Gentle First Year: The Essential Guide to Mother and Baby Wellbeing in the First Twelve Months. Karen MacLeod Swan

- Three to Six Months

       Baby

       Sleep

       Physical Independence

       Teething

       Dental Routine

       Mother

       Sexual Relationships

       Body Image

       Breastfeeding

       Schedule for Dropping Feeds

      4 - Six Months to One Year

       Baby

       Weaning

       When to Start

       First Foods

       Allergies

       Meal Ideas

       Separation Anxiety

       Mother

       Returning to Work

       Pre-conceptual Care–Getting Ready for Next Time

      5 - Mother & Baby Health A–Z

       Baby

       Neonatal Conditions and Illnesses

       Mother

       Common Postnatal Conditions

      Support & Resources

      Further Reading

      Searchable Terms

      Copyright

      About the Publisher

      Foreword

      It has taken me far too long to try to think of what to say about Gowri. How do you describe a lady who you feel changed your experience of giving birth, a woman who thinks of her mothers and readers as if they were her children, someone who you believe contributed to you and your child?

      I honestly believe that Gowri is a one-off and I feel so lucky to have been able to learn from her great knowledge and affection. It is brilliant that everyone can now share the Gowri experience through her books: becoming aware that we are animals experiencing mother nature’s magic, learning how to open your body to its journey ahead and to connect with the most amazing thing inside you – your little baby. Both before and after birth, Gowri teaches you to visualize what is going to happen to you, and to understand how to make that as easy as possible through diet, exercise and just taking the time to breathe and pause! Gowri taught me what was happening physically to me and my baby and she also opened my mind to what was happening spiritually.

      There is so much information available to us now about how to optimize our pregnancy that we can almost forget that there’ll be a baby at the end of it! It’s as if the journey becomes the destination. And that journey has continued after my baby’s birth as well. There is so much to absorb and learn in the first few months of becoming a mother, and I have been so grateful for Gowri’s support and expertise. She had lots of tips for soothing the baby to sleep and her medical training meant that I could really trust her advice when he was out of sorts! But as much as anything, my greatest comfort was knowing that my post-natal recovery ensured that I could dedicate all my energies to being the best mother I can be. I am sure that by reading this book you too will experience the Gowri phenomenon and enjoy the most important journey life can ever give you – the gentle first year.

      Stella McCartney

      Introduction

      A Shared Journey for Mother and Baby

      At every birth, two people are born – a baby and a mother.

      Ancient Indian wisdom

      It’s a common complaint that after nine months of getting seats on the bus and foot rubs by night, the mother is all but forgotten when the baby is born. She might have a sore perineum and afterpains, but this just can’t compete for attention with the baby’s patch of fuzzy hair and ten perfect toes. This sudden neglect has always seemed strange to me because in India, where I grew up, the birth is regarded as a rebirth for the mother too.

      Motherhood reveals a woman’s best self, ready to nurture and compromise for love of her child.

      All new parents aspire to being and doing their best for their babies, and it’s important to recognize the journey the mother has to take, as well as her baby. This fundamental oversight is repeated at many different cultural levels, and it’s not just partners and new grandparents who are at fault. Have you noticed how most baby books take sides? Some empathize with the baby – tiny, exhausted and completely dependent upon you; others go with the mother – huge, exhausted and completely dependent upon the midwife. The principal ambition of this book is to tell both sides of the story, because you and your baby both have a lot of growing and learning to do in this first year.

      Those of you who followed the programme in my first book, The Gentle Birth Method, will know I regard pregnancy as a shared journey between mother and baby, and that I use a variety of different techniques – such as visualizations and self-care – to promote deep bonding in utero. The Gentle First Year builds on this foundation by nurturing your emotions every bit as much as your body, and showing you how to do the same for your baby.

      the importance of bonding

      If these twelve months are a mountain you must scale together, the success of the climb rests on the preparation made at base camp.

      Bonding underpins both my prenatal and postnatal programmes. I believe that the more you can do to cultivate it (massage, songs, eye contact, play), the more mother and baby will thrive. If these twelve months are a mountain you must scale together, the success of the climb rests on the preparation made at base camp. I believe that the best start for every mother and baby is an intensive and exclusive confinement period in what I call the ‘red tent’, which eclipses everything other than getting to know each other. And I’m not alone in thinking this – I’ve got the weight of history on my side too.

      the red tent

      Much of my first-year programme is rooted in this ancient postnatal concept. The red tent has been passed down from the nomadic communities of the Jacobi era in the Middle East and still exists in modified form in my native India. The red tent refers literally to the tent to which the women retreated during their menstrual flow. Men were prohibited from entering, and all duties – cooking, cleaning and sexual relations – were suspended until they re-emerged three or four days later.

      Why