Finding Her Forever Family. Traci Douglass

at the monitors—heart rate, oxygen levels, blood pressure—all normal.

      “Looks like we’re ready to meet your twins.” Carmen proceeded to palpate Aiyana’s belly to determine where she was in the process. “The babies have definitely dropped.”

      A feral growl emerged from Aiyana and with help she stood with her legs wide like a sumo wrestler, her pretty face mottled from her efforts.

      “Start pushing,” Carmen said.

      “She beat you to it,” Ned said, holding his wife’s upper arm for support.

      “I want an epidural!” Aiyana panted after the contraction subsided while Carmen crawled beneath her to place absorbent pads on the linoleum. Given the midwife’s stoic expression, she could just as well have been taking a walk in the park, not dealing with a flood.

      “We decided to try natural childbirth, uuman. Remember?” Ned moved behind Aiyana, his arms ready to slide under hers and catch her if need be. “Besides, Carmen said it’s too late.”

      “I don’t—” Aiyana moaned, her head lowered as her belly tightened.

      “That’s it. That’s it,” Ned soothed.

      “I can’t do this!”

      “You are doing it,” Carmen interjected. Aiyana gave the midwife a look of exhausted resignation. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother.”

       Mother.

      Out of the blue, the word conjured sudden images of Wendy’s own mother reduced to a shell of the woman she’d once been, her once-graceful movements devolving into grotesque twists and jerks, her ever-changing moods and behaviors. That’s why Wendy had never gotten her test results, the possibility of dying a horrible, debilitating death and leaving her family behind when they needed her most. That’s why she tried never to dwell too much on the future. That’s why Wendy coped by picking short-term goals, laser-focusing until they were accomplished. Then she moved on to the next goal and the next. Her goals for the first thirty years of life had been to get through them as far and as fast as she could, with her staunch barriers intact.

      Her goals for the next thirty, God willing, were to live like there was no tomorrow.

      Because, for her, there might not be.

      But with that one simple word all Wendy’s yearnings rushed back to the forefront, making her feel as if she’d missed out on a rhythm everyone else could hear.

      Suddenly, the world spun, and Wendy grabbed the chair beside her to steady herself. She was a seasoned trauma nurse, had seen more blood and guts than the average soldier, but this was different. Aiyana bore down. Ned supported her. Carmen waited for the emerging baby.

      Blackness invaded the edges of Wendy’s vision.

      Then a pair of strong arms wrapped around her and guided her into the chair.

      “It’s okay. You’re fine,” Tom murmured in Wendy’s ear, his voice comforting and solid. He settled her, then gently pushed her head between her knees. “Be right back.”

      He returned with a tiny little cup of water seconds later and pressed it into her hand. “Drink.”

      “She okay?” Carmen asked from across the room.

      This could not be happening. Wendy could not fall apart when her family needed her most. Everything was all right. Everything was fine. Everything seemed to be happening around her while she was an orbiting moon, alone. Always alone.

      “When was the last time you ate?” Tom placed his hands on her shoulders, kneading her tense muscles, easing her away from the brink.

      Food. Wendy thought back to their lunch at the Snaggle Tooth. It seemed like eons ago. She’d had a few bites of dessert, a small portion of nachos, that was all. She shook her head, her mind sluggish, confused. “I... I don’t know.”

      “Hang on.” He left the room again.

      Aiyana screamed through gritted teeth, the sound visceral.

      “That’s it, that’s it,” Carmen said. “You’re doing great, Mama.”

      Next thing Wendy knew Tom shoved a protein bar in her face.

      “No.” She shook her head, her stomach cramping. Those things tasted like sawdust and paste. Besides, she was feeling a little better now. Not so woozy, head clearer.

      “Just take a bite. Trust me. It’ll help. You want to be over there with them, right?”

      She met his concerned gaze. Embarrassment washed over her again. Yes, she wanted to be over there, wanted to be a part of it all. It was the closest to childbirth she’d likely ever get. “I can’t believe this is happening. I’m a nurse.”

      “It’s happened to me too,” Tom said, crouching beside her, his hand warm on her knee. “It’s different when it’s someone close to you.”

      “Really? You’ve freaked out when one of your friends gave birth?”

      “No, I freaked out when my ex-wife died, and I got custody of my daughter. Now, are we going to chitchat or are you going to eat that and get over there?” Tom asked.

      His brisk tone was the wake-up call she needed.

      The protein bar was as awful as she’d imagined, but Wendy swallowed it down. Eventually, she felt better, drank the water, then stood, her emotions and the past safely tucked away again. The room stayed in place this time as she held Aiyana’s hand, turning back to mouth to Tom, “Thank you.”

      He smiled and leaned against the doorframe.

      Aiyana doubled over again, her face turning a deeper shade of purple.

      Carmen gave a thumbs-up. “First baby’s head is crowning.”

      Ned craned over his wife’s shoulder, unable to see.

      Wendy nodded toward a large mirror on a stand in the corner. “Can we use that?”

      “Fine with me,” Carmen said. “As long as Mom agrees.”

      “Aiyana, do you want Ned to see your babies being born?” Wendy asked.

      Her sister-in-law nodded, her dark eyes glassy.

      Wendy and Tom positioned the mirror so both soon-to-be parents could watch.

      The next twenty minutes went by in a blur. A primal scream from Aiyana, the sound of something popping, then a squelching sound as Carmen held baby number one’s head and a single shoulder. Aiyana pushed again and soon the sounds of relieved laughter and a newborn baby girl’s wail mingled together into a joyful noise. The celebration was short-lived, however, as Aiyana gave a second, determined cry and bore down again. Baby number two entered the world a few minutes later, quivering and covered in muck and crying to his little heart’s content.

      Carmen handled the squalling little bodies, with the help of a delivery nurse, then placed the infants one by one directly onto Aiyana’s chest. Wendy glanced over to see Tom wipe the corners of his eyes before stepping silently from the room.

      “They’re perfect, uuman.” Ned stroked his daughter’s head. The baby wrapped four little fingers around his index finger.

      Aiyana stared at her twins, eyes wide as she kissed their heads. The boy’s mewling cries became a lusty wail as Carmen tucked a warming blanket over each baby.

      Wendy couldn’t think of a single thing to say, her heart full to bursting with so many feelings—love, yearning, sadness, relief.

      “I did it.” Aiyana stroked her son’s cheek with her finger and the baby looked up, tiny mouth puckered. Her daughter watched her too, face alert, following her mother’s voice.

      “You did,” Wendy said, smiling through her tears. She leaned in to whisper near her new niece and nephew, “Welcome