Break-Up Club: A smart, funny novel about love and friendship. Lorelei Mathias

      LORELEI MATHIAS

      Break-Up Club

      A division of HarperCollinsPublishers

       www.harpercollins.co.uk

      MAZE

      HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

      1 London Bridge Street

      London SE1 9GF

       www.harpercollins.co.uk

      First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers 2016 as Reader, I Dumped Him …

      This edition published by HarperCollins Publishers 2016

      Copyright © Lorelei Mathias 2016

      Cover design by Holly Macdonald © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2016

      Cover illustrations © Shutterstock.com

      Lorelei Mathias asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

      A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library.

      This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

      Ebook Edition © May 2016 ISBN: 9780008202330

      Version: 2017-01-09

      This book is dedicated to:

      Katie and Mark

      The memory of my Dad and Evie

      And anyone, anywhere, who has ever had a break up.

      Table of Contents

       Cover

       Title Page

       Copyright

       Dedication

       Prologue

       The Rules of Break-Up Club – ‘to Our Members, We’re the First Emergency Service’.

       Part One

       1. Tunnel Vision

       2. Airbrushing

       3. Holloway

       4. Habana

       5. Unexpected Item in the Bagging Area

      

       6. Recalculating

      

       7. Break-Up and Smell the Coffee

      

       8. Don’t u… 4Get About Me

      

       Part Two

      

       9. And Then There Were Four

      

       10. The Cistern Chapel

      

       11. Love Don’t Live Here Anymore

      

       12. Status Anxiety

      

       13. Friday, I’m Not in Love

      

       14. Bang and the Pain Is Gone

      

       15. Niche Quiche

      

       16. Like Buses

      

       17. When the Night Meets the Morning Sun

      

       18. Back in the Foetal Position

      

       19. Bang on Trend

      

       20. When Harry Met Holly

      

       21. She Who Is Tired of London

      

       22. Departures

      

       23.