Love Affairs. Louise Allen

all been very nice.’

      Laura could feel her lips twitching into a smile and bit her lips until she could answer with a straight face. ‘That was very quick-witted of you, Alice. Well done.’ Given Lady Atterbury’s own appalling dress sense poor Tommy’s outfit was no surprise at all.

      She glanced sideways and found Avery looking at her. ‘I can’t be with her all the time,’ he remarked mildly.

      ‘Of course not. Self-defence is important. No doubt Alice has learned her quick wit from you.’

      ‘And the sharp edge of her tongue is doubtless inherited.’ His eyes were on the road again, fixed between the heads of the pair of handsome greys he was driving.

      ‘Attack is often the best form of defence,’ Laura remarked. ‘Especially for a woman. We have fewer natural weapons.’

      ‘I would beg leave to disagree,’ Avery remarked, looping his reins as he guided the pair down the lane to the church. ‘Men are constrained by honour from retaliating.’

      ‘Given their natural superiority of strength and the unfair advantages law and society give them over women there has to be a balance somewhere.’ With Alice listening Laura struggled to keep her tone light and free from the anger she felt. Honour! What a hypocrite he was.

      ‘Papa, may I have the money for the collection plate?’ Alice asked, cheerfully unaware of the battle raging over her head.

      ‘When we get down, sweetheart.’ Avery reined in and waited for the tiger to jump down before he descended and swung Alice to the ground. ‘Allow me, Lady Laura. I trust the ride did not jolt your ankle.’

      ‘Not at all.’ Laura took his arm and limped into the church. Eyes followed their path down the aisle towards a box pew whose door was held open by one of Lady Birtwell’s footmen. ‘Not that one. I will sit there, with Lady Atterbury,’ Laura said, recognising the towering confection that her ladyship considered suitable as a church bonnet.

      ‘I imagine Lady Birtwell has given instructions on who is to sit where.’ Avery continued down the aisle, her hand trapped against his side.

      ‘But we look like a family group,’ Laura hissed.

      ‘And?’ Avery let Alice go in first, then ushered Laura through. ‘That is your aim, is it not?’

      ‘But not yet,’ she hissed. Without creating a scene there was little she could do except sit down on the embroidered pew cushion. Laura leaned forward to place her prayer book on the shelf and said, ‘I would prefer to be asked first.’

      ‘You have already done the asking,’ Avery remarked. He picked up a hymn book, consulted the numbers on the board and rifled through until he found the first before placing it before Laura. ‘I am merely trying to exhibit some dignity by not screaming and thrashing about in the trap you believe you have sprung.’

      To her horror her eyes began to sting. Laura dropped to her knees on the hassock and buried her face in her hands until she got the urge to cry under control.

      The congregation came to their feet and Avery put a hand under her elbow to hoist her up. ‘Or do you propose to remain there, praying for forgiveness?’

      Laura ignored him, sat down and remained seated through the entire service. She helped Alice with her hymn book, moved her lips as though she was singing and fought her temper and her fear.

      Finally the vicar and choir processed out and the congregation gathered their possessions and began to file down the aisle towards the south door. Laura had no idea what she said to the vicar as they left, although she must have said something reasonably coherent because he smiled and shook hands and no one seemed shocked.

      Avery waited for his phaeton. ‘Gregg, take Miss Alice to Miss Blackstone, please. If she has already left, then walk Miss Alice back to the house.’

      With a sinking sense of helplessness Laura allowed herself to be helped into the seat and waved to Alice with the best imitation of cheerfulness she could manage. Avery got in, took the reins and sent the greys off at a brisk trot in the opposite direction to the house.

      ‘Where are we going?’

      ‘To hell in a hand basket, I imagine.’ Avery turned into a lane and drove on until it widened into a little meadow beside a stream. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the brook plashed cheerfully amongst its stones. An exquisite spot for a proposal, Laura thought, wondering if Avery’s sense of irony had led him to select it for that reason.

      He pulled off onto the grass, stuck the whip in its holder and tied the reins around the handle. ‘I have to give you full marks for tactics, my sweet.’ The endearment was like a slap in the face. ‘The slipper on the floor outside my door was masterly.’ She did not trouble to deny it had been deliberate, but concentrated on aligning the markers in her prayer book as though the fate of nations depended on their straightness. ‘And as for your performance in bed, why, that was positively professional. Anyone would have thought you were actually enjoying yourself.’

      The book fell to the floor of the carriage, the markers blew away in the breeze that did nothing to cool her burning cheeks. ‘I was not pretending and neither were you. You know there is something between us. You said as much back in the village after we first met. Desire.’

      ‘I am impressed by your ability to separate your emotions from your passions, then.’ Avery looked down at his hand, opened his clenched fist and began to strip off his gloves. Laura saw one had split along the seam. ‘The general wisdom is that it takes a kick in the groin or a bucket of cold water over the head to stop a man performing, but that ladies are far more sensitive. I doubt I could have lost myself in the moment quite as thoroughly if I was engaged in such a masterpiece of deceit at the same time.’

      ‘You drove me to it.’ She turned her shoulder to him. If she could just spring down from the carriage, confront him face-to-face instead of being forced to sit passively next to him. If only she had the courage to tell him she loved him. ‘If you had not forbidden me any access to Alice, I would have been content, but you had to take her from me utterly. Utterly. How could you be so cruel?’

      ‘Well, you have got what you wanted, for I doubt any respectable woman is going to accept an offer from me now, with this on top of the prejudice about Alice’s birth.’

      She had to be certain. Laura swivelled on the seat to look at him. Avery had leaned forward, rested his forearms on his long thighs and was staring at his clasped hands. ‘You...you will marry me?’

      He looked up at that and his lips curved into a smile that chilled her to the marrow. So must a master swordsman look when he was about to run through some hapless opponent. ‘But of course.’

      ‘And we will live together, with Alice? Be a family?’

      ‘Of course,’ he repeated. ‘Your powers of acting are established and you will find mine are almost as good. Alice will not be affected by any household rift. As for when we are alone, my dear, we will keep separate suites. I will come to you when I wish to get you with child, for as long as it takes, and, how shall I put this...doing only what it takes. I think I will settle for the conventional heir and a spare. You need not fear my demands will be onerous.’

      The ice congealed around her heart so she could almost hear it cracking. ‘I imagine your mistress will be glad to have so much of your company, then,’ Laura said. She could almost feel pleasure that she sounded so indifferent.

      ‘I keep my vows,’ Avery said, and now she could hear the anger beneath the even, slightly mocking tone. ‘I have no mistress now, nor will I take one. You may be sure I will be faithful, my dear.’

      ‘So you expect us both to suffer?’

      ‘Suffer?’ He shrugged. ‘Sexual release is a mechanical matter, I do not expect to experience any pain of deprivation.’

      ‘But we could have had so much more,’ Laura flung at him and took hold of his lapels, shook him, desperate to crack the mocking facade.