Parson Kelly. Andrew Lang

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       Andrew Lang, Alfred Edward Woodley Mason

      Parson Kelly

      Published by Good Press, 2020

       [email protected]

      EAN 4064066401764

Table of Contents

       The Parson expresses Irreproachable Sentiments at the Mazarin Palace.

       Mr. Wogan refuses to Acknowledge an Undesirable Acquaintance in St. James's Street.

       Mr. Wogan instructs the Ignorant Parson in the Ways of Women.

       Shows the Extreme Danger of knowing Latin.

       A Literary Discussion in which a Critic, not for the first time, turns the tables upon an Author.

       Mr. Nicholas Wogan reminds the Parson of a Night at the Mazarin Palace.

       Lady Mary Wortley Montagu has a word to say about Smilinda.

       Mr. Kelly has an Adventure at a Masquerade Ball.

       Wherein the Chivalrous Mr. Kelly behaves with Deplorable Folly.

       What came of Mr. Kelly's Winnings from the South Sea.

       The Parson departs from Smilinda and learns a number of Unpalatable Truths.

       The Parson meets Scrope for the Third Time, and what came of the Meeting.

       Of the Rose and the Rose-Garden in Avignon.

       Of the Great Confusion produced by a Ballad and a Drunken Crow.

       At the Deanery of Westminster.

       Mr. Wogan acts as Lightning Conductor at Lady Oxford's Rout.

       Lady Oxford's 'Coup De Théâtre'.

       Wherein a New Fly discourses on the innocence of the Spider's Web.

       Stroke and Counter-stroke.

       Mr. Scrope bathes by Moonlight and in his Peruke.

       In which Mr. Kelly surprises Smilinda.

       An Eclogue which demonstrates the Pastoral Simplicity of Corydon and Strephon.

       How the Messengers captured the wrong Gentleman; and of what Letters the Colonel burned.

       Mr. Wogan wears Lady Oxford's Livery, but does not remain in her Service.

       How the Miniature of Lady Oxford came by a Mischance.

       Mr. Wogan Traduces his Friend, with the Happiest Consequences.

       How, by keeping Parole, Mr. Kelly broke Prison.

       Mr. Wogan again invades England, meets the elect Lady, and bears witness to her Perfections.

      CHAPTER I

      THE PARSON EXPRESSES IRREPROACHABLE SENTIMENTS AT THE MAZARIN PALACE

       Table of Contents

      "What mighty quarrels rise from trivial things!"

      SO wrote Mr. Alexander Pope, whom Nicholas Wogan remembers as a bookish boy in the little Catholic colony of Windsor Forest. The line might serve as a motto for the story which Mr. Wogan (now a one-armed retired colonel of Dillon's Irish Brigade in French Service) is about to tell. The beginnings of our whole mischancy business were trivial in themselves, and in all appearance unrelated to the future. They were nothing more important than the purchase of a couple of small strong-boxes and the placing of Parson Kelly's patrimony in Mr. Law's company of the West. Both of these events happened upon the same day.

      It was early in February of the year 1719, and the streets of Paris were deep in snow. Wogan, then plotting for King James's cause, rode into Paris from St. Omer at ten o'clock of the forenoon, and just about the same hour Parson Kelly, plotting too in his way, drove through the Orleans gate.

      A few hours later the two men met in the Marais, or rather Nicholas Wogan saw the skirts of Kelly's coat vanishing into an ironmonger's shop, and ran in after him. Kelly was standing by the counter with a lady on either side of him, as was the dear man's wont; though their neighbourhood on this occasion was the merest accident, for the Parson knew neither of them.

      'Sure it's my little friend the lace merchant,' said Wogan, and clapped his hand pretty hard on the small of his friend's back, whom he had not seen for a twelvemonth and more. Kelly stumbled a trifle, maybe, and no doubt he coughed and spluttered. One of the ladies dropped her purse and shuddered into a corner.

      'Quelle bête sauvage!' murmured the second with one indignant eye upon Nicholas Wogan, and the other swimming with pity for Mr. Kelly.

      'Madame,' said Wogan, picking up the purse and restoring it with his most elegant bow, 'it was pure affection.'

      'No doubt,' said Kelly, as he rubbed his shoulder; 'but, Nick, did you never hear of the bear that smashed his master's skull in the endeavour to stroke off a fly that had settled on his nose? That was pure affection too.'

      He turned back to the counter, on which the shopman was setting out a number of small strong-boxes, and began to examine them.

      'Well, you must e'en blame yourself, George,' said Nick, 'for the mere sight of you brings the smell of the peat to my nostrils and lends vigour to my hand.'

      This he said with all sincerity, for the pair had been friends in county