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       A Lifetime of LOVE

       How to Bring More Depth, Meaning and Intimacy into Your Relationship

       Daphne Rose Kingma

      CONARI PRESS

      Berkeley, California

      Copyright © 1995, 1998 by Daphne Rose Kingma.

      All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles or reviews. For information, contact Conari Press, 2550 Ninth Street, Suite 101, Berkeley, CA 94710-1551.

      This book was previously published under the title HEART & SOUL.

      Conari Press books are distributed by Publishers Group West.

      Cover design and illustration: Martha Newton Furman

      Interior design and composition: Jennifer Brontsema

      Art direction: Arne Beanland

      ISBN: 1-57324-112-1

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Kingma, Daphne Rose.

      [Heart & soul]

      A lifetime of love : how to bring more depth, meaning and intimacy into your relationship / Daphne Rose Kingma.

      p. cm.

      Originally published: Heart & soul. Berkeley, Calif.: Conari Press, c1995. With new introd.

      ISBN 1-57324-112-1 (pbk.)

      1. Intimacy (Psychology) 2. Interpersonal relations. I. Title.

      BF575.15K56 1998

      158.2—dc21

      97-37658

      Printed in the United States of America on recycled paper.

      10 9 8 7 6 54 3 2 1

      ………

      With much love for Mary Jane Ryan, my dear friend and editor of genius.

       ……. CONTENTS .……

       Love For All Time

       A Soulful Connection

       Creating Depth

       Appreciate the Moment

       Aspire to a Spiritual Relationship

       Rejoice Together

       Open to the Ecstatic Energy

       Stop Trying So Hard

       Cast Off Your Pride

       Discover Sex as Sacred Reunion

       Be Extravagant with Your Praise

       Accept the Glorious Compromises of Love

       Attend to the Unfolding

       Lie in the Rose Petals

       Practice Happiness to Prepare for Joy

       Play

       Honor the Anger Inside You

       Share Your Transcendent Moments

       Rest in the Radiance of Forgiveness

       Be Available to the Mystery

       Know One Another Like the Seasons

       Finding Meaning

       Live the Truth

       See Your Beloved as a Spiritual Being

       Have the Courage to Say No

       Express Your Deep Fears

       Acknowledge Your Relationship Ambivalence

       Accept What Is

       Face Your Denials

       Respect the Opposite Sex

       Be Open to Receive the Message

       Practice the Courage of Criticism

       Open Your Heart to the Life-Changing Remark

       Integrate the Divine Erotic

       Recognize the Longings of Your Spirit

       Tell Your Beloved Your Story

       Be Conscious of Your Unconscious

       Seek the Common Ground

       Hold Your Beloved in Special Awareness

       Raise the Consciousness of Your Love

       Seek Your Emotional Healing

       Allow Your Needs to Be Your Guide

       Inhabit the Paradox of Urgency and Surrender

       Face Your Difficulties Head-on

       Move to the Spiritual Level

       Protect Your Soul

       Enhancing Intimacy

       Pursue Beauty

       Learn the Language of Intimacy