Adult Psychotherapy Homework Planner. Arthur E. Jongsma, Jr.

OF THE EXERCISE

      1 Increase awareness of hurtful behavior toward others.

      2 Increase sensitivity toward the impact of hurtful behavior on others.

      3 Indicate the steps that will be taken to make amends or restitution for hurt caused to others.

      4 Offer sincere apology through written letter for how antisocial or irresponsible behavior has negatively affected others.

      ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL

       Anger Control Problems

       Family Conflict

       Intimate Relationship Conflicts

       Legal Conflicts

       Substance Use

      SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT

      Hurtful behavior toward others is easily minimized or denied in terms of who is responsible for it or the impact it has on others. This assignment increases sensitivity toward the impact that hurtful behavior has had on others. In processing the exercise, it is important that the client include all elements of a constructive apology and avoid projection or minimization. Review each letter of apology to make sure it contains all the necessary elements. Evaluate whether the client demonstrates genuine feelings of regret, shame, or guilt. Clearly confront denial and emphasize the negative impact of insensitive behaviors.

EXERCISE 2.B LETTER OF APOLOGY

After we become aware of the pain we have caused someone else through our own unkind behavior, we must try to find a way to heal the hurt and make amends. Many times just saying “I'm sorry” is not enough. It can be helpful if the apology is accompanied by a written note acknowledging causing the pain and suggesting how you could have done things differently. This assignment asks you to describe three incidents in which you have hurt others. It then asks you to construct a brief letter of apology for each of these incidents.

       Three Hurtful Incidents

      Describe for each of three incidents who was hurt, what you did to hurt them, how they felt about what you did, how you feel now about what you did, and how you could have acted more kindly.

      Incident #1:

      Incident #2:

      Incident #3:

       Apology

      Write a letter of apology to each of the people who were hurt in each of the three incidents described (on a separate piece of paper). Include in your letter of apology a description of what you did to hurt them, your perception of how your actions must have affected them, how you feel today about your actions, and what you wished you would have done in the place of your hurtful behavior.

Therapist's Overview THREE ACTS OF KINDNESS

      GOALS OF THE EXERCISE

      1 List three actions that will be performed that will be acts of kindness and thoughtfulness toward others.

      2 Develop and demonstrate a healthy sense of respect for social norms, the rights of others, and a need for honesty.

      3 Demonstrate caring, kindness, and empathy toward other people on a consistent basis.

      ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL

       Anger Control Problems

       Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)—Adult

       Impulse Control Disorder

       Legal Conflicts

       Type A Behavior

      SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT

      As the name implies, the client is instructed to engage in three acts of kindness, caring, or thoughtfulness over the course of a week. The acts of kindness or caring can be spontaneous or planned. The client can perform the acts of kindness with someone they know very well or with a total stranger. The client may also want to “undo” previous harmful or responsible acts by engaging in thoughtful or responsible behaviors with others. (NOTE: The number of altruistic acts can be modified per week.) It is hoped that the client will develop a routine of helping others or engaging in prosocial behaviors on a regular basis. The client is asked to complete a questionnaire on the following page after performing the altruistic act. Keeping a journal of the altruistic acts will allow the client to process experiences with the therapist. Furthermore, the therapist has the opportunity to reinforce the client's kind or thoughtful behaviors.

EXERCISE 2.C THREE ACTS OF KINDNESS

Please record times when you performed an act of kindness for others. Bring the completed questionnaires back to your next therapy session to process with your therapist.

      Date ________________________________

      Setting (e.g., home, workplace, community)

      Recipient(s) of kindness

      What was your specific act of kindness?

      How did you feel about performing the act of kindness?

      How did the other person(s) respond to your act of kindness?

      How did their response make you feel?

      Would you perform this act of kindness again in the future? __________ yes __________ no

      If no, please explain.

      What are three other acts of kindness you can perform in the future?

      (Optional: This question does not have to be answered each time you complete the form.)

SECTION 3 ANXIETY

      Therapist's Overview ANALYZE THE PROBABILITY OF A FEARED EVENT

      GOALS OF THE EXERCISE

      1 Develop an awareness of the irrational nature of the fear and anxiety.

      2 Examine the probability of the negative expectation occurring and its consequences.

      3 Identify distorted self‐talk that mediates the anxiety response.

      4 Recognize that the feared outcome will not terminate the ability to function.

      5 Resolve the core conflict that is the source of the anxiety.

      ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL

       Dependency

       Depression—Unipolar

       Low Self‐Esteem

       Obsessive‐Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

       Phobia

       Social Anxiety

       Suicidal Ideation

      SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT

      Support the client in taking the risk of looking boldly and fairly at the basis for anxiety. Help the client to acknowledge the irrational basis for anxiety