The Member And The Radical. John Galt

a liberal subscriber I was thereby enabled to be to public charities, by which I acquired great rule and power in them; and many a poor man’s child, and orphan likewise, have I been the means of getting well educated. Indeed, I take some blame to myself that I did not more rigidly enforce the same principle of distribution in the salaries of all the posts that I got, at different times, for my kindred and constituents.

      There is, however, no condition of life without a drawback on its satisfactions; and of this truth I had soon due experience. From time to time it had been a custom with the member for Frailtown, when he happened to be of ministerial principles, to give a bit small postie to some well-recommended inhabitant of the borough; and accordingly, some anxiety was always taken to ascertain that their new member was a man of the convenient sort. Thus it came to pass, that I had not well warmed my seat when Mr. Spicer, a shopkeeper, and a member of the corporation, called on me one morning and introduced himself; for, as I had never been at Frailtown, I was, of course, in dead ignorance of all my constituents; but when he had made himself known, I received him in a very civilised manner, and inquired in what way I could serve the borough.

      Thereupon we had a conversation concerning a canal that was to pass at some short distance from Frailtown; and Mr. Spicer shewed me a very great advantage that it would be of, could ways and means be raised, to make a cut into the town; plainly, as I could see, thinking that, if I did not do it at my own cost, I might, by a liberal contribution, be helping thereunto.

      This I thought, at the time, in my own heart, was a very barefaced hope of the corporation to entertain; for I had paid the full price of my seat. But as I had ends to serve with the borough, as well as the corporation thought it had ends to serve with me, I replied to Mr. Spicer, in a very debonair manner:

      ‘Mr. Spicer,’ quo’ I, ‘it really gives me great pleasure to hear that you, in that part of England, are in such a very thriving condition; by the by, in what county is Frailtown?’

      When he had made answer that it was in Vamptonshire, I said, ‘That I had no notion it was such a prospering district; and that surely I would do all in my power, as a Member of Parliament, to further any bill for the benefit of a community with which I was so nearly and dearly connected’: adding, ‘It was, however, with me a rule never to contribute to the improvement of any other property than my own, especially as I was at that time laying out a great sum in repairs upon my house, in addition to the improvements on my estate. But,’ continued I, ‘you are free to use my name as patronising the undertaking.’

      ‘Well,’ said he, ‘that’s, no doubt, something; but though it may not be commodious to you to advance money, I have thought – considering your great influence with the Government – that some time or another you may have it in your power to befriend an honest man.’

      ‘Nothing,’ said I, ‘would give me greater pleasure: what sort of a post are you looking to?’ I added, laughing: ‘something, no doubt, more lucrative than the gallows?’

      ‘Oh, me! I am looking for none, thank Heaven; I am content with my own business for the present; but I have a daughter married to a most deserving young man, who would be right glad to be made post-master in the village of Physickspring, which is within two miles of our town, and which gets its letters by an old man from our office.’

      ‘I should think, Mr. Spicer, such a place would not be worth the asking for.’

      ‘Nor would it,’ said he, ‘but Physickspring is growing a watering-place, and it is for futurity that he will accept it.’

      ‘But does your son-in-law live there, that he would take such a place?’

      ‘Not yet, Mr. Jobbry; but he intends to take up a shop of perfumes and nick-knackeries, jewellery, and other gaieties; and he thinks it would help to bring custom to his shop, if he could conjoin the business thereunto of post-master.’

      This seemed a very rational proposition; though I could not help laughing in my sleeve to hear that the honest man believed, in seeking to help a friend, I did not see he was really helping himself; – but we are short-sighted creatures, and such self-delusion is not uncommon.

      However, to oblige Mr. Spicer, I promised to exert my best capability to serve his friend; and as the thing was but a trifle, I soon secured it for him; although I learned with surprise that there were no less than five other applicants.

      ‘Oh, ho!’ thought I, when I heard this, ‘it cannot be such a trifling place.’ However, as little was known concerning it, I said nothing, but got the appointment for Mr. Spicer’s son-in-law. The five applications, however, stuck in my throat; and before communicating to him the appointment, I thought it was a duty incumbent to make some inquiry; and accordingly I did so, as I shall shew forth in the next chapter.

      CHAPTER EIGHT

      I found, on inquiry, that Frailtown was, a decayed place, and that Physickspring was fast flourishing in repute – that in a few years it had outnumbered Frailtown by a great deal – and that from the time the Duchess of Driveabout had made it her place of resort, the visitors were most genteel and select; insomuch, that for one letter that went to Frailtown, a score at least went to Physickspring. This assured me that the separate post-office that was to be established would beat the old one all to shivers. I likewise learned, that the post-office in Frailtown had been long kept by the widow of a former mayor, who had brought up a decent family of daughters in the church of England and the Christian religion; and that since the increase of Physickspring they were well to do in the world, being milliners. It was therefore very plain to me, that the new establishment would not only be a great drawback on them, but a total loss to old Edward Dawner, the man that distributed the letters in Physickspring.

      This, it will be seen, was a case that required prudent handling; and I resolved to weigh the whole circumstances thereof in a judicious balance. At first, my natural inclination was to advise the milliners to move their business to Physickspring, and to keep old Edward Dawner as the postman to go with the letters to Frailtown; in fact, just to reverse the practice. I heard, however, that the Misses Stiches had the whole business of Frailtown, which they would lose if they removed to Physickspring, where they had no chance of success, as a fashionable nymph of the gumflowers, from London, had forestalled the trade. Indeed, I saw that when a man obtains a share in the distributions of the good things of Government, it behoves him not to allow himself to be overly yielding to his natural tender feelings; and thus I was constrained, by a public duty, to make the best arrangement I could in the difficulties of the case; and what I did, got me great respect over all that country side. I got an inkling from the post-office concerning the value of the postmastership of Frailtown, the which I saw was very handsome in moderation. I therefore wrote to Mr. Spicer, that I had got a conditional grant of the office for his son-in-law, but which I was afraid made it so little worth, that he would not think of accepting the same – that the conditions were to the effect that one Edward Dawner was to be indemnified by an annual sum of money, whenever the postmaster’s allowance exceeded thirty pounds a-year – I had ascertained that it was well on to four times that amount; and that Mrs. Stiches was likewise to have an indemnity, and should be paid, whenever the emoluments exceeded fifty pounds a-year clear, all surplus till she had five-and-twenty pounds a-year.

      After stating these particulars to Mr. Spicer, I said to him, in my letter, that he would tell his son-in-law what I would do for him, provided that the place, with such burdens, was an object.

      As I expected, back in course of post came a letter accepting the offer, but in a cool way. The arrangement, however, was greatly applauded by the inhabitants of the borough, as well as by the gentry at Physickspring, and every one there said it consisted with reason that there should be a post-office at such a growing place; and that it shewed I was a man of reflection and observation to put such a judicious idea into the head of Government. In short, I was a very popular member; and I must say, though I say it myself, deservedly so. ‘Deal small, and serve all,’ was an ancient proverb that I gave great heed to; and the first session of my parliamentary career shews that I understood its application.

      So much anent the second administration of my influence in my first session, when I was in a manner innocent of the ways and means of dealing with patronage.