Misadventures of a Garden State Yogi. Brian Leaf

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      ADVANCE PRAISE FOR MISADVENTURES OF A GARDEN STATE YOGI

      “This is a fantastic read! Utterly enjoyable, arrestingly honest — a great companion to anyone on the yogi’s path. With incredible insight and humor, Brian has captured the story of our generation of seekers.”

      — Rolf Gates, author of Meditations from the Mat

      “Reading Brian’s book and seeing how much he has benefited physically and mentally from his yoga practice not only makes for great reading but will inspire people to begin their own journeys. Great job, Brian!”

      — Bryan Kest, creator of Power Yoga

      “Brian Leaf’s book is hilarious, inspiring, and poignant — and often all three on the same page! I love the eight Keys to Happiness — a perfect recipe for peace and freedom!”

      — Amy Ippoliti, yoga instructor and creator of 90 Minutes to Change the World

      “I am touched by Brian’s sincere and steady desire to know what is true and to be in alignment with life.”

      — Jonathan Foust, senior teacher at and former president of the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health

      “In this delightful memoir, Brian Leaf recounts his early adventures as an overeducated, itinerant yogi. He writes in an utterly winning voice — by turns as neurotic as Woody Allen, as irreverent as Huck Finn, and as serious as Jack Kerouac. It’s a fun romp — and much, much more. Leaf wisely structures his narrative around many of the most important pillars of yoga philosophy and practice — and he metes them out in doses that are easy to swallow. Seekers of all stripes will be happy to have this book: it’s a great read and a quintessentially American doorway into the perennial philosophy of yoga.”

      — Stephen Cope, director of the Kripalu Institute for Extraordinary Living and author of Yoga and the Quest for the True Self

      “From its first hilariously humiliating image to its closing words of grace, Brian Leaf’s memoir is an unfolding miracle. Don’t be fooled. This is not for yogis only but a quest for self-knowledge that transcends its title. Leaf brings to his search piercing honesty, a willingness to share the embarrassments of being human, a survivor’s sense of humor, and an opening and loving heart. Join him in seeking happiness, health, and love with practical tips that bring personal change within reach of us all.”

      — Rebecca Pepper Sinkler, former editor of The New York Times Book Review

      “Reading this book was like a flashback to my own formative years of seeking spiritual guidance. Along with all the inspirations always come the heartbreaks and disillusionments. Brian’s writing is funny and accessible and clearly reflects his personality and life experience. Check it out!”

      — Noah Levine, author of Dharma Punx

      “This awesome book made me laugh out loud. I kept thinking, it’s high time that a man told his Eat, Pray, Love story. That said, as a woman, I too could relate to Brian’s journey. His writing is hilarious and insightful, and it brought back my own memories of the good, the bad, and the humorous along the road to awakening consciousness. Funny, real, and heartwarming.”

      — Desirée Rumbaugh, yoga teacher and creator of the Yoga to the Rescue DVD series

      “Brian Leaf is like the Bill Cosby of yoga — recounting common emotions and situations on a yogi’s path in a way that makes you laugh with acknowledgment. His story is so graphic, I felt like I was practically holding his hand! This book is a great reminder of why everyone needs a little yoga — a true dose of physical, emotional, and mental medicine.”

      — Kathryn Budig, yoga teacher and author of The Women’s Health Big Book of Yoga

      “Brian Leaf’s charming and engaging account of his yogic journey is sure to strike a chord with readers who are embarking on their own adventures toward health and self-discovery.”

      — Leslie Kaminoff, yoga teacher and author of Yoga Anatomy

      Copyright © 2012 by Brian Leaf

      All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, or other — without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

      The material in this book is intended for education and entertainment. It is not meant to take the place of diagnosis and treatment by a qualified medical practitioner or therapist. No expressed or implied guarantee as to the effects of the use of the recommendations can be given, nor liability taken.

      Some names and identifying characteristics in this book have been changed.

      Text design by Tona Pearce Myers

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Leaf, Brian.

      Misadventures of a Garden State yogi : my humble quest to heal my colitis, calm my ADD, and find the key to happiness / Brian Leaf.

      p. cm.

      Includes bibliographical references and index.

      ISBN 978-1-60868-136-5 (pbk. : alk. paper)

      1. Leaf, Brian. 2. Yoga—Health aspects. I. Title.

      RM727.Y64L43 2012

613.7'046—dc23

2012021383

      First printing, October 2012

      ISBN 978-1-60868-136-5

      Printed in the USA on 100% postconsumer-waste recycled paper

New World Library is proud to be a Gold Certified Environmentally Responsible Publisher. Publisher certification awarded by Green Press Initiative. www.greenpressinitiative.org

      10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

      To Swami Kripalu

      You have no idea how your life is gonna improve

      as a result of this. Food tastes better.

      The air seems fresher. You’ll have more energy

      and self-confidence than you ever dreamed of.

      — JERRY SEINFELD, Seinfeld, “The Shower Head,” 1996

      Contents

Preface: The Rolling Incident

BOOK ONE: TURNING ON

Chapter 1. Moooola Bannnda

Chapter 2. Six-Packs

Chapter 3. Chicken Sandwiches

Chapter 4. Belly Down