Silent Desires. Джулия Кеннер

detective and his partner, Tyler Donovan, was a good guy who looked about ready to tie the knot himself with a nurse he’d been dating steadily for months. Both men tended to be overprotective. Joan pretended to be annoyed, but in truth, their concern made her feel special. “Thanks, Jack,” she said, then grinned when his expression of surprise revealed that he’d been expecting a protest.

      “You’re welcome,” he said, and she wondered what argument for her safety and well-being he’d had to toss by the wayside.

      Once he was outside again, Ronnie moved back toward the counter. “So you’re really giving up dating?”

      “Sure. It’s no big deal,” Joan said.

      “Uh-huh.” Ronnie didn’t look convinced. Which made sense. Joan wasn’t certain she was convinced, either. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

      This time, Joan knew she wasn’t talking about her dating life, but about running the store. “Fine,” she said. “I’ve been working here four years now. I think I’m getting the hang of it.”

      Ronnie had the good grace to look a little sheepish. “Still, it’s a big responsibility. You’ve never done the books or payroll before. And it’s not like there’s a lot of room in the budget.” She frowned. “You’ve got the number for our hotels in case there’s an emergency?”

      “I’m fine. Everything’s under control.” She licked her lips, wondering if this was the best time to broach one aspect of her resolution to get serious about life. “Ronnie?” she started, jumping in. “Are you still planning on, you know, cutting back?”

      Ronnie sighed, then ran her fingers through her hair. “Yeah, unless I can find someone to take on as a partner. The problem is that bookstores make lousy investments. So potential business partners aren’t exactly knocking down my door.”

      “So, what then?” Joan asked. “Three days a week?” Ronnie was finishing up her Ph.D. and looking into teaching. Plus, she wanted to spend more time with Jack. That, coupled with the store’s lousy financial condition, had prompted her to consider cutting back the hours. A decision Joan didn’t like at all.

      “Something like that,” Ronnie said. “I’ll think about it after we get back. Don’t worry, you know I won’t cut your hours until you’ve found a job to make up the difference.”

      Joan opened her mouth to press the issue, to tell Ronnie that she didn’t want another job. That she wanted to be Ronnie’s partner. Wanted a permanent stake in the business, and was willing to work her tail off to get it. But before she could speak, two honks from the taxi echoed through the store.

      “I’m going to make us late,” Ronnie said. “Can it wait?”

      “Sure,” Joan said, trying for nonchalant. She’d just talk to Ronnie when she got back. And by then, Joan should be in a much better position to convince her boss that bringing Joan in as an owner made all the sense in the world.

      “Great.” Ronnie leaned over the counter and gave Joan a quick hug. “I know you’ll take perfect care of the place,” she said.

      Joan nodded, wished them a safe trip, and then found herself waving to an empty doorway.

      They were gone. Now she was in charge.

      It was a nice feeling, one she wanted to last beyond their four short weeks of vacation. She loved this store. Loved the musty smell of ancient books. Loved the customers who came inside, some with definite purpose, some who wandered aimlessly, drifting among the stacks until, as if by magic, they found a book that touched their soul. And she loved the variety of books that filled the shelves—literature, rare illustrated tomes, first editions of biographies and popular fiction, ancient travel guides and so much more.

      And, of course, Joan loved the erotica. Ronnie’s specialty was Victorian-era erotica, and she’d made a point of keeping the store well stocked with rare works from that period and others. During downtimes at the store, Joan would peruse the collection, reading everything from Anïs Nin to D. H. Lawrence to The Pillow Book.

      Joan had never considered herself uninformed where men were concerned, but this was new territory. The literature thrilled and inspired her, pushing her imagination to decadent limits. Unprofessional, maybe, but she couldn’t help but get turned on by the graphic prose and the raw, unrestricted emotion generated within the pages. Forbidden fruit, and she loved studying it, learning about it, and, yes, losing herself in it.

      Now Joan wandered among the stacks, the dim light from the single lamp at the front of the store causing provocative shadows to slide across the shelves in front of her as she moved toward her favorite section of the store—and her favorite book.

      When she’d come to work for Ronnie fresh out of college, Joan hadn’t been familiar with erotic literature. Oh, she knew it existed, sure. But she hadn’t known it intimately. Hadn’t known the value of a leather-bound edition, much less the depths of pleasure that the mere words on the page could impart. She shivered—a little tingle of anticipation—as her gaze scanned the shelves.

      She found the volume she was looking for, a book from the late 1800s, bound in green boards and in pristine condition. Very fine, in bookstore terminology. The book’s author was anonymous, but Joan didn’t care. She was interested in the words, not who put them there.

      And, oh, those words. Enticing and provocative, the stories could send her pulse racing as effectively as a lover’s touch.

      Licking her lips, she trailed her fingertip down the spine, delighting in the rough texture of the cloth, the slightly different feel of the title stamped in gold on the spine: The Pleasures of a Young Woman.

      It was the kind of book she wished she could afford for herself, and yet she knew that would never happen. Extremely rare, the book was believed by scholars to be a collection created by some contemporaries of Oscar Wilde. The collection supposedly chronicled the erotic adventures of Mademoiselle X as she traveled from Paris to London. The young miss must have had quite an adventure, because the book read like a personal—very personal—anthology, describing in both words and pictures her forays into every erotic situation imaginable.

      Such pleasures…

      For just a moment, Joan wondered if her resolution was foolish—if swearing off frivolous dating was simply a masochistic exercise that would do nothing more than keep her frustrated.

      No.

      With her eyes closed, she pressed the book to her chest. She wasn’t swearing off men, just foolish dating of the wrong sort of man. Her door was wide open to Mr. Right. Absolutely. And if she met a guy with Mr. Right potential, they’d just have to take it slow and steady. That might leave her frustrated, but that was a state of being Joan could take care of on her own. And with a book like this…

      Her fingers caressed the book as her mind wandered. It would be so easy. To take the book upstairs. To curl up naked under the crisp, cool sheets. And then to slowly, so slowly, open the book and drink in the pages.

      She sighed, her body heating with anticipation. She knew this book. Every word, every nuance. Knew which passages were written with a light, almost humorous, hand, and which passages spoke to her soul, enticing her to stroke her breasts, her belly, and then dip her fingers down, down, down.

      She shivered, and then, pulling herself together, firmly returned the book to its place on the shelf. It was almost dawn. She needed her rest. She did not need to lose herself in the steamy heat of erotic prose.

      Still…

      She paused, her hand hovering near the book. The store was closed on Sunday, so she could rest all day if she wanted to. Besides, she wasn’t sleepy. Just the opposite. She was wired. And the delicious prose was a distraction. Practically a necessity. After all, she’d sworn off casual sex and random dating. No little touches on the dance floor, no tickling of toes under the back booth at Xylo’s. And absolutely no doing the wild thing. Definitely torture.

      If she had the company of a warm book, though…well,