Classic Bestsellers from Josephine Cox: Bumper Collection. Josephine Cox

      Archie’s eyes lit up at the mention of a woman’s name. ‘Who’s this Harriet then?’

      ‘She’s the landlady at my lodgings.’

      ‘Bit of all right, is she?’ Archie said eagerly, though whether that was the prospect of meeting Harriet, or the effects of too much ale, John couldn’t tell. ‘And she’s agreed to put me up, has she?’

      John confirmed it. ‘You’ll have a camp-bed in my room, and it’ll be for no more than three nights, that’s the deal.’

      ‘Hmh! That’s not much help, if you don’t mind me saying. When the three nights are up, where am I supposed to go from there?’

      Now, when John stood up, Archie followed suit. ‘We’ll have to see, won’t we?’ he answered. ‘First, let’s get you settled, then we’ll head off to the timberyard. It won’t be dark for a few hours yet.’

      ‘And what will you do when we get there?’

      John hadn’t thought that far ahead. ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ he said lamely. ‘Mebbe I’ll offer my skills and a deal of money to buy in as a partner.’

      Archie laughed at his bare-faced cheek. ‘What if they don’t want a partner?’

      ‘Then I’ll set up on my own.’

      Archie was impressed. ‘You’ve got big ideas, I’ll say that for you.’

      Taking him by the elbow, John chided, ‘Seems to me, you’re slightly tipsy.’ He observed how Archie was gently swaying from side to side. ‘I can tell you now, Harriet won’t like that.’

      ‘Then she’s not my sort o’ woman and that’s a fact!’

      ‘Mebbe, but I reckon a bite to eat is in order before we see her.’ He led Archie to the door. ‘There’s a little tearoom round the corner,’ he said. ‘We’ll spend a few minutes in there before we make for the lodgings.’

      Moaning and complaining, Archie followed him. ‘If your landlady is one o’ them miserable types that doesn’t like a man to be merry, I’m not sure I want to lodge there at all!’

      John laughed. ‘I can’t deny she has a forceful side to her, but she’s agreed to let you stay, and that’s good enough for me. So, get a move on, and stop complaining, or I might decide to leave you where I found you.’

      The threat didn’t worry Archie, for he knew that was the last thing John would ever contemplate.

      An hour later, with Archie more sober and milder of mood, John presented him to Harriet. ‘This is my old shipmate Archie,’ he said. ‘A more amiable man you’ll never meet.’

      While Archie took stock of this big, awkward woman with her straight face and large, unattractive hands, Harriet also observed Archie, who nervously glanced away under her scrutiny.

      She walked round him a few times, sniffing at him like a dog might sniff at a bone. And when she was done, she stood before him, hands on hips and her eyes boring into his. ‘You stink!’

      ‘I do not!’ Archie glared back. ‘I’m a particular man and always have been.’

      ‘Hmh! Not particular enough, from where I stand.’ She took another sniff at him and wrinkled her nose. ‘If you ask me, you’ve been keeping company with the dogs on the street, or women of a certain reputation. Either way you stink to high heaven and I’ll have no argument on the matter.’

      When John gave Archie a warning glance, the old man took the hint. ‘All right, so mebbe I do pong a bit. It’s hardly surprising, is it, when I’ve been forced to sleep rough. But you’ve shown a kind heart to a poor old fellow, and I’m ever so grateful for that.’ He congratulated himself on being able to charm the birds from the trees. The trouble was, he hadn’t come across a woman like Harriet before; more was the pity.

      ‘Three nights!’ she declared. ‘But first, you go into the bathroom and strip off your clothes. You throw the clothes outside the door, and while you’re scrubbing the dirt off yourself, I’ll get the dirt off your clothes. I usually send everything to the laundry, but this is an emergency!’

      Archie treated the idea with utter contempt. ‘If you think I’m handing my clothes over to you, you’ve got another think coming, missus! Moreover, if you’re expecting me to climb into a bath, you can keep your lodgings, ’cause I’m not interested.’

      Harriet took him at his word. ‘Fair enough,’ she said. ‘You can leave the same way you came in. I can’t say it was a pleasure meeting you.’

      Smartly turning, she was about to go out of the door when John called her back. ‘He’ll do as you say,’ he promised, and looking at Archie with a warning glare, he instructed, ‘You’ll hand over your clothes and you’ll take a bath, even if I have to scrub your worthless back myself. Isn’t that so, Archie?’

      The old chap remained sullen.

      John gave him a shove. ‘I said isn’t that so, Archie?’

      With great reluctance, he nodded.

      Harriet tutted and John urged his old mate, ‘So, tell the lady, Archie.’

      Snorting with disgust, Archie glared back at John, and in the meekest of voices told Harriet, ‘All right, missus. I’ll do as you say.’ His voice hardened. ‘But I want you to know, I’m not happy about it.’

      Harriet allowed herself a wry little smile. ‘I’m not concerned about you being happy,’ she replied. ‘I’m only concerned to be rid of the stink you’ve brought in with you.’

      When she was gone from the room, Archie gave John a piece of his mind. ‘If I’d known what a tyrant she was, I’d have thought twice about coming here. Wanting the shirt off my back; demanding I get a bath. What next, that’s what I’d like to know!’

      Amused by the confrontation between Archie and the landlady, John told him it was no use his moaning. ‘Think of it this way,’ he suggested mischievously. ‘Once she catches sight of your manly figure, why, she’ll be like putty in your hands.’

      Archie chuckled at that. ‘I’m not so sure I like that idea,’ he said. ‘I mean, yon Harriet’s not the best-looking woman I’ve ever seen, I can tell you that for nothing.’

      Half an hour later, Archie was shoved into the bathroom. ‘Throw your clothes out,’ Harriet told him. ‘I’ll be here waiting.’

      Under protest, Archie did as he was told. ‘Mind you take care of them,’ he warned. ‘They cost money.’

      Hiding behind the door he stripped off his clothes and slung them out. ‘And don’t put no sweet-smelling stuff on them neither. I don’t fancy walking about stinking like a ponce!’

      ‘It’s better than walking about stinking like a polecat!’ Grabbing the clothes with a pair of tongs before he could snatch them back, Harriet placed them in a straw basket held at arm’s length. ‘Make sure you use the carbolic and the razor,’ she reminded him. ‘And don’t come out of there pretending to have had a bath, because I’ll soon know. I’ve been about too long to be taken in.’

      Archie slammed shut the door. ‘You’re right about that,’ he grumbled to himself. ‘Old battle-axe!’

      Tiptoeing across the cold floor, he kept on grumbling. ‘You’re some kind o’ witch, that’s what you are!’ Stubbing his toe on an uneven slabstone, he swore under his breath. ‘Stealing my clothes, dumping me in a tub of water and ordering me about. It’s not as if I even know her. God help me, I only ever clapped eyes on the woman five minutes since!’

      He dipped his toe in the warm water, shivered and took it out again. Stooping over, he gingerly ran his fingers through the water and straightening up, gave a little smile. ‘It’s not bad,’ he said. ‘Not bad at all,’ and he climbed inside and lay back