S.U.M.O (Shut Up, Move On). Paul McGee

straight-talking guide to succeeding in life / Paul McGee. – 10th anniversary edition.

      pages cm

      Includes index.

      ISBN 978-0-85708-622-8 (paperback) 1. Self-actualization (Psychology) I. Title.

      II. Title: Shut up, move on.

      BF637.S4M3915 2015

      158.1 – dc23

2015002041

      A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

      ISBN 978-0-857-08622-8 (pbk)

      ISBN 978-0-857-08620-4 (ebk) ISBN 978-0-857-08621-1 (ebk)

      Cover design: Wiley

      Cover illustration: Fiona Osborne

DedicationTo Paul ‘The Philosopher'with deep gratitude and appreciationfor sharing your friendship, wisdom and laughterFrom The Sumo GuyProverbs 18: 24

      About the Author

      Photo by Andy Preston

      PAUL McGEE is an international speaker, a bestselling author and performance coach. He's Managing Director of his own training and education company and also the proud creator of SUMO (Shut Up, Move On^®).

      Paul's main aim is to help people achieve better results in life, whilst having more fun in the process. He has shared his SUMO message in 40 countries around the globe to date. Paul works with major organizations in both public and private sectors and as a performance coach with Manchester City Football Club. His academic background is in psychology, and his early career was spent working in Human Resources with Unilever.

      Originally from Manchester, he enjoys comedy, football and being around people who make him think. An avid lover of sunshine, his aim is to spend more time working and chilling out in Australia.

      He is married to Helen and has two children, Matt and Ruth, who are his biggest teachers in life, keep him grounded and remind him not to take himself too seriously.

      Preface to the 10thAnniversary Edition

      It was the spring of 2005. I sat at my kitchen table overlooking my garden, making some final changes to the draft of my SUMO book. It was the first time I'd worked with my publisher, Capstone, and it was exciting to do so. But no one was fooling themselves. My editor knew he was taking a chance working on such a book. Thirteen publishers had already turned down the opportunity to publish SUMO. As one editor put it so directly… ‘no one is going to walk into a bookshop and buy a book that's telling them to Shut Up, Move On. A book title has to work from the outset, and Paul, yours just doesn't.'

      Despite my passion for what I was writing I had some genuine concerns. Was anyone really going to take seriously a book that encouraged ‘Fruity Thinking,' said Hippo Time was OK and that we might want to Ditch Doris Day? I had my doubts, but I chose to allow them to occupy the seats at the back of my mind. The seats at the front were where hope and expectation sat. However, doubt was sometimes encouraged to take centre stage by some well-meaning friends who sensitively asked ‘What will you do if it's a flop? How will you cope with the disappointment?' Who needs enemies, eh?

      My mentor and best mate Paul Sandham was slightly more encouraging: ‘You've got a unique, quirky style bud. It won't be to everyone's taste, but it will connect with more people than you realize. Just make sure you share your struggles, not just your successes. That's what will make this book different.' So I did.

      As you'll discover, I've sought to add some colour and context to what you're about to read. My goal is not just simply to share some ideas, but to highlight how these ideas have helped me overcome some of my own challenges. Ten years on from its first publication, it seems my mate Paul had a point – people connect with stories. People not only read mine, but contacted me to share theirs. You see, I realize that although we may never have met, we do have things in common. Most of us are not celebrities. We're not chased by the paparazzi. Our photos don't appear in magazines. Our weight gain or weight loss is not a source of news for the gossip columns. But we all have our own story – something that is significant to us personally. We're all still of equal importance even if that doesn't equate to equal profile. Ultimately, we're all on a similar journey. It's called life.

      We have our dreams. We have our disappointments. We're full of hope. We also get hurt. We fall. We get back up. We press on. We give up. We wake up happy. We wake up sad. We delight in the company of friends and family. We despair when we feel rejected and alone. Life, at times, seems utterly amazing and at other times appears to make no sense. Our relationships are our biggest source of pleasure and also our biggest source of pain. We sometimes savour the special moments but sleepwalk through the majority of them. We feel we're capable of anything but our doubts are our constant companions. We surprise ourselves. We despair of ourselves.

      So, we may be from different places, different backgrounds and be different ages, but we still have so much in common. It's what we have in common that seems to connect with the readers of this book. Deep down I sensed it would. How could I be so sure?

      Well, I don't just write about the SUMO message. I speak about it too. As I write the preface to this 10th anniversary edition, the number of countries I've shared these ideas in has reached 40. Tens of thousands of people have heard this message. A few have ridiculed both me and my ideas. But most have related to them. My message, I feel humbled to say, has resonated with people across all ages, from all backgrounds and amongst all cultures. Not everyone gets my humour. You'll see why later. But many do connect with some, if not all, of what I'm saying.

      Yet, if you're reading this book for the first time, you're reading it in a world that is vastly different from the world of those who first opened these pages back in 2005. What we now take for granted as very much part of our everyday lives was either in its infancy or did not even exist when this book was first published. On Facebook? Me too. But its creator Mark Zuckerberg only developed it in 2004. In 2005 it was only available to college students in the United States. When SUMO was first published, it's likely only a few people outside of the US had heard of Facebook. Yet today it has so many users that if Facebook was a country it would be the third largest on the planet behind China and India. In 2005 you called people ‘friends' because you actually knew them.

      What about Twitter? I love to tweet (@thesumoguy if you want to connect). Back in 2005 no one had heard of it, let alone used it. Why? Twitter wasn't launched until July 2006.

      What about YouTube? In 2005 the domain name was secured, but no videos were uploaded until later in the year. It wasn't launched in the UK until my wife's birthday, June 19th 2007. To be fair, I don't think my wife's birthday had much to do with the launch, but I so wished I'd filmed her at our romantic meal out near the monkey enclosure at Chester Zoo that day. If I had, you would have been able to witness for yourself the look of joy on her face as we chilled out with the baboons and gorillas while we ate our cheese and pickle sandwiches and consumed several pork pies. (Yes, you've guessed it, I'm from the north of England.)

      The ‘financial crisis' was something people remembered happening back in the 1980s and early 1990s. Few, if any, economists back in 2005 were predicting the financial global meltdown that was to take place three years later.

      In 2005 you probably also used your watch to tell the time, regretted not having your camera to capture a special moment and simply zoned out when conversations became boring. You see, SUMO was first published in a world devoid of iPhones. There were no apps. It was difficult to see photos of what meals your friends had been eating earlier that day. How did we survive? I'm not sure.

      Now, a world of immense possibility to enhance both connection and conflict exists because of such technological development and ideas. It has also multiplied, perhaps a hundredfold, the amount of distractions we now accept as being a normal part of our day-to-day lives. Why reflect when I can tweet? Why converse with the people I'm with when I can connect with ‘friends' I've never met? Why engage with my children when I can place headphones on them and sit them in front of an iPad?

      If