Tales of Ghosts. Playing Another Reality. Edgar Allan Poe award. Alexandra Kryuchkova

it wasn’t SHE.

      Now, tell me, do dogs behave like that? Once I became so brutalized that I walked up to my master and bit him. He didn’t understand why, apparently, and got offended…

      I tried to do my best to reconcile them. When my master took me for a walk, I dragged him to her house, and we were wandering under the trees of the courtyard where she had used to come out smiling. I tried to find her by smell, but remember the winds blowing that autumn! Soon the snow started falling, sweeping away the traces of the Past, and winter came. She left us forever. And mind you, without ‘woof-woof’…

      I have never understood human nature, and probably I will never do. But why people, who, unlike dogs, have the gift of speech, are not able to understand themselves and each other just to be happy?

August 1996

      11. Come on!

      I worked at a luxury college as an elementary school teacher. I was twenty-five years old, full of hopes and plans for the future. Life pampered me. I never denied myself anything and got all I wanted. Troubles bypassed me, and I felt happy.

      That college was located not far from the city, at the edge of a beautiful small lake in a pine forest. We accepted children whose parents could pay a substantial tuition fee for a year, carried out according to the usual school curriculum, apart from optional courses and extra-activities, and the children lived there for the whole school year, although parents could, of course, take them home for weekends and holidays. We had very tasty food. The dormitories were furnished as well as luxury rooms of the five-stars hotels, just in various fairy tales design. The pupils used to pass their free time playing, going for walks and generally doing whatever they wanted, since almost nothing was forbidden to them.

      That year I was recruiting the first class, afraid of being unable to communicate with the kids ‘in the same language’. However, I adapted quickly enough, and everything went perfectly. The class turned out to be friendly, the children were talented.

      ***

      Before Christmas, I announced the PTA meeting, after which the parents could take their children home for the holidays. Returning to the teachers’ building in the evening, I noticed a little girl in a squirrel coat who seemed to be waiting for someone. It was Christina from my class.

      “What are you doing here?” I asked.

      “Is my dad coming?”

      “Of course, he is! Go to your room, it’s getting late!”

      “Come on, Alice… Talk to me!” Christina said almost in a whisper, averting her gaze to the side.

      I didn’t know how to react to her words. None of the pupils addressed me like that, and I was about to reprimand the girl, but then, looking into her sad eyes, I changed my mind. Besides, the Christmas atmosphere was already in the air: the blizzard had turned the edge of the forest into a fairy tale, it was still snowing, and the lanterns were winking mysteriously…

      “Go back to your place, Chris!” I repeated, but the girl didn’t move and remained silent, forcing me to add categorically, “I have to go, see you tomorrow!”

      I told a lie, there was no need for me to rush, I just didn’t want to stay alone with her. After walking about ten meters towards the staff building, I heard her voice calling me,

      “Alice! You look like…”

      However, I didn’t turn around…

      ***

      On the eve of the PTA meeting, I planned to take a walk along the lake with my friend, a seventh grade teacher, but she was suddenly called by our chief, and I had to wander alone. As I sat down on the bench, Christina materialized next to me, as if out of nowhere.

      “Why are you alone, Chris?” I asked.

      “I like it this way.”

      “Don’t you like to play with other children?”

      “I don’t.”

      “Why?”

      “I’m not like them.”

      I wanted to ask ‘why’ again, but I said nothing.

      “Come on, Alice… let’s talk,” Christina added quietly.

      “Well-bred girls don’t talk like that to those who are older!”

      “I will talk like that only to you!”

      I saw tears in her eyes, however, I’d been sickened by crybabies since childhood.

      “That’s no way to behave! Join your friends!” I said in a semi-commanding voice.

      Christina got up silently and walked away.

      ***

      I held the PTA meeting successfully enough. When everyone had gone and left me alone in the office, Christina appeared at the door.

      “Haven’t you gone yet?” I asked.

      “Dad hasn’t arrived,” she said sadly.

      “And your mother?”

      The girl shrugged.

      “Will you call home?” I suggested.

      “Come on, Alice…”

      “Oh, these familiarities again!” I thought.

      Christina dialed some phone number and was answered, but she remained silent and hung up.

      “Wrong number?” I supposed.

      Christina silently left the room. I made her come back and called to their house myself. Her grandma answered me. She said that Christina’s dad would definitely come to college in a fortnight, after his business trip. I passed that information on to the girl, but got no response.

      “Why did you hang up?” I asked again.

      Christina got up and silently walked away.

      “Chris!” I shouted, and she didn’t even turn around.

      I got angry and decided to complain about the girl to her father.

      ***

      Two weeks of vacation flew by in a flash, and the kids were back to studies. I must admit, my class was excellent! Only Christina made me feel uncomfortable. Willy-nilly, I saw that strange girl every day. She pierced me with her gaze, I lost my temper and nagged her about little things. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t help it.

      Finally, Christina’s father arrived. He brought her many toys and sweets. The girl didn’t want to let him go.

      “I’ll come back for you in the summer, when your classes are over, and we’ll go to the sea. You love the sea, don’t you?”

      Christina nodded in agreement, and I suddenly imagined her as an adult – she would turn into a beauty and drive a lot of men crazy!

      After the meeting with her father, Christina behaved much better and didn’t approached me during her free time. However, the girl seemed to become even more withdrawn.

      ***

      One day, when we were singing a cheerful (although, to be honest, a very stupid) song at a music lesson, I suddenly noticed that Christina wasn’t singing. As usual, she sat at the last desk alone, but with headphones on…

      “Is she listening to some music?! What a spoiled girl! What does she allow herself! She can do everything she wants, being only eight years old!”

      “Chris!” I yelled in anger, approaching her.

      The girl convulsively clutched something with her small hands.

      “Give