To Be the Best. Barbara Taylor Bradford

hear myself think when I was in the kitchen, talking to Marcel about the meals for today.’

      ‘Mummy, I’ve been sick,’ Natalie announced, going over to Emily, tugging at her shift. ‘I frowed up.’

      ‘Don’t talk like a baby, you’re a big girl. And it’s threw up,’ Emily corrected. She looked down at her youngest child, frowning, and put a hand on her forehead in concern. ‘Are you feeling all right? Are you better now, angel?’

      ‘I don’t know, Mummy.’

      ‘It’s because she ate all the ginger snaps,’ Linnet said.

      ‘Now, now, Linnet, you know it’s wrong to tell tales out of school!’ Paula reprimanded sharply, scowling at her daughter. ‘And let’s not forget that you’ve been very naughty this morning. First, flinging Tessa’s sun hat in the pool, and then taking your knickers off in public. I’m terribly cross with you, and ashamed of you, Linnet.’ Paula shook her head, trying hard to look appropriately angry without much success, but nevertheless, she added, ‘You’ve disgraced yourself, and the only reason you haven’t been punished yet is because I’m still trying to think of a suitable punishment.’

      Linnet bit her lip, adopted a sorrowful expression, and wisely said nothing.

      Emily looked from her daughter to her niece and then glanced at Paula. She exclaimed, ‘Why do I do such stupid things? Such as letting both nannies have the same day off, so they can go up to Grasse to buy perfume. And today of all days – the last chance you have to get a bit of rest before you go to New York on Wednesday. I’m sorry, Paula.’

      ‘It’s all right, really it is, lovey.’

      Sighing under her breath, Emily now took hold of Natalie’s hand. ‘Come along, let’s go inside and get something to settle your tummy. And you’d better come along, too, Linnet, for a pair of clean underpants.’

      ‘Oh thanks, Emily,’ Paula murmured, settling back in her chair.

      ‘Lunch is at one,’ Emily said, ‘and I’ve booked a table at La Reserve for dinner tonight. Just the four of us.’

      ‘I should jolly well hope so,’ Paula laughed. ‘And it sounds absolutely lovely. It’s ages since we’ve been over there … it’s one of my favourite places.’

      ‘Yes, I know,’ Emily replied, looking pleased as she turned away. She took a couple of steps, stopped, and said over her shoulder to Paula, ‘Oh by the way, I’ve got to go into Monte Carlo this afternoon, to pick up a repair from my antique porcelain man. Do you want to drive in with me? I’ll only be a few minutes with Jules, and then we could take a stroll around the town and have tea at the Hôtel de Paris … watch the world go by for a while, like we used to with Gran.’

      ‘What a nice idea, Emily, yes, I’d like that.’

      Emily gave her a sunny smile, then bustled her charges forward, half bending down, talking to them as they made for the villa.

      Paula watched the three of them go up the path together, the two little girls walking on either side of Emily, clinging to her hands. Linnet and Natalie bore a strong resemblance to each other, could easily be mistaken for sisters since they had both inherited the famous Harte colouring – Emma’s red hair and vivid green eyes and English rose complexion. They were beautiful. Dazzling children, really. A couple of Botticellis.

      Patrick now came to Paula, stood by her chair, touched her arm, stared deeply into her face. ‘Mummy …’

      ‘What is it, darling?’

      ‘Mummy … poor birdie. Gid took it. No funeral now.’ The child shook his head and looked sad.

      ‘Of course we’ll have a funeral,’ Paula said gently, taking his small, rather grubby hand in hers, looking into his angelic face. His black O’Neill eyes were bright and lively for once, not devoid of expression and vacant as they so frequently were. Her heart lifted with joy to see such life in them today.

      She gave her son a reassuring smile, and went on, ‘I know Gideon will bring the little bird back, and we’ll ask Madame Solange for one of her old tin biscuit boxes to put the birdie in, and then after lunch we’ll have the funeral. I promise, darling.’

      Patrick put his head on one side and studied her carefully. ‘Bury it in the garden?’ he asked, and gave her a slow, tentative smile.

      ‘Yes, that’s exactly what we’ll do. Oh darling, look who’s coming!’

      Patrick swung his head and when he saw Shane approaching his face lit up and he extracted his hand from his mother’s and ran to meet his father.

      Paula called out worriedly, ‘Patrick, do be careful. Don’t fall.’

      Patrick did not answer. He sped ahead as fast as his little legs would carry him, shouting, ‘Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!’

      Shane caught his son in his arms and swung him up high in the air, then placed him on his shoulders, and the two of them laughed merrily as Patrick rode Shane back to the pool area, crying, ‘Gee-up, gee-up. Nice horsey. Gee-up, gee-up.’

      ‘I’m going to take him for a swim. Is that okay, darling?’ Shane called. He knelt down and carefully lowered Patrick to the ground.

      ‘Yes, of course,’ Paula called back.

      She sat up straighter, so that she could see the two of them better, shading her eyes with her hand.

      Shane jumped into the shallow end of the pool, holding Patrick tightly in his arms, and immediately they began to frolic in the water, still laughing, and shouting with glee, and Patrick’s face was bright with excitement and happiness and so was Shane’s.

      From this distance, her son seemed like any normal seven-year-old; the problem was that he would always have the mind of a seven-year-old. His body would grow and age, but his mental capacities would remain as they were now for the rest of his life. He would never be any different; they had given up hope of that. When they had first discovered Patrick was retarded, Paula had blamed herself, believing she carried some flaw in her genes which had been inherited from her grandfather. Paul McGill had had a legitimate son, Howard, by his legal wife, Constance, in Australia, and the boy, who had been dead now for a number of years, had been retarded. She had so convinced herself that this was the case, she had told Shane she dare not risk having any more children. But Shane had immediately pooh-poohed her theory, and he had insisted they see Professor Charles Hallingby, a leading geneticist.

      They had both been tested and the results had proved conclusively that neither she nor Shane had passed on any kind of deficiency to their son. Patrick’s condition was inexplicable, simply a terrible fluke of nature. Professor Hallingby, having studied their family histories, had pointed out to Paula that her grandfather’s son may well have suffered prenatal damage because of Constance McGill’s heavy drinking during her pregnancy, a possibility her mother, Daisy, had mentioned innumerable times. She had finally conceded that the professor and her mother could be right. Not unnaturally, the knowledge that Professor Hallingby had imparted had helped to ease her mind. Shortly after, she had conceived again, and when Linnet was born she was a perfectly normal baby.

      Paula loved her children equally, and tried not to have a favourite, but deep down in the innermost regions of her heart she was aware that Patrick was special to her, that he had a unique place in her affections. There was a terrible fierceness about her love for her afflicted child, perhaps, in part, because of his affliction, which made him so vulnerable and dependent.

      His siblings also loved him dearly, were patient, and took great care with him, and for this she was thankful. Often she thought how heartbreaking it would have been if they had despised him or treated him badly or shunned him, as sometimes happened in families where there was a retarded child. But Lorne, Tessa, and even little Linnet, were as protective of Patrick as she and Shane were and, in fact, so were his many cousins. Not one single child in the family had ever made Patrick feel that he was in any way different to them. It was an awful