The Personals. Brian O’Connell

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Название The Personals
Автор произведения Brian O’Connell
Жанр Зарубежный юмор
Серия
Издательство Зарубежный юмор
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9780008321352



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      In order to protect privacy, some names, identifying characteristics, dialogue and details have been changed or reconstructed.

      HarperCollinsPublishers

      1 London Bridge Street

      London SE1 9GF

       www.harpercollins.co.uk

      First published by HarperCollinsPublishers 2019

      FIRST EDITION

      © Brian O’Connell 2019

      Illustrations © Micaela Alcaino 2019

      Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers 2019

      Cover images © shutterstock.com

      A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

      Brian O’Connell asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

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      Source ISBN: 9780008321345

      Ebook Edition © October 2019 ISBN: 9780008321352

      Version: 2019-09-06

       Note to Readers

      This ebook contains the following accessibility features which, if supported by your device, can be accessed via your ereader/accessibility settings:

       Change of font size and line height

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       Text to speech

       Page numbers taken from the following print edition: ISBN 9780008321345

      ‘Just for a second, I thought I lost myself,

      And I watched my body falling,

      And all the colours look brighter now.’

      Brian Carey, RIP

      Contents

      1  Cover

      2  Title Page

      3  Copyright

      4  Note to Readers

      5  Dedication

      6  Contents

      7  Introduction

      8  PART ONE: LOVE AND LOSS

      9 When East Meets West

      10  A Ringless Marriage

      11  A Dress for the (Middle) Ages

      12  A Chance Encounter of a Shocking Kind

      13  A Long Engagement

      14  Addicted to Love?

      15  A Marriage Worth Waiting For

      16  PART TWO: EQUIPPED FOR LIFE

      17  The Car That’s Bulletproof

      18  For Your Eyes Only

      19  Running Up That Hill

      20  PART THREE: PETS’ CORNER

      21  A Monkey Is for Life – Not Just for Christmas

      22  Finding Shangri-La

      23  Making It Pig in Hollywood

      24  PART FOUR: ARTICLES OF WAR

      25  Married to the Past

      26  ‘Grow Wheat – The Crop That Pays’

      27  Zen and the Art of Phone Box Maintenance

      28  Engineering a Step Back in Time

      29  The Weight of History

      30  PART FIVE: SENTIMENTAL VALUE

      31  Rekindling a One in a Million Chance

      32  Remains of a Detached Day

      33  Giving a Doll’s House a Home

      34  PART SIX: COLLECTORS

      35  ‘We Are Collectors ... and We Will Die as Collectors’

      36  Signing the Past Away

      37  PART SEVEN: LOST CAUSES?

      38  Being Frank

      39  Building a Bigger Shrine

      40  PART EIGHT: THIS MORTAL COIL

      41  Meeting a Man About a Hearse

      42  Plotting a Way Out of Grief

      43  PART NINE: SIGNS OF THE TIMES

      44  Nursing Hidden Desires

      45  Cut-Price Counselling

      46  The Homeless Hotel

      47  Making Study Pay

      48  Acknowledgements

      49  About the Publisher

      LandmarksCoverFrontmatterStart of ContentBackmatter

      List of Pagesiiiivv123