The Impossible Vastness Of Us. Samantha Young

Tess said sympathetically.

      I glanced at her over my shoulder. “And that’s my biggest concern?”

      “No, her biggest concern is Jay,” Kiersten insisted. “You can’t leave Jay. He’s totally in love with you.”

      I wanted to roll my eyes at the fairy tale Kiersten had obviously been weaving in her head these last few weeks. “No, he’s not.” I shook my head and looked forward. “And that’s not my biggest concern, either.”

      “Her biggest concern is leaving me,” Anna huffed.

      Actually, the answer was none of the above. The truth was my biggest concern was the dude we would be moving to Boston for. But Anna was definitely up there, too. If there was anyone in my life that I truly cared about, it was her. I had lied to her about my past, I had kept my secrets and I didn’t really tell her what was going on in my head most of the time, but I gave her more of me than I gave to anyone else. It didn’t bother her, either. Our friendship was based on the fact that she trusted me. I’m a vault. Anna knew she could tell me anything without fear that I’d gossip about it. I had seen her through her parents’ really freaking messed-up divorce and the fallout—she had sex for the first time when she was only fourteen and she was too young. It was a difficult time for her and I was there. Not judging her. Just being there.

      It meant a lot to her.

      She’d be sad if I left her.

      I’d worry about her without me.

      “I’m not going anywhere,” I told her, wishing I felt as confident as I sounded.

      “Hey, India.” A group of juniors waved as they headed into the caf.

      I threw them a smile and followed them in.

      “Remember we have our first dance committee meeting this afternoon,” I reminded the girls. “We have to start planning Winter Formal.”

      “I don’t even see the point in organizing the vote for Winter Snow Queen this year. We all know you’re going to win.” Kiersten’s voice held more than a hint of envy.

      I shrugged, but I couldn’t argue. There was more than a passing possibility that my classmates would vote to make me queen.

      If there was one thing I’d mastered more than any of my classes, it was the art of being well-liked. I wasn’t rich, I wasn’t snooty, I didn’t judge people and I had the ability to hide how different I felt from everybody else. I made an effort and I tried to be friends with people from all cliques. I was on the school newspaper. I was on the debate team. I was on the girls’ soccer team. I was the theater manager.

      I was really, really busy.

      And that was just the way I liked it. Needed it actually. Being popular wasn’t about the attention. It was about the control it gave me. It was much harder to be hurt, and much harder to lose the game, when I held all the right cards. I was the most popular girl in junior year, and if Hayley didn’t ruin everything by moving us to the east coast, I’d be ruling the school next year.

      After standing in line for food that resembled something a cat might throw up we settled down at our usual table.

      “Is someone going to fill me in on the whole Boston thing?” Siobhan asked, a gleam in her eyes.

      Siobhan was captain of the girls’ soccer team, pretty, smart and rich. As far as she was concerned I was sitting in her seat. I bet she was secretly thrilled I might be taking off for Boston.

      “Hayley met someone there. It might be serious.”

      “That sucks. Sorry,” Tess said.

      “Hey, it’s Hayley. They’ll probably break up in a week.”

      “Seriously, if you move to Boston I’m moving with you.” Anna’s expression was glum as she stared at her sandwich.

      “Eat.” I nudged her elbow.

      “You and food.” She sighed but picked up the sandwich.

      I bit into my own and stared around the cafeteria, drinking it all in. I really hoped this time next year I’d still be sitting right where I was now.

      In life’s driver’s seat.

      As if Hayley heard my inner longing, my phone buzzed in my pocket, and when I pulled it out there was a text from her.

      I need you home after school. We need to talk. xx

      The sandwich turned to dirt in my mouth but I kept eating. I chewed slowly as my chest started to feel a little tight.

      “India, you okay?”

      I swallowed hard and shoved my phone toward Anna. “I think I’m moving to Boston.”

      She paled and looked down at the text. “Shit.”

      * * *

      I stared out at the Fair Oaks High School parking lot, more aware of the fast thump of my heart in my chest than I had been during soccer practice. Practice had run a little late and I knew Hayley was probably getting antsy.

      I felt nauseous but it was time to face the music so I took out my phone and called her.

      “Where are you?” she said instead of “Hello.”

      “Soccer practice ran late and Siobhan had a dentist appointment so she couldn’t give me a ride home.”

      “Damn, I forgot you had practice. I’m on my way.”

      Lowering myself to the curb, I flicked through my phone, checking social media and answering notifications. Anna had sent me a Snapchat. It was a picture of an ice pop with the Boston Red Sox logo Photoshopped onto it. Over the picture she had scrawled a message.

      Tell Hayley to suck it! YOU’RE NOT MOVING TO BOSTON! Xoxo

      I smiled grimly and waited.

      When Hayley arrived I got into the car without a word and we drove home to the apartment in silence. Once inside, Hayley finally spoke.

      “I thought we could do takeout tonight.”

      We couldn’t afford to do take-out nights all the time. Take-out nights were reserved for birthdays and the last night of school summer vacation. Sometimes even Thanksgiving.

      Something was up. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a flight somewhere right about now?”

      She shrugged, avoiding my gaze as she wandered into the kitchen.

      I followed her, watching as she pulled take-out menus out of our kitchen drawer.

      “What do you want? Chinese, Indian, Thai, Lebanese?”

      “I want to get this ‘talk’ over with.”

      Hayley regarded me, taking in my tension and the hard look in my eyes. Finally she sighed. “This is good news, India. Truly it is.”

      “Just say it.”

      “Theo proposed. I said yes. And we don’t want to wait. We’re getting married this December.”

      My mouth dropped open. “I haven’t even met him!”

      She pinched the bridge of her nose at my shout. “And that would be a concern if you were younger. But you’re starting junior year. You’re sixteen. Before we know it, you’ll be going off to college.” She stepped toward me and grabbed my hand. I let her squeeze it. “And, sweetheart, you can go to any college you want now.”

      “How?”

      “Theo is...well, he’s wealthy. And he’s already made it perfectly clear that he wants the very best for me, and that means the very best for you.”

      “Are you trying to buy my acceptance of this whole ridiculous thing? You are aware that this isn’t normal, right?”

      Hayley dropped my hand. “Don’t be melodramatic. I just