Philosophy of Women's Love. Peculiarities of women's emotional perception. Nadezhda Ushakova

then the relationship grows into a lasting love union.

      Why is it that while we are married, we often have an affair on the side and still condemn extramarital affairs? If one partner has such an affair, the other unwittingly becomes a victim or «guilty», believing that he has the right to behave defiantly and be possessive. In the aftermath, all of this turns out not to be a continuation of the relationship, but a common pursuit. Being faithful and claiming an obligation to be faithful are fundamentally different.

      Constructive solutions are only possible through love.

      Some people handle relationships lightly and easily, ready to end them at any time without guilt or pain. In that case, you should not expect someone else to treat you better. When we enter into a love relationship, we take upon ourselves a responsibility equal to that of our partner. And if you have to break up one day, you have to have the courage to break up with dignity.

      The category of being

      It was a warm autumn morning. The bright sun played on the stunted leaves, trying to give them a second youth. The sun’s rays were tentatively hiding behind the clouds. In the deserted courtyard sat a couple. They looked very young: a girl and a young man. The autumn wind fluttered their hair and clothes, reaching to the very depths of their souls, which sought escape, squirming with cold. The girl stared intently into her boyfriend’s eyes. Her heart was bursting with pain. Her whole being was ready to burst into tears, thinking that such eyes could not betray.

      The man’s gaze was as cold as a frowning autumn sky, indifference turned into confidence. The girl suddenly understood everything: «Lord,» whispered an inner voice, as if from outside, «help me to bear it. How can you talk about love, unity of body and soul, and yet sleep with another?»

      For the first time came the realization that no one would help here, not even my mother. Time cannot be planned, cannot be foreseen. It cannot be measured – it can only be experienced by the soul, physically felt by the body. It turns out that time is very material, it is your circular shell, it runs in a circle, fitting into a single concept – life.

      They were sitting on a children’s swing, sitting and silent, such two grown-up children. Children in essence, outwardly adults, for the first time given freedom in everything, unable to sort out and protect their feelings. A heady taste of permissiveness came over them.

      – I’ll walk you out,» said a man’s voice, as if cut off.

      – That’s it,» she thought, and, hesitating, she walked slowly down the sidewalk. It was still hard for her to understand what had really happened, much less take it to heart. The first partings, the first feelings, the first seeming love…

      There were children running and laughing around, birds chirping, the world lived its own incomprehensible life, only childhood remained somewhere behind, forgetting to write a return ticket. The category of being confused concepts: growing up and childhood, love and dependence, responsibility and freedom. Independent life was still just beginning, having read all the children’s fairy tales.

      The realization of one’s adulthood often comes from the feeling «that I can do anything» and rarely from the realization «that I can do anything.» The difference is essential in the concepts of «can» and «can», it is the ratio of rights and responsibilities or the ability to take and give. If such values are violated, the relationship between partners will never be harmonious and long-lasting. As adults, we often think that we can change the other person with our love, but it turns out that we ourselves are changing, because love is not enough, it just melts like snow.

      Love in advance

      When we are young, we are often interested in bad personalities, the good ones seem boring, too right or whatever. We don’t notice what is given from above, but we desire and crave the impossible or unconventional, the explosion of emotions and passions, even of any quality. We can ask ourselves endlessly, «Why do girls love bad boys?» The answer is, «Probably because they are lively, unpredictable and interesting,» except that this interest sometimes turns out to be tragedy or an irreparable mistake.

      Marina was young and beautiful, as they say «ripe peach», she looked at her men, she was the envy of many peers, and her father – a real colonel. Marina walked dressed up doll, it would seem – live and enjoy it, but you want the spice of life, a taste of adrenaline and problems. She was lazy and uninterested in studying, although she was briefly pushed into the institute for a bribe, she did not want to work either, she wanted to have fun, fall in love, relax…

      But here fate was not going to hurt Marina, gave her a handsome, intelligent guy who fell in love with her whole-heartedly. Andrew met his girlfriend with flowers almost every day, people talked about them «beautiful couple», it would seem – what more do you need? So almost a year passed. Andrew was called into the army, seeing him off was sad with a long goodbye and an oath, with a promise to wait and love each other. In honor of such a sad event, Marina planted a flower in a pot as a sign of parting and devotion, the bigger the flower, the closer the meeting will be. Andrew went to serve and began writing to his girlfriend almost every day, but Marina was only enough for two months. She answered her letters less and less frequently, and then she stopped writing altogether, not that she didn’t want to. She met another prominent guy who had just returned from the border guards, and that’s how it all began. The flower gradually wilted, and with it the memory of Andrew.

      A brave soldier named Sasha wanted to embrace the immensity, have time for everything, and enjoy the pleasures of life. With an addiction to alcohol and noisy entertainment, as well as an alcoholic father, Marina’s new friend decided after all the hard work of the army to have a good rest, and the girl was not bored with him. Every night she began with a call from Sasha at the entertainment center, asking her to pick him up or pay off her debt for the booze. She would drop everything, go to him, literally drag him out of the cafe or restaurant, bring him home, followed by unrestrained sex and a lot of emotions, passion, and clarification of relations. Marina was glad that with him she could afford everything: smoke, swear, walk naked, even go out on the balcony like that, have all kinds of sex you can think of, and not think about anything. It seemed like happiness: to live, to enjoy life, to absorb pleasure and to dissolve in it. But, as you know, viciousness does not lead to good: unexpectedly there was a pregnancy, about which Marina learned too late. If her parents only knew in what state was conceived their future grandson! At first they thought it was love – another whim of their daughter, until the consequences began to show. It was time to meet Sasha’s parents; the unequal relationship was obvious, but nothing could be done. Sasha’s mother was a laborer, her father was an alcoholic, and Marina’s father was a colonel, her mother a medical worker. The young people got married, and in four months Marina was due to give birth. What a birth it was… The baby could not be revived for a long time: bluish, breathless, at the very last moment it only began to show signs of life. It was too late to cry, although Marina burst into tears, having felt the maternal instinct for the first time, she scolded herself, cursed in her heart and repented. The baby was born all sick, and the young mother’s milk was not enough. After some time with a restless daughter, parents soon went to the Ukraine, leaving Marina in Siberia in-laws. The father of our heroine received the rank of general.

      After some time began a real nightmare. Family drinkers are not like regular families, there is a different mentality. Drinking father-in-law and drinking husband did not give peace neither Marina, nor the little child. Money was constantly lacking, breast milk is lost completely, the child was fed as they have to. A month later, the baby was covered with allergic crusts (diathesis), was nervous and did not sleep well, screaming for no reason. Marina was on the brink of despair. When strength was no longer available, the young mother began to arrange a «dark» baby, wrapping