Seven Frozen Sailors. Fenn George Manville

you know, we don’t shiver our timbers in reality; and if we did, we shouldn’t shiver them in the tone of voice the blue-cheeked man shivered his, and I couldn’t resist a broad grin, though I still felt uncomfortable.

      “I’ve no objection, I’m sure,” said I, “if you have none.”

      He was silent for a while, and seemed to be thinking it over, then went on reading and mumbling. Evidently he was a detective. I had met one before once, dressed as a countryman, and talking Brummagem Yorkshire. A detective wanting to get into conversation with a sailor was just likely, I fancied, to start with an out-of-the-way thing like “shiver my timbers.” I made my mind up I wouldn’t be pumped very dry.

      “Been about the world a good deal, sir, I suppose?” he said, returning to the charge after a brief pause. “Been wrecked, I dare say – often?”

      “Pretty often – often enough.”

      “Have you, now?” he said, laying down his book, and leaning back, to have a good look at me as he drew a long breath. “A-h!”

      I went on with my meal, putting the best face I could on it, and pretending not to notice him; but it was not very easy to do this naturally, and at last I dropped my bread and butter, and fixed him, in my turn.

      “You ought to know me in time,” said I.

      “I should be proud to!” he answered, readily. “I should take it as a favour if you’d allow me to make your acquaintance – to become friendly with you!”

      “Well,” said I, still with the detective idea strong on me, “you see, I like to know whom it is I’m making friends with. What port do you hail from, pray?”

      The strange man made a plunge at me, and shook my hand heartily, shaking also the slice of bread and butter I was holding in it.

      “Did you take me for a seafaring man?” he asked, in a joyful voice. “You really don’t mean that? That’s capital!”

      “Well,” said I, “aren’t you?”

      “No,” he answered, in great excitement; “of course not. I’m going to be very shortly, if I’ve any luck, but I’ve not taken to the line yet. See here, sir, that’s who I am.”

      And, so saying, he produced a large illustrated play-bill from his pocket, such as you may find stuck about the walls at the East-end, or on the Surrey side, and on which I read, “The Death Struggle. Enormous success!” in large letters.

      “Oh!” I said; “that’s you, is it?”

      I thought he was, probably, rather cracked.

      But he tapped his finger-end emphatically upon one particular spot, and indicated half a line of very small type, and stooping my head so as to bring my eyes down close to it I made out, “Count Randolph, a gambler and a roué, Mr Jones.”

      When I had read it, he appeared to look at me, expecting that I should say something appropriate, or, at any rate, look awe-stricken. But it was very funny to look at this long-faced, hungry-looking fellow, pitching into his buttered toast, and associate him with the wickedness set down to his account, so “Bless me!” was as much as I could possibly manage.

      “Yes, it is,” said he; “but that’s nothing. It’s a dirty shame of them to put a fellow in that type, and leave his initial out, too! But that’s all jealousy, you know. That’s Barkins, that is! It’s Barkins’s house, and Barkins’s bill, and, hang it! it’s all Barkins’s!”

      On referring a second time to the picture-bill, there, sure enough, I found the name of Barkins flourishing in all sorts of type and in all manner of places.

      “Ah!” cried Mr Jones, finishing his coffee with one gulp, “it won’t always be so, that’s one comfort! I’ve a chance here, sir, – one of a thousand; and you’ll see then whether I’m equal to it or not!”

      “I’m sure you will be,” I replied, not exactly knowing what else to say. “You find your business rather hard work sometimes, don’t you? and the pay sometimes a little doubtful?” I added, after a pause.

      “I wish it was only a little,” Mr Jones replied, with a woeful grin; “but I get along, somehow – I keep alive, somehow; and it won’t always be so – not when I get my chance, you know!”

      I really thought I ought to say something now, so I asked when he expected the chance, and what it was.

      “Ah, that’s it!” said he. “Do you know you could be a good deal of service to me, if you’d the time?”

      “I’ve more time than money, worse luck!” I said. “I should be glad to earn a trifle anyhow, and should be much obliged if you could point out the how; but as to being of service to you, I’d gladly be that for nothing.”

      You see, I had taken a good look at Mr Jones’s ragged edges and glazed elbows by this time, and had come to the conclusion that, even gambler and roué as he was, he must have had about as much as he could do to look after himself.

      I was mistaken. Mr Jones had influence, though he might be short of cash.

      “If you’re really hard up,” he said, “I can put you onto a kind of job – if you like it. They are doing ‘The Battle of Blenheim’ at our place. It’ll be eighteenpence a night. You’ll have to double the armies, and be shot down at the end of every act. But it’s all easy enough.”

      I thought this would suit me very well for the time, and most likely shooting down wasn’t permanently injurious to the system any more than being a gambler and a roué; so I thanked him very much.

      “But how can I help you in return?” I asked.

      “Well, it’s to that chance I spoke of,” he said, confidentially. “Look here – I’ve an engagement for a tour down to the Midland counties. The pay isn’t very wonderful, to start with; but I’m to have more if we do good business, you know; and I’ve stipulated that we do a nautical drama, and I play Jack Brine– that’s the sailor hero, you know – myself.”

      “What makes you want to play a sailor? I suppose you’ve done it before, and made a hit?”

      “Well – no; I can’t say I’ve ever tried it. But nautical pieces used to be a tremendous go once, and are so still down in some parts of the country, and – There! I’ve got it in me, I’m certain – I feel it here!”

      And he tapped the breast of a dilapidated sham sealskin waistcoat as he spoke, and knit his brows with determination.

      “But you haven’t told me yet how I can be of service to you,” said I.

      “Well,” he said, “look here! This is one of the acts of the piece I’m going to do. I’ve done it myself – faked it up, you know, pulling in the best bits from one or two others; but that’s nothing – and it’ll go immense! It’s cram-full of business, and the situations are tremendous!”

      “It ought to go, if that’s the case.”

      “It’s a certainty, dear boy! It can’t help it! But there’s just one thing about it, do you know, that makes me uncomfortable, and that’s where you can help me.”

      “And that is – ”

      “You see, I’m not a nautical man myself. It was very odd of you to take me for one right off! Of course, I can put it on pretty well when I like; but if you want the real honest truth, I never even saw the sea in all my life – never been nearer to it than Rosherville; and as I don’t happen to be personally acquainted with any nautical men, the fact is I’m not quite certain there is not a screw loose up and down in the words. Of course I’m all right in the shiver my timbers and douse my pig-tails parts; but it’s when you get reefing your jib-boom and hugging the shore with your lee-scupper that you don’t feel altogether as if you’d got your sea-legs on. Look here, I’d like to go through the thing with you quietly, and you can tell me where it isn’t quite right.”

      I gladly agreed to render him all the assistance in my power.