Challenge Accepted!. Celeste Barber

      

Copyright

      HarperCollinsPublishers

      1 London Bridge Street

      London SE1 9GF

       www.harpercollins.co.uk

      First published in Australia by HarperCollinsPublishers Australia Pty Limited 2018

      First published in the UK by HarperCollinsPublishers 2018

      FIRST EDITION

      Text © Celeste Barber 2018

      Cover design by Mark Campbell © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2018

      Cover photograph © Corrie Bond, Vivien’s Creative

      A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

      Celeste Barber asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

      Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at www.harpercollins.co.uk/green

      Source ISBN: 9780008327255

      Ebook Edition © March 2020 ISBN: 9780008327262

      Version 2020-01-28

Dedication

       For JoJo, Mark and Nic.

       Come back now, please, I’ve got so much to tell you.

      YASS, CONTENTS!

      @ritaora

       The One With All the Content

       Cover

       Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Pilot

The One Where I Thought I Would Flip Inside Out

The One Where I Discovered Ritalin, My Childhood (Not So) Imaginary Friend

The One About My Dad

The One Where I Danced a Lot

The One With the Gross Man

The One About My Fake Brother, Michael

       The One Where I Was Bullied at School, I Think

       Dear Wine

       The One About Falling in Love With Comedy

       The One About Surviving Drama School

       The One With the Other Gross Man

       The One About Sparky

       The One About Thomas

       The One With #hothusband

       Dear LGBTQI Community

       The One Where My Heart Was Cut Open

       The One About My Breasts

       The One About My Mum

       The One About Jo and How I Got in Trouble at Yoga

       The One Where I Discovered Being Famous on Instagram is Like Being Rich in Monopoly

       The One Where I Went to America

       Dear Hangover

       The One When Harry Met Celeste

       The One Where I Became an #accidental(role)model

       The One About Loving Our Bodies #bopo

       The One With the Totally Authentic 100% Genuine 28-Day Guide to Being Hangry

       The One Where I Explain Why I Don’t Hate Hot People

       The One No One Cares About

       The One Where I Became an Anti-influencer

       The Last One Part 1

       The Last One Part 2

       Dear Parents

       Endnotes

       About the Publisher

Pilot

      WELL HELLO, YOU CHEEKY LITTLE SAUCEPOTS. Thank you for buying my book (or thank you for acting excited when it was given to you by your sister-in-law, who probably bought it last minute while running through the airport trying not to miss family Christmas).

      I bet you’re thinking, ‘She’s just like me!’ – except when you saw the cover and probably realised that I’ve completely got my head up my own arse. And I know for sure that my primary school tutor – let’s just call her Mrs Fleet – is thinking, ‘Oh my God, if this chick can get a book deal, then anything is possible.’ And you’re right, Mrs Fleet, anything is possible, even though you treated me like I was illiterate when we all knew I was dyslexic with ADD.

      This book is a massive deal for me, not only because the profits will help keep my grey hair under control, but because y’all have been super-kind and supportive of me and my stuff, and buying this book is a part of that. (No, you shut up; you’re getting