Coming Apart. Daphne Rose Kingma

      

      Praise for Daphne Rose Kingma

       Praise for When You Think You're Not Enough

      “The Love Doctor has done it again! In her many books on relationships, Daphne Rose Kingma has written eloquently and wisely on love. Now she turns her attention to the relationship upon which all others are grounded—the love of self. If you're good at giving to others what you most need for yourself, please read this book. You are worth it!”

      —MJ Ryan,

      author of Attitudes of Gratitude

      “This book speaks to our hearts and souls. Daphne Rose Kingma helps readers root out beliefs and behaviors that limit love of self and others and then, with gentle wisdom, guides us onto a more positive and empowered path. Once I began reading, I couldn't put it down!”

      —Sue Patton Thoele,

      author of The Courage to Be Yourself

       Praise for The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart

      “Anyone going through a dark night of the soul needs to have this book. It will be your closest companion and your most tender angel. Daphne Rose Kingma more than speaks to your soul; she knows how to heal it.”

      —Marianne Williamson,

      author of A Return to Love

      “What if, during the worst times you can imagine, you felt a warm and steady hand on your back guiding you forward? What if it helped you remember to turn toward what can be possible instead of against yourself or away from what you are afraid of? This book is that hand. Read it and you'll live better.”

      —Dawna Markova, PhD,

      co-creator of Random Acts of Kindness

       Praise for The Future of Love

      “In this innovative book, Daphne Rose Kingma breaks down the popular myth of how love is ‘supposed’ to be by introducing us to a broad spectrum of intimate connections. She reveals how to work through the various confrontations that every relationship encounters and reach deeper levels of love and intimacy.”

      —John Gray, PhD,

      author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

      “Deeply insightful and daringly fresh, this book takes a breathtaking step away from tradition and into the possibility of saying yes to the true and grandest desire of our being: to love fully.”

      —Neale Donald Walsch,

      author of Conversations with God

      Also by Daphne Rose Kingma

       When You Think You're Not Enough: The Four Life-Changing Steps to Loving Yourself

       The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Emotional and Spiritual Handbook

       True Love: How to Make Your Relationship Sweeter, Deeper and More Passionate

       Weddings from the Heart: Contemporary and Traditional Ceremonies for an Unforgettable Wedding

       365 Days of Love

       The Future of Love: The Power of the Soul in Intimate Relationships

       A Lifetime of Love: How to Bring More Depth, Meaning and Intimacy into Your Relationship

       Finding True Love: The Four Essential Keys to Discovering the Love of Your Life

       Heart & Soul: Living the Joy, Truth & Beauty of Your Intimate Relationship

      This edition first published in 2018 by Conari Press, an imprint of

      Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

      With offices at:

      65 Parker Street, Suite 7

      Newburyport, MA 01950

       www.redwheelweiser.com

      Copyright © 2000, 2012, 2018 by Daphne Rose Kingma

      Foreword copyright © 2018 by Katherine Woodward Thomas

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages. Previously published in 2012 as Coming Apart by Conari Press, ISBN: 978-1-57324-547-0.

      ISBN: 978-1-57324-729-0

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available upon request.

      Cover design by Kathryn Sky-Peck

      Cover art by Andrew Bret Wallis/Getty Images

      Interior by Steve Amarillo / Urban Design LLC

      Typeset in ITC Berkeley Oldstyle and House Industries Neutraface

      Printed in Canada

      MAR

      10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

       www.redwheelweiser.com/newsletter

       For Nancy who believed

       For Mary Jane who insisted

       For Wink who encouraged

       and

       For Leo who proved beyond the shadow of a doubt

       It is difficult suddenly to put aside a long-standing love. It is difficult, but somehow you must do it.

      —CATULLUS

      Contents

       Foreword

       A Note to My Readers

       Introduction to the Revised Edition

       1 A Hand to Hold

       2 Why Is Breaking Up So Hard to Do?

       3 Exploding the Love Myths: Why Are We Really in Relationships?

       4 Charting the Life-Span of Love: Seven Relationships and Why They Ended

       5 The Emotional Process of Parting

       6 The Unconscious Process of Parting

       7 Binding the Wounds: How to Get Through the Ending

       8