Bleak House. Charles Dickens

with one eye, to construct a gateway. I play upon that execrable scoundrel with a fire-engine, until the breath is nearly driven out of his body. The fellow erects a gate in the night. I chop it down and burn it in the morning. He sends his myrmidons to come over the fence, and pass and repass. I catch them in humane man traps, fire split peas at their legs, play upon them with the engine – resolve to free mankind from the insupportable burden of the existence of those lurking ruffians. He brings actions for trespass; I bring actions for trespass. He brings actions for assault and battery; I defend them, and continue to assault and batter. Ha, ha, ha!'

      To hear him say all this with unimaginable energy, one might have thought him the angriest of mankind. To see him at the very same time, looking at the bird now perched upon his thumb, and softly smoothing its feathers with his forefinger, one might have thought him the gentlest. To hear him laugh, and see the broad good nature of his face then, one might have supposed that he had not a care in the world, or a dispute, or a dislike, but that his whole existence was a summer joke.

      'No, no,' he said, 'no closing up of my paths, by any Dedlock! Though I willingly confess,' here he softened in a moment, 'that Lady Dedlock is the most accomplished lady in the world, to whom I would do any homage that a plain gentleman, and no baronet with a head seven hundred years thick, may. A man who joined his regiment at twenty, and, within a week, challenged the most imperious and presumptuous coxcomb of a commanding officer that ever drew the breath of life through a tight waist – and got broke for it– is not the man to be walked over, by all the Sir Lucifers, dead or alive, locked or unlocked. Ha, ha, ha!'

      'Nor the man to allow his junior to be walked over, either?' said my Guardian.

      'Most assuredly not!' said Mr. Boythorn, clapping him on the shoulder with an air of protection, that had something serious in it, though he laughed. 'He will stand by the low boy, always. Jarndyce, you may rely upon him! But, speaking of this trespass – with apologies to Miss Glare and Miss Summerson for the length at which I have pursued so dry a subject – is there nothing for me from your men, Kenge and Carboy?'

      'I think not, Esther?' said Mr. Jarndyce.

      'Nothing, Guardian.'

      'Much obliged!' said Mr. Boythorn. 'Had no need to ask, after even my slight experience of Miss Summerson's forethought for every one about her.' (They all encouraged me; they were determined to do it.) 'I inquired because, coming from Lincolnshire, I of course have not yet been in town, and I thought some letters might have been sent down here. I dare say they will report progress to-morrow morning.'

      I saw him so often, in the course of the evening, which passed very pleasantly, contemplate Richard and Ada with an interest and a satisfaction that made his fine face remarkably agreeable as he sat at a little distance from the piano listening to the music – and he had small occasion to tell us that he was passionately fond of music, for his face showed it – that I asked my Guardian, as we sat at the backgammon board, whether Mr. Boythorn had ever been married.

      'No,' said he. 'No.'

      'But he meant to be!' said I.

      'How did you find out that?' he returned, with a smile.

      'Why, Guardian,' I explained, not without reddening a little at hazarding what was in my thoughts, 'there is something so tender in his manner, after all, and he is so very courtly and gentle to us, and—'

      Mr. Jarndyce directed his eyes to where he was sitting, as I have just described him.

      I said no more.

      'You are right, little woman,' he answered. 'He was all but married, once. Long ago. And once.'

      'Did the lady die?'

      'No – but she died to him. That time has had its influence on all his later life. Would you suppose him to have a head and a heart full of romance yet?'

      'I think, Guardian, I might have supposed so. But it is easy to say that, when you have told me so.'

      'He has never since been what he might have been,' said Mr. Jarndyce, 'and now you see him in his age with no one near him but his servant, and his little yellow friend. – It's your throw, my dear!'

      I felt, from my Guardian's manner, that beyond this point I could not pursue the subject without changing the wind. I therefore forbore to ask any further questions. I was interested, but not curious. I thought a little while about this old love story in the night, when I was awakened by Mr. Boy-thorn's lusty snoring; and I tried to do that very difficult thing, imagine old people young again, and invested with the graces of youth. But I fell asleep before I had succeeded, and dreamed of the days when I lived in my godmother's house. I am not sufficiently acquainted with such subjects to know whether it is at all remarkable that I almost always dreamed of that period of my life.

      With the morning, there came a letter from Messrs. Kenge and Carboy to Mr. Boythorn, informing him that one of their clerks would wait upon him at noon. As it was the day of the week on which I paid the bills, and added up my books, and made all the household affairs as compact as possible, I remained at home while Mr. Jarndyce, Ada, and Richard, took advantage of a very fine day to make a little excursion. Mr. Boy thorn was to wait for Kenge and Carboy's clerk, and then was to go on foot to meet them on their return.

      Well! I was full of business, examining tradesmen's books, adding up columns, paying money, filing receipts, and I dare say making a great bustle about it, when Mr. Guppy was announced and shown in. I had had some idea that the clerk who was to be sent down, might be the young gentleman who had met me at the coach-office; and I was glad to see him, because he was associated with my present happiness.

      I scarcely knew him again, he was so uncommonly smart. He had an entirely new suit of glossy clothes on, a shining hat, lilac-kid gloves, a neckerchief of a variety of colours, a large hot-house flower in his button-hole, and a thick gold ring on his little finger. Besides which, he quite scented the dining-room with bear's-grease and other perfumery. He looked at me with an attention that quite confused me, when I begged him to take a seat until the servant should return; and as he sat there, crossing and uncrossing his legs in a corner, and I asked him if he had had a pleasant ride, and hoped that Mr. Kenge was well, I never looked at him, but I found him looking at me, in the same scrutinising and curious way.

      When the request was brought to him that he would go up-stairs to Mr. Boythorn's room, I mentioned that he would find lunch prepared for him when he came down, of which Mr. Jarndyce hoped he would partake. He said with some embarrassment, holding the handle of the door, 'Shall I have the honour of finding you here, miss?' I replied yes, I should be there; and he went out with a bow and another look.

      I thought him only awkward and shy, for he was evidently much embarrassed; and I fancied that the best thing I could do, would be to wait until I saw that he had everything he wanted, and then to leave him to himself. The lunch was soon brought, but it remained for some time on the table. The interview with Mr. Boythorn was a long one – and a stormy one too, I should think; for although his room was at some distance, I heard his loud voice every now and then like a high wind, and evidently blowing perfect broadsides of denunciation.

      At last Mr. Guppy came back, looking something the worse for the conference. 'My eye, miss,' he said in a low voice, 'he's a Tartar!'

      'Pray take some refreshment, sir,' said I.

      Mr. Guppy sat down at the table, and began nervously sharpening the carving-knife on the carving-fork; still looking at me (as I felt quite sure without looking at him), in the same unusual manner. The sharpening lasted so long, that at last I felt a kind of obligation on me to raise my eyes, in order that I might break the spell under which he seemed to labour, of not being able to leave off.

      He immediately looked at the dish, and began to carve.

      'What will you take yourself, miss? You'll take a morsel of something?'

      'No, thank you,' said I.

      'Shan't I give you a piece of anything at all, miss?' said Mr. Guppy, hurriedly drinking off a glass of wine.

      'Nothing, thank you,' said I. 'I have only waited to see that you have everything you want. Is there anything I can order for you?'

      'No, I am much obliged to you, miss, I'm sure. I've everything