The Return of the Shadow. Christopher Tolkien

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Название The Return of the Shadow
Автор произведения Christopher Tolkien
Жанр Ужасы и Мистика
Серия The History of Middle-earth
Издательство Ужасы и Мистика
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9780007348237



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were not forgotten. There had been a feud between them and Mr Bilbo Baggins, as some of you may remember. But so splendid was the invitation-card, all written in gold, that they were induced to accept; besides, their cousin had been specializing in good food for a long time, and his tables had a high reputation even in that time and country when food was still what it ought to be and abundant enough for all folk to practise on.

      Everyone expected a pleasant feast; though they rather dreaded the after-dinner speech of their host. He was liable to drag in bits of what he called poetry, and even to allude, after a glass or two, to the absurd adventures he said he had had long ago during his ridiculous vanishment. They had a very pleasant feast: indeed an engrossing entertainment. The purchase of provisions fell almost to zero throughout the whole shire during the ensuing week; but as Mr Baggins’ catering had emptied all the stores, cellars and warehouses for miles around, that did not matter. Then came the speech. Most of the assembled hobbits were now in a tolerant mood, and their former fears were forgotten. They were prepared to listen to anything, and to cheer at every full stop. But they were not prepared to be startled. But they were – completely and unprecedentedly startled; some even had indigestion.

      ‘My dear people,’ began Mr Baggins. ‘Hear, hear!’ they replied in chorus. ‘My dear Bagginses,’ he went on, standing now on his chair, so that the light of the lanterns that illuminated the enormous pavilion flashed upon the gold buttons of his embroidered waistcoat for all to see. ‘And my dear Tooks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burroweses, and Boffinses, and Proudfoots.’2 ‘Proudfeet’ shouted an elderly hobbit from the back. His name of course was Proudfoot, and merited; his feet were large, exceptionally furry, and both were on the table. ‘Also my dear Sackville-Bagginses that I welcome back at last to Bag-end,’ Bilbo continued. ‘Today is my seventieth birthday.’ ‘Hurray hurray and many happy returns!’ they shouted. That was the sort of stuff they liked: short, obvious, uncontroversial.

      ‘I hope you are all enjoying yourselves as much as I am.’ Deafening cheers, cries of yes (and no), and noises of trumpets and whistles. There were a great many junior hobbits present, as hobbits were indulgent to their children, especially if there was a chance of an extra meal. Hundreds of musical crackers had been pulled. Most of them were labelled ‘Made in Dale’. What that meant only Bilbo and a few of his Took-nephews knew; but they were very marvellous crackers. ‘I have called you all together,’ Bilbo went on when the last cheer died away, and something in his voice made a few of the Tooks prick up their ears. ‘First of all to tell you that I am immensely fond of you, and that seventy years is too short a time to live among such excellent and charming hobbits’ – ‘hear hear!’ ‘I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and less than half of you half as well as you deserve.’ No cheers, a few claps – most of them were trying to work it out. ‘Secondly to celebrate my birthday and the twentieth year of my return’ – an uncomfortable rustle. ‘Lastly to make an Announcement.’ He said this very loud and everybody sat up who could. ‘Goodbye! I am going away after dinner. Also I am going to get married.’

      He sat down. The silence was flabbergastation. It was broken only by Mr Proudfoot, who kicked over the table; Mrs Proudfoot choked in the middle of a drink.

      That’s that. It merely serves to explain that Bilbo Baggins got married and had many children, because I am going to tell you a story about one of his descendants, and if you had only read his memoirs up to the date of Balin’s visit – ten years at least before this birthday party – you might have been puzzled.3

      There, I suppose it has become all too plain. The fact is, in spite of his after-dinner speech, he had grown suddenly very tired of them all. The Tookishness (not of course that all Tooks ever had much of this wayward quality) had quite suddenly and uncomfortably come to life again. Also another secret – after he had blowed his last fifty ducats on the party he had not got any money or jewelry left, except the ring, and the gold buttons on his waistcoat. He had spent it all in twenty years (even the proceeds of his beautiful …. which he had sold a few years back).6

      Then how could he get married? He was not going to just then – he merely said ‘I am going to get married’. I cannot quite say why. It came suddenly into his head. Also he thought it was an event that might occur in the future – if he travelled again amongst other folk, or found a more rare and more beautiful race of hobbits somewhere. Also it was a kind of explanation. Hobbits had a curious habit in their weddings. They kept it (always officially and very often actually) a dead secret for years