What To Keep. Mary Schramski

voice had always told me thin stories about strange ex-in-laws. She had acted as if I wasn’t related to them, as if I’d only been issued from her.

      Ron’s cell phone, in his slacks pocket, rings. Bill and I both had cell phones when we first got married. We’d call each other all the time until we couldn’t pay the bill.

      “Your pocket’s ringing,” I say, and then wonder why I said something so stupid.

      He laughs, checks the caller ID then looks at me. “Mind if I take this?”

      “No, go ahead.” It’s probably his wife, the one who doesn’t make him wear a ring, checking in, seeing if he’ll be home for dinner.

      He walks to the other side of the battered porch, clicks a button and begins talking. And I’m glad I don’t have to say anything for a few minutes.

      I push my hair back. My face is sweaty. I look out into the yard. There are no houses close, just magnolias and overgrown bushes, dirty brown with dead spring blooms. This land has to be worth something.

      “Sorry about that,” Ron says as he walks back. “Major problem with a client. I should get back to the office.”

      “Thanks for bringing me out here.” I glance around. “You said there was a car?”

      “Carport is at the back of the house. I never gave you the house keys.” He digs into his other pocket, finds a set of keys. “Buick Riviera, 1977. Eighty thousand miles. A cream puff. I came over after you called and started it. Even has air. Drove it to charge the battery. If you want to sell it, I’m sure you’ll find a buyer.”

      “I want to sell it.” I take the keys. They swing, glint, hit my palm.

      “House key’s the one with the red yarn tied in a bow. I think your uncle’s housekeeper did that.”

      I pick it out while Ron walks down the steps. He turns around. “I had my secretary arrange for a county inspection late this afternoon. Every house over a hundred years old in Guilford County has to be inspected before it’s put on the market.”

      “Do you think it’ll pass?”

      “I don’t know. They’re pretty stringent these days.”

      “I hashed out a plan on the airplane—sell the house or at least sign with a Realtor that I trust and get back to Vegas.”

      “Sounds like a workable plan. The county wants to save the historical homes, so the owner is responsible for repairs. That way when it’s sold, the buyer knows what they’re getting into. You have my card. Call if you have any questions, problems. I’ll need you to sign the probate papers when they’re finished, which should be in the next couple of days.”

      “What about your fee?” I just finished paying six hundred dollars for my latest divorce. God only knows what a probate attorney costs.

      “My billing clerk will get in touch with you when everything is assessed.”

      “Great.” I watch as he walks to his car, climbs in. He’s tall, well built and moves with confidence. I go to the front door, try again to remember standing on this porch but can’t. I slide the key in the lock, turn it the wrong way then back again. The dead bolt clunks open, and I seize the knob and open the door.

      “This wall has to be fixed.”

      “Fixed! Why? It looks fine to me,” I say.

      Clay, the Guilford County inspector, is running his finger down the bedroom wall. I’ve been following him for the past thirty minutes, hoping—no, wishing—the house passes inspection. And now, it looks like I’m not going to get what I want.

      “See this green line? Mildew. Happens all the time. Rain seeps in and mildew takes over just like that.” Clay snaps his fingers.

      I squint, barely able to see the mossy green line. “Are you sure? Maybe it’s just a stain.”

      He looks at me and grunts. “Lady, I’ve been doing this kind of work for a very long time. This is mildew.”

      Half-moon sweat stains are rising on his blue work shirt. The house is hot, stuffy. I didn’t have time to open windows, if they’ll open. And Clay has informed me of many other things. Greensville is experiencing a heat wave, the likes of which the folks here haven’t seen in fifty years. Some have dropped over from the heat. I expect Clay to be one of them any minute. He’s also told me outsiders, mostly Northerners, are coming down in droves—with this information, he gave me a sidelong look—building in the area has exploded, and more important, Magnolia Hall is a dump.

      Clay thumbs through papers on his clipboard then searches in his back pocket, finds a white handkerchief and mops his forehead.

      “If you plan on selling your house anytime soon you can forget it.”

      “Look, can’t you just sign off? The green line is barely there.” I move closer to the wall. “I swear it’s so small you—”

      “Underneath there’s trouble. Doesn’t seem like much from the outside. Can’t give you the okay until the wall’s cleaned up. You’re darned fortunate that’s all that’s wrong, the way this place has been let go.”

      Resolved, I step back. “How do you fix something like that?”

      “The way the town’s growing, it’ll take you a month of Sundays to get someone out here. Does that air conditioner work?” Clay nods to the old unit clinging to the windowsill.

      “I don’t know.” I walk over, find the On switch and push it in. Nothing. I look at Clay. His lips press together.

      “Preventative maintenance, that’s the key to these old houses.”

      “I inherited this place. That wall,” I say, “sounds like a major expense. I have less than zero money.” I don’t know why I’m telling him this, for God’s sake. What does he care?

      Clay taps the checklist. “Depends on what you consider major. Some of those new construction companies charge a lot. First thing with mildew is you gotta get to the problem. From what I can tell, it’s coming from the window.” He walks over to the window, three feet from the mildew, runs his hand over the sill. “I’m surprised the one with the air-conditioning unit isn’t leaking. Best thing to do is seal all the way around, that’ll stop more damage, then when the wall’s replaced make sure they seal it up real tight.”

      “Wall replaced?”

      “Gotta take down part of the plasterboard.” Clay taps one of the dull white-and-green magnolias that make up the wallpaper.

      “Christ! I don’t have the time or money for this.”

      “You aren’t a Southern gal, are you?”

      “No.”

      Clay looks at me like he’s about to take pity on me. “You can buy caulk at Home Depot. Probably only take half a tube.” He shakes his head. “After the drywall’s taken down, they’ll wash the wood to get rid of the mildew then put up new drywall, tape, paint or wallpaper.”

      “Right,” I say, but feel overwhelmed. “How much do you think this is gonna cost?”

      “’Bout eight hundred dollars.”

      “Oh, God!”

      A bead of sweat trickles down my forehead into my right eye, and I blink, wipe at it, know I’m smearing my mascara.

      “Plaster dust gets into everything and there’s nothing you can do about that. Make sure whoever does the job puts Visqueen up.”

      “Are you sure I can’t buy some Lysol and wipe down the wall? I’ll seal the window.”

      “No. When it’s gone this far, you can’t. It’s like the silent killer of walls.”

      “Shit. The silent killer, ha-ha.”

      “Just