Sam and Ilsa's Last Hurrah. Rachel Cohn
Читать онлайн.| Название | Sam and Ilsa's Last Hurrah |
|---|---|
| Автор произведения | Rachel Cohn |
| Жанр | Учебная литература |
| Серия | |
| Издательство | Учебная литература |
| Год выпуска | 0 |
| isbn | 9781780317526 |
First published in Great Britain in 2018
by Electric Monkey, an imprint of Egmont UK Limited
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN
First published in the USA in 2018
by Alfred A Knopf, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books,
a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York
Text copyright © 2018 Rachel Cohn & David Levithan
The moral rights of the authors have been asserted
First e-book edition 2018
ISBN 978 1 4052 8401 1
Ebook ISBN 978 1 7803 1752 6
CIP data is available from the British Library
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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To my Bubbe and my Bebe grandmas
R.C.
To Grandma Grace and Grandma Alice
D.L.
People need, demand fantasy. I try to help them do this for a little while, to help them forget work and problems and enjoy, vicariously, a folderol of fun, good music and fancy dress. I give them a little recess from the humdrum.
Liberace
Invitation
WHAT: Recess from the Humdrum! Dinner Party
WHO: Sam & Ilsa
WHEN: May 16, 8 p.m.
WHY: Last dinner party at Czarina’s Palais de Rent Control!
Sad face!
Also, Liberace’s birthday.* Sequin face!
WHERE: Sam & Ilsa’s grandma’s.** (map attached)
WEAR: Garish.***
* If you don’t know who Liberace is, we don’t know how you got invited to this party. But you can ask Mr Google if you need help.
** Don’t worry, Czarina is out of town and will leave us alone for the evening!
*** Ask yourself, WWLW: What Would Liberace Wear?
CONTENTS
7: ILSA
8: SAM
9: ILSA
10: SAM
11: ILSA
12: SAM
13: ILSA
14: SAM
15: ILSA
16: SAM
17: ILSA
18: SAM
19: ILSA
20: SAM
21: SAM & ILSA
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My brother is way too obsessed with our grandma’s sex life.
“I think Czarina has taken a lover,” Sam says, holding out his hand to me. “Spatula. Stat.” My job is to maximize the chef ’s surgical efficiency by passing him the gadgets he requests. I hand him the spatula. “That’s an egg-turner spatula. The spoon spatula, Ilsa,” he says, like it’s so obvious. “Observe!”
I look at his bowl, filled with cheese and spinach. Seems like any old spatula could work in that bowl, but if it were up to me, we’d order takeout from Zabar’s and not bother with DIY cooking at all. Sam’s an amazing cook. But all that work! No, thank you. He gets me for a half hour as sous-chef, and the rest of the meal is on him. My job is planning fabulousness, not catering it. I should have been the gay man, not my twin brother.
I hand Sam the spoon spatula. “What makes you think Czarina has taken a lover?”
“She’s gone to Paris three times in the last six weeks.”
“She’s a fashion buyer. That’s her job.”
“There’s something different about these trips. I feel it. Did you notice how . . . nice she seems when she gets back? It’s upsetting.”
“What are you really upset about? That she’s been nice, or that she took Mom and Dad and not you to Paris with her for the weekend?” I love when Czarina goes away and lets us use her apartment. Then I get to be the queen of her castle, and not have to share Sam with her.
“That’s the thing! She never takes Mom and Dad anywhere. Says they’re bourgeois bores.”
“I love ’em, but they kind of are.”
“Don’t be bitchy.”
“Don’t