’d no idea you intended to come tonight.’ His sudden appearance was startling, and he looked so stern and regimented that Cathie thought for a moment Steve might be about to click his heels together and salute.

      ‘I can see you weren’t expecting me,’ he remarked icily.

      Noting the scowl of jealousy on his face, Cathie hurried to give him a kiss. ‘It’s lovely to see you, darling. You should have told me you were coming. This is Steve Allenby, by the way, who works at the Co-op and organised this event. It has raised a large sum of money for our returning heroes.’

      ‘Cathie worked hard too, bless her,’ Steve said with a smile, as he stretched out a hand for Alex to shake.

      He didn’t take it. Instead, he turned to address his fiancée in a firm tone of voice. ‘I’ve come to see you safely home, not watch this children’s concert.’

      ‘Oh, of course, how kind of you. Well, goodnight Steve.’ Hooking her arm into his, she allowed Alex to lead her out into the cold dark night.

      The incident brought rather a sad feel to the end of what had been a joyous evening. But when they reached the corner of her street Alex pulled her into his arms and proceeded to kiss her with such vigour, any feeling of resentment quickly dissolved as she responded with equal passion. It was almost a compliment that a perfectly boring friendship with Steve had sparked jealousy in him. Alex’s increasing fervour did cause her some alarm when he slid his hand down her thigh to lift her skirt and began to fondle her private parts. She almost slapped his hand away, feeling a sudden urge to protest that he was going too far, but then lost the courage as desire flowered within her. Hadn’t he made it very clear that he wished to enjoy life again? Who was she to deny him a little pleasure, and after all these years apart?

      Besides, didn’t his need for her prove how very much he loved her?

      On Christmas Eve, Cathie went through the ritual of hanging up the baby’s Christmas stocking, and setting out a plate of mince tarts and a small glass of sherry for Santa Claus, even though little Heather hadn’t the first idea what was going on. When Christmas Day finally dawned, the little girl instantly fell in love with the soft little teddy bear she found poking out of the stocking. What a joy the child was, so happy and giggly, and so easy to love. She stood holding tight to a chair as she dangled the bear with one hand. Then pulling it to her chest, gave it a hug as she took her first step, wobbled madly for a moment and then plonked down on her bottom. Cathie laughed and clapped with delight. She’d be walking soon.

      ‘This was your mummy’s teddy when she was a little girl. He’s called Billy. I’m so glad you like him too,’ she said to the bright-eyed child, who instantly planted a kiss on the stuffed bear’s nose, then said, ‘B-b-b,’ as if making an effort to start practising his name.

      They had a fun time playing with her new toys – some wooden bricks and a little postbox with plastic letters to fit in. Later in the morning Cathie reluctantly handed Heather over to Davina. She hated the idea of them spending Christmas apart. Oh, how she wished she’d mentioned the baby before now, then she wouldn’t have needed to leave her. But everything had seemed much more complicated than she’d expected, or else she was still very much the coward Steve remembered. Cathie was quite certain everything would have been different had she found the courage to do the right thing. Then Alex would have invited Heather. Now it was too late. It certainly wouldn’t be appropriate to mention the subject today, but once Christmas was over Cathie fully intended to explain everything.

      ‘So your mother didn’t rise to the occasion then?’ Davina asked, with a wry smile. She rocked the pram a little and then smiled down at the baby, who was sitting up straight and proud, cuddling the bear in her arms.

      ‘I’m afraid not.’

      Rona had already gone off to The Donkey, her favourite pub on Water Street, to celebrate Christmas Day with her friends. Having witnessed Alex’s invitation at first hand, she’d quickly made it very clear that the baby was not her responsibility. ‘The child needs a proper mother, not a young girl like yourself who can’t even offer her a father.’

      ‘I’m about to be married so I will be able to offer her one soon. I realise I should have told Alex about Heather long before now. You were wrong to advise me against doing that, Mam. But couldn’t you just for once stand in for me, if only for a few hours. It is the season of goodwill.’

      Rona had been sitting at her dressing table applying rouge and lipstick with her usual diligence, then fluffed up her victory roll hairstyle, scarcely listening to a word Cathie said, as her next remark proved. ‘Tommy has invited me to his house for dinner. I gave him the goose we bought, and a few of the trimmings so as not to waste them.’

      ‘You did what? You’d no right to do that, Mam. You didn’t even buy that food, I did, and could have cooked it for dinner tomorrow, on Boxing Day.’

      Rona shrugged. ‘You never said you intended to do that. Anyway, it’s too late, it’s gone. No doubt the goose is already in Tommy’s oven. He’s quite a good cook, actually.’

      Now, as Cathie met Davina’s sympathetic gaze with anguish in her own, Cathie let out a heavy sigh. ‘I’ve even lost the food I bought for Christmas, but there’s really no arguing with Rona. She does exactly as she pleases, with no thought for anyone but herself.’

      ‘Maybe you should tell Alex today about the child. It is, as you rightly pointed out to your mother, the season of goodwill, so this could be your best opportunity.’

      ‘I don’t think it would be quite appropriate on the day I meet his parents for the first time.’

      ‘They need to know some time, so why not now?’

      Cathie thought about this piece of advice as she made her way past St John’s Church. Once she had met his parents and done the polite thing by chatting to them and enjoying the Christmas meal they offered, she hoped there might come a moment during