Hard to Swallow. Mark Wheeller

on>

      

      First published 1991 by Cambridge University Press (reprinted five times between then and 1999). ISBN 0521399377

      A revised edition was first published by dbda in 2000; Reprinted in January 2003 and November 2003; Further revised edition published in March 2006 and reprinted in March 2008 by Zinc Communicate ISBN 978 1 9028 4308 7

      This edition first published in 2020 by Salamander Street Ltd.,

      272 Bath Street, Glasgow, G2 4JR ([email protected])

      Hard to Swallow © Mark Wheeller and Maureen Dunbar, 1991

      Photograph appears with kind permission of Maureen Dunbar’s family.

      All rights reserved.

      All rights whatsoever in this play are strictly reserved and application for performance etc. should be made before rehearsal to MBA Literary Agents Ltd, 62 Grafton Way, London W1T 5DW (attn: Sophie Gorell Barnes).

      No performance may be given unless a license has been obtained.

      You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or binding or by any means (print, electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

      PB ISBN: 9781913630249

      E ISBN: 9781913630256

      Cover and text design by Konstantinos Vasdekis

      Printed and bound in Great Britain

      10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

      Further copies of this publication can be purchased from

       www.salamanderstreet.com

      CONTENTS

       Introduction by Maureen Dunbar (2000)

       Introduction for the original 1990 CUP publication

       Introduction for the revised 2000 dbda edition

       Introduction for the 2020 Salamander Street Edition

       A Reflection on the Touring Production by TiE It Up Theatre

       Ann’s Story

       A Note from Anna Smith

       Hard to Swallow

       Crossing the Bridge

       Hunchback, believed to be by Catherine Dunbar

      Acknowledgements

      Maureen Dunbar for support, guidance and advice.

      John, Richard, Simon, Catherine (diaries), Anna Smith and Maureen Dunbar for permission to use their words.

      Dr Tony Saunders for his medical expertise.

      Sophie Gorell Barnes and MBA Literary Agents for their continued interest in my work.

      Thanks to George Spender and those in the Salamander Street team for their efforts to extend the reach of my plays.

      The writing team for the very first working script, then entitled Catherine was: Donna Batt, Martin Blackman, Sarah Blackman, Richard Brown, Paula Curtis, Jason Eames, Debbie Giles, Deanne McAteer, Kate Noss, Abigail Penny, Gary Richards, Kalwant Singh, Andrew Stott, Sharon Tanner, Chris Vaudin.

      Introduction by Maureen Dunbar (2000)

      My first meeting with Mark Wheeller was at the Oaklands Community School in Southampton. The reason for my visit was to decide whether or not to place my trust in him and allow him to write a play based on my book Catherine, the story of my daughter’s fight with anorexia nervosa. No one, I thought, could convey the torment and agony of those seven years of illness.

      Talking to Mark, I knew instinctively that here was a man I could say a total “Yes” to, I knew I would trust him implicitly. I could see too, how his young drama group drew inspiration from their gifted teacher.

      I have followed the progress of Hard to Swallow from its earliest beginnings. I have never failed to be moved by the sensitive performances and also by the certain knowledge that Catherine’s story has helped so many people and opened channels that did not exist before her death.

      People have asked me whether I found putting pen to paper to be therapeutic – I can only say no, I did not. It was agonising. Agonising because I could see all the mistakes, the terrible mess, much more clearly in hindsight – the mistakes of doctors and my own mistakes in particular. The frustration, anger and despair that I felt many times during Catherine’s illness were magnified in me as I wrote. The whole exercise was extremely painful. I wrote the book in tears.

      For me the burden of grief was enormous because of the additional suffering I had caused Catherine by insisting on many occasions that she should go into hospital for treatment. When she first became ill, I had never heard of anorexia, neither had Catherine. Nobody I knew had heard of it either. During the seven long years of Catherine’s illness I was always expecting doctors to come up with an answer, no one really explained what was happening to her, no one recommended books for me to read, and family counselling was never suggested. Only in writing about Catherine, after her death, did I see how wrong the treatment had been for her. How naive I had been in expecting an answer – where there was no answer. While she was alive, I was so busy trying to help, support and understand Catherine, trying to get help and treatment for her, that I was unable to stand back, try to appraise the situation and be objective.

      All of these things I understood as I wrote – IN HINDSIGHT. The picture in my mind was of one huge tragic mess. The pain and grief I felt as I wrote was inexpressible. But, gradually, as I continued to put my feelings on paper, I also saw more clearly how things might have been different had I known more and also had I followed my own heart. This only added to my guilt. These thoughts and feelings, I believe, were in the deep recesses of my mind but because I had been so desperate in my search for an answer to Catherine’s illness, I had never allowed them to surface – only in writing was this able to happen.

      Simon, my eldest son, by encouraging me to write Catherine’s story, gave me a very positive thing to do, though an extremely difficult, emotional and agonising one. Catherine’s wish was that her life and death should help others. The fruits of the book have been tremendous. Many parents have written to me and said how much better they understand their children who have this frightful illness. Anorexics have told me how much more aware they are of their families’ suffering. Professionals have said they have learnt what not to do. One person wrote “Catherine has disturbed the waters of our lives and made us look into the integrity of our relationships”. So the book, which I initially believed could not help anyone because Catherine’s was not a success story, has helped hundreds of people. Most especially, it has helped many to come to terms with their illness and removed guilt when they do not have the power to change. It has sometimes acted as a jolt to some with