My 20+ Years In America. Tatiana Shymanova

was in 10^th grade and had her first dream that did not just vanish with the morning sun. It stayed in her mind, surprisingly even coming true the next day.

      Tonya had dreamt that as she arrived at school, her classmate Oleg ran in and excitedly shouted, “Guys, let’s go to physics class – it’s starting now!” Since Tonya was always busy practicing her beloved piano, she habitually put off working on academics and relied on all the breaks between classes to do the work she had neglected to do the night before. So when Oleg said this, Tonya felt her heart drop, knowing she had not even begun the complicated physics problems that she had expected to do during the breaks between classes. But somehow she had felt great relief in her dream, knowing that she would receive full credit.

      Tonya awoke with a feeling of worry, because this situation was all too realistic. Getting dressed for school, Tonya remembered that once again she had not even given her homework a second glance. She was hoping for the break time before 5^th period physics to do her work. Yet as she arrived to her first class, she experienced a strong sense of déjà vu. The same classmate Oleg ran in, yelling in the same tone, and verbatim shouted, “Guys, let’s go to physics class – it’s starting now!” Tonya was extremely shocked. She turned to her girlfriends and exclaimed, “I saw this very situation in my dream last night, and I received full credit!” They laughed and said, “Well you’d better expect an F!” When the class began, the teacher asked the students, “Who completed their homework?” When his question was met with silence, he looked at his grade book and called out Tonya’s name to do a problem on the board. She quickly looked at her homework assignment and somehow knew exactly how to complete it. She confidently went up to the board, wrote out the solution, and returned to her desk, receiving full credit. Smugly, she looked over at her disbelieving girlfriends and smiled, making an A with her fingers.

      So Tonya took her mother’s dream seriously. Indeed, she had had her own portentous dream about her mother three years earlier, when she was about to leave home for college for the first time. In her dream she had seen her father beat her mother with a rope and then leave her there, lying on a rag on fresh black soil, all alone and naked. When Tonya awoke, it was such a bizarre feeling, but the dream stayed clear in her mind, and she thought about it for the rest of the day. She had an ominous feeling about it. Across the street from their home lived an elderly woman who was known for her gift of dream interpretation. When she asked the old woman to explain the meaning of her dream, she told her that the dream meant that her mother would be the first to die.

      Trying to avoid these thoughts, Tonya steered the topic of conversation with her mother away from death, and the conversation turned once again to the issue of money. Normally Tonya would sit quietly, allow her mother to say her piece, and attempt to quietly defend herself, but she had experienced far too much bad news in the past day and had reached her boiling point. Whenever she came home, her conversations with her mother were always about money, and it seemed to her that her mother cared more about money than about their relationship. This time was the last straw. It was the last time that she would come home, because in her mind she had no home and she had no mother.

      The train was to depart at midnight, so Tonya packed a few things in her bag and left the house at 11:00 p.m. Her parents were already in bed. It was not safe to walk alone at night, but from early childhood Tonya had learned to be wary of strangers rather than being afraid of the dark corners in the room. Her developed sixth sense kept her safe through her childhood and into her youth. Tonya’s mother had heard her when she left, and, along with her father, followed her. Tonya noticed her parents only at the train station. Her mother tried to give her some money, but Tonya refused to take it. Her mother’s swollen, red eyes glistened in the moonlight, but Tonya was defiant and left anyway, vowing in her heart to never return… Her mother died two weeks later from an aneurysm of the aorta.

* * *

      When Frola passed away, Tonya’s father became lost and helpless, but the women around town were very anxious about his widowed status. Tonya recalled one particular afternoon when two women came to their house and asked if Stepan was home. Tonya answered that he would soon return from work and asked them to wait for him. She then prepared a light snack and tea for them. When Stepan came, he showed the same hospitality as Tonya, and they talked and walked around the house.

      When they left, Stepan asked Tonya, “Who were they?”

      Tonya was surprised, as she thought they were her father’s acquaintances. Her father answered that this was his first time seeing them.

      Very soon, one woman from their neighborhood took a close interest in him. Tonya wanted him to be happy and not to spend the rest of his days alone. She doubted that her mother had been capable of making him happy, so she approved of his decision to be remarried…

* * *

      Tonya noticed at the last moment that she had nearly missed her exit and took a sharp turn to the right onto exit 41 B. After the exit, there was still a ten- to fifteen-minute drive to the nursing home, depending on the traffic and lights. She had driven there almost every day for the past 2 years working as a private nursing assistant for John Leberman.

      Tonya parked her car and rushed into the nursing home. In the hallway close to the main entrance she met the same people as always, sitting there every morning from the time they awoke. Some of them were waiting for their children to arrive, others observing the new arrivals out of curiosity. Tonya took the elevator to the second floor and entered John’s room.

      “Oh, thank God you are here! Why are you so late?”

      He was anxious, and the nurse who was with him said, “Ok, John, now you are all set” and left the room.

      “John, why did you say I am late? It is still five minutes before seven,” Tonya asked him.

      John looked at Tonya with a guilty smile and said, “But you should come earlier.”

      Tonya understood that if he could, he would never let her leave his room, day or night.

      Tonya had worked as a nursing assistant at the VNA and hospice agencies for three years before she went to work privately. She was given the most difficult cases because of her reputation of being able to handle every situation and to get along with every one of her patients and their families.

      Her co-workers would come once and leave if the patient was too difficult to deal with, but Tonya was always able to win them over. John Leberman proved to be the most difficult and toughest task for her. But it had been a long journey that had brought Tonya to America and her job with John.

      Chapter 2

      Tonya got off the bus at the Kiev train station and looked around for a free bench where she could finally rest peacefully. She was exhausted from being on her feet all day, standing in line waiting at the American embassy and then again on the bus, which was filled to capacity with travelers.

      This was the third time she had come to Kiev to try to purchase tickets to America. Tonya had barely scraped together enough money for two round-trip tickets. She had enough for herself and for her younger son, Vlad, who was 15 years old. She desperately wanted to bring her 19-year-old son, Dan, along as well, but his ticket would have been impossible to pay for. The price of the tickets was raised on a daily basis, often just as Tonya arrived at the station. Each time she would call in advance before she left for Kiev to inquire about the price of the tickets, but she was always given one price over the phone and a different price once she reached the station. Every time this happened, she was forced to return home in order to borrow additional money for the trip.

      After this scenario had occurred twice, Tonya was about to admit defeat and return home when she miraculously met a teller who was willing to make a deal with her. The teller studied Tonya intently, wondering if she could trust her to deliver a letter. Her eyes bore the tired look of perseverance and desperation, but there was an immediate recognition of genuine kindness. She ultimately decided that Tonya was trustworthy, and they decided to help each other. The teller agreed that she would keep the ticket price the same for Tonya if Tonya