Conflicts in the family. Юрий Белк

yet adults, not only because they do not work, but also cognitive abilities, that is, mental abilities, are different. They think differently, and it is not easy for them to survive in an adult environment where the laws of adults, invented by adults, apply, sometimes it is simply dangerous.

      Finding children who have run away from their families is always accompanied by great emotions and risks, and this problem must be solved immediately.

      In addition to relatives, the book includes one chapter that relates to conflict with friends. This is a rather difficult problem, which is also complicated by the fact that we sometimes treat friends differently, not like strangers, but, if not quite to our own, but close to it. Such conflicts are specific and always require a special approach.

      We will also look at the main reasons, which are almost always the same when conflicts arise. Man, despite the complexity of his structure and the structure of the psyche, he is primitive, he has not changed for thousands of years, and those issues that have worried him for a long time are still worrying now.

      You can read ancient dialogues that have been preserved, ancient history concerning human relationships, and more thoroughly study the fiction of the Middle Ages and the beginning of the nineteenth century in Russia, which is closer and more understandable for us. It will become clear that all the vices that modern society has, they existed even then. Of course, you need to read between the lines and understand the structure of communication, but regardless of the development of technology, a person does not change. We may even be worse off than we originally intended.

      The emergence of new technologies does not change a person, they change the ways of communication, but internally people are the same as in the time of King Solomon or the times of other civilizations, about the existence of which we do not know what we can know, but do not know at all.

      Man and humanity itself emerged much earlier than they begin to study in schools, starting with the study of Ancient Egypt, which represents a rather short time, compared to the total amount of time of human development.

      These comments are important to understand how we will view conflicts, including conflicts in families and conflicts with relatives.

      Labor and political conflicts will not be considered here, but, if only in passing, superficially. Because completely isolating the family from society is impossible in principle, it is simply impossible. Society affects the family, the family affects the person, but sometimes the person also affects the family, which subsequently affects society. The sequence can be different, and in different combinations and intensities.

      People are waiting for paradise, but the presence of conflicts prevents them from feeling it during their lifetime. At the heart of any other conflict is an interpersonal conflict, and it pulls the train of all others. We will repeatedly address the main cause of all conflicts – these are different views on the world, on the world in the understanding of the universe.

      The solution to many conflicts is to come to a common denominator, as in arithmetic. If it happens there automatically, at the level of clearly derived algorithms, it does not work with a person, a person is too complex a being, almost inexplicable.

      If we start studying the workings of the brain, we will encounter a big problem when in reality we do not know how the human brain works and how human consciousness is created. If we can't say this for sure even with the current development of technology, then the interval of variations, that is, the interval of predestination of human actions, becomes quite large.

      This is when one small change in a person's mood can affect his fate so much that the most powerful circumstances could not affect it.

      The problem with a large number of conflicts is that people change, get an education, become sufficiently educated specialists, but for the household they will always remain conditionally "Kolenka" or "Olechka", and his opinion will have weight according to his age in his eyes, when he was 15 or 17 years old.

      A large number of children leave home after finishing school, study, get a job, reach big bosses, but at home they are remembered for their parents and even brothers, as at the age of seventeen he fell off the fence on New Year's Day, for example.

      They do not see his intellectual growth and development of intelligence, and, of course, there will be misunderstanding, and various logical arguments of the son based on scientific research will not be taken seriously.

      Such a problem exists not only at the level of the family, but also at the level of the state, when they say that "there is no prophet in his Homeland." Do not treat your own people so respectfully, and the opinion of a stranger will always be higher. Where this came from, we can roughly assume, but the book is not about this now, we will just try to understand the problem, the causes of conflicts between relatives. Problems need to be reprimanded, hushed up and pretend that they do not exist, not the smartest idea.

      Conflicts in the family

      Society is changing, the family is changing, conflicts are changing, and methods of resolving conflicts in families are changing. Changing one subject or object of conflict or the conflict environment changes the algorithms and scenarios of possible further development of the conflict.

      The most dangerous conflicts are when people do not shout, do not quarrel, but hold a grudge. This may be accompanied at some inopportune moment by so many problems that the participants in a possible conflict do not even know about it.

      With regard to conflicts in the family, in particular, we will consider civil marriages in approximately the same way, when a guy and a girl live and run a joint household. If they don't live together, then they are just friends, because true love is experienced when living together.

      Conflicts between a guy and a girl when they do not live together, we have included in a separate chapter, so it is necessary.

      The form of relationships in modern families is so diverse that it is probably almost impossible to classify them all. Because conflicts in families at a distance, when a husband and wife do not see each other for work or other reasons for a long time, but at the same time love each other sincerely, proceed in a completely different way.

      Sunday popes have become such an all-encompassing phenomenon that it is already becoming scary in terms of the scale of tragedies. I stand for a strong family, for a large number of children, preferably three or more. Of course, everyone decides for themselves what to do. This is such a complex topic, and it is strictly individual. This is the ideal model that everyone should strive for.

      But in most cases, any conflict is a normal psychoemotional state of a person. At the same time, thought processes, critical thinking, and so on change. No conflict can make a person more intelligent than he was before, conflict can only blind him. We will not refer to this case the phrase that the conflict opened my eyes. This is already after the fact, and not at all about it.

      Any conflict has a cause, something that starts it all. Sometimes the cause of the conflict is ephemeral, it seems that three years ago someone looked at another obliquely or looked at her. Resentment can increase, gain destructive power, and at some point destroy everything.

      Therefore, to resolve a conflict, you always need to look for the cause. You can't cure a person if you don't know the diagnosis.

      Husband (bad)

      In this case, we will move away from the fact that the wife is sane, the husband is insane. A stressful situation that occurs during a conflict with your husband can only blind you, make you make the wrong decision, which most often happens.

      The conflict between husband and wife is the most dangerous, because passion and money are often involved. This infernal mixture is capable of destroying everything, and it does. Passion and money can ruin the life of anyone, even two loving hearts.

      Next, we'll go through the list.

      Cheating husband

      Cheating on a husband for a wife is a different factor for every woman, because male infidelity and female infidelity are different from the point of view of physiology, but from a moral point of view it is equally shameful.

      It is necessary to understand why the man went to the left, as they