The Truth Pixie. Matt Haig

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      Also by Matt Haig

      Shadow Forest

      The Runaway Troll

      To Be A Cat

      Echo Boy

      A Boy Called Christmas

      The Girl Who Saved Christmas

      Father Christmas and Me

      First published in Great Britain in 2018

      by Canongate Books Ltd,

      14 High Street, Edinburgh EH1 1TE

      canongate.co.uk

      This digital edition first published in 2018 by Canongate Books

      Copyright © 2018, Matt Haig

      Illustrations copyright © 2018, Chris Mould

      Extract from The Truth Pixie Goes to School copyright © Matt Haig, 2019

      The moral right of the author has been asserted

      British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

      A catalogue record for this book is available on

      request from the British Library

      ISBN 978 1 78689 432 8

      eISBN 978 1 78689 433 5

      To Pearl and Lucas

      In a land two thousand miles from here,

      Is a place where snow falls all the year.

      There you find trolls and goblins and elves,

      And talking rabbits, rather pleased with themselves.

      2

      3

      Other odd creatures live there as well,

      Like this Truth Pixie, whose tale I shall tell.

      4

      Truth Pixie’s sad, as she’s not like the others,

      She’s not like her nineteen sisters or thirty-eight brothers.

      5

      She’s not like her brother Brian who dances and sings,

      She’s not like her sister Sylva with bright shiny wings.

      6

      She can’t tell stories, she can’t sing songs,

      She can’t do magic, she can’t right wrongs.

      In fact, for a pixie, she is quite peculiar,

      And the reason for that is her great-aunt Julia.

      7

      When she was young, Aunt J cast a spell,

      She said, ‘From this day on, the truth you shall tell.’

      To be the Truth Pixie, that is her curse,

      She must tell the truth, for better or worse.

      Imagine!

      8

      Wherever she is, whatever the day,

      She only has one kind of thing to say.

      Just as cats go

      The Truth Pixie can only

      Say things that are

      true.

      And cows go

      10

      It’s good to never tell a lie,

      That’s what people always say,

      But they’ve probably never met the Truth Pixie,

      On a cold Midwinter’s day.

      If she’d done something wrong, she’d have to confess,

      And if you looked scruffy she’d say,

      11

      So, the pixie stays alone in her little yellow house,

      With no friends, except for a strange brown mouse.

      The mouse is called Maarta and lives in her hair.

      Yes, that’s right. Her hair,

      look

      , the mouse is there!

      12

      The pixie looks at her empty shelves,

      ‘We must go to town to feed ourselves.’

      The Truth Pixie sighs

      As she puts on a shoe,

      13

      She’s ever so lonely,

      But what can she do?

      14

      To make good friends, it shouldn’t be hard.

      Invite them to dinner, send them a card,

      15

      Sing them a song, or have a party,

      Be super kind and dress really smartly.

      16

      Well, poor TP – she’s tried this and more,

      But now look – she’s scared to leave her own door.

      No matter the card, no matter the song,

      Something always – ALWAYS – goes wrong.

      Like the time she made dinner for an elf named Tinky,

      And said that her breath was far too stinky.

      Or when she had a party for her sister Amelie,

      And sang ‘Happy Birthday’ in front of her family.

      So her family got cross,

      And never came back.

      And where there were friends,

      There was now a big lack.

      19

      So the Truth Pixie decided

      (Along with her mouse),

      To give up on friends,

      And stay sad in her house.

      20

      ‘Truth shouldn’t hurt people,

      Truth shouldn’t surprise,

      But, oh Maarta, it does!

      I so wish I’d tell lies.

      When I go out, I hope to see

      Absolutely no one, except you and me.’

      21

      The Truth Pixie looks in the mirror

      And tells herself, ‘Don’t cry.’

      Even as she wipes