Take a Lesson. Caroline V. Clarke

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Название Take a Lesson
Автор произведения Caroline V. Clarke
Жанр Поиск работы, карьера
Серия
Издательство Поиск работы, карьера
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781119841081



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of my ethnicity, of being Black, of being a pastor's kid, and these things compounded and funneled into my definitely feeling different.

      We couldn't afford coaches; we just had to do it on our own. I studied all year long for an outcome that took maybe 30 seconds, and it was very solitary. But I got comfortable with competing and I got very comfortable with alone time. I still am.

      I competed in 40 spelling bees, winning 32 of them. The ability to win and to lose—and the difference in how that feels and how you need to show up with graciousness in both of those moments—really stuck with me. I definitely learned that winning is better. But I saw the fragility of it all and just how much luck and fate play into things. You start to [also] recognize that you're always onstage in a way.

      It definitely taught me how to cope with pressure. After you've studied the dictionary and spelling lists for five years straight, there's not a lot that fazes you. I used to articulate it as, I've lived a weird life, but it shaped my perspective. And over time, you learn that everybody has lived a weird life.

      In a Christian school, there's a lot of emphasis on respecting your father and mother. I did that, and [throughout most of high school], I thought I would become a pastor as well. But, without going into a whole lot of detail, my dad did not treat my mom with the respect that she deserved, and he didn't always treat me with the respect that I probably should have had as well. It was a multifront problem and I had learned how to triage around it, but, at a certain point—I think it was when I turned 16—I realized that I would not be able to continue down this path. So, on February 11, 2002, the day after I turned 18, I moved out.

      The family of a friend of mine at school learned what I was going through and opened their home to me. Every year on that anniversary, I call the Wiltons and thank them. What a difference they made in my life.

      Why does that matter in my journey? It clarified for me that I was on my own. My mom and dad divorced shortly thereafter. The relationships within our family were irretrievably broken. I understood that everything I would ever have or not have would be up to me, and I'd have to go figure out how to make it work. And so that created a hustle and a strength, because there was no safety net.

      I see my life in paradoxes in many ways. Where it ties together is that I feel a sense of gratitude and good fortune for amazing folks who saw me and invested in me over the course of my journey. And because of all the different pivot points in my life, I'm acutely aware of how differently things could have turned out. I'm also acutely aware that there are other people in similar situations who, for whatever reason, didn't have those folks who came along and invested in them, and the ultimate question then is, “Well, Sam, what are you going to do about it?” That's what drives me.

      I've been very blessed to have folks who've been mentors and who have helped create pathways for me, and I don't really ascribe that to me, I ascribe that to great people who I was fortunate enough to intersect with, who were kind. If certain breaks hadn't gone my way, I wouldn't have even been in a position to go to Taylor [University] or Harvard [Business School]. All these breaks make me feel a sense of responsibility.

      I remember I was at an investment banking recruiting dinner, sitting with a managing director and a classmate. They started talking about this elite New York City day care that they had gone to or were going to send their kids to, and I felt two simultaneous emotions. One, gratitude as I thought, How the heck am I even here, when during my dad's entire life, he never drew a salary of more than $14,000? I also thought, These day cares probably cost more than my dad ever made.

      In parallel, I also felt imposter syndrome. Like, How do I belong here? I already look different. I'm already younger. I'm already from the Midwest. I'm already on my own. I already have these other things that I don't really talk to people about.

      I didn't talk about my identity. I talked about being Black, but I didn't talk about all the nuances that were associated with my journey. I was a private person for many reasons, but one of them was that I didn't really like to unpack that.

      The truth is, I've felt like an imposter in every role I've ever been in, and it incentivizes me to work harder, but it's given me empathy for other folks who are underrepresented or the only or one of the few, in similar contexts. I learned that between the mix of my private‐person‐otherness‐lone‐wolf‐comfort‐what‐have‐you, I face questions at times, like, What makes you tick? And the ironic thing is that the more that I've been blessed to achieve, it only becomes more othering in some regards.

      I applied to Harvard because I realized I knew no one, I had very limited pedigree, and I had no safety net. Even though people were being kind and telling me I had potential, I needed external validation from a brand name.

      She tells the story that I came up to her and said something like, “I want to go to Harvard, but I don't know how. Teach me.” She spent countless hours reviewing my application, reviewing my résumé, giving me tips and tricks, and eventually co‐signing me and blasting my résumé to 40 of her friends, one of whom was the chief research officer at Forrester [Research]. And that's how I ended up going from a Christian college in Fort Wayne, Indiana, loading all my stuff in a rented van, and driving 13 hours to Cambridge, having not really known what Forrester was until that moment she connected me with them.

      While I was at Forrester, HBS connected me with several other African Americans, one of whom was in the school at the time. I remember going to drinks with him and three or four other folks, and having this “aha” moment. Some article had come out about the number of African Americans in corporate America in senior roles, and I remember saying, “If it's not us, who is it going to be? We are the ones who have been privileged enough to be going to this school.”

      Basically, I told my friends at the table, “We don't have the option to settle for a white picket fence. We have to swing for the fences and become captains of industry so that we can break down the doors of opportunity for those who haven't had the lucky breaks we have had.”

      I think it's part of why I've spent most of my career in mission‐oriented companies, whether eBay with its sort of economic empowerment for sellers or Upwork, enabling individuals to build their careers through the platform. What we do in disrupting the old paradigms