The New Republic. Lionel Shriver

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       Copyright

      This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

      The Borough Press

      An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers

      1 London Bridge Street

      London SE1 9GF

       www.harpercollins.co.uk

      First published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 2012

      Copyright © Lionel Shriver 2012

      Lionel Shriver asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

      A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

      Source ISBN: 9780007459919

      Ebook Edition © June 2012 ISBN: 9780007459926

      Version: 2017-05-04

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books

       To Sarowitz, of course—

       a solo dedication being long overdue

      My experiences with journalists authorize me to record that a very large number of them are ignorant, lazy, opinionated, intellectually dishonest, and inadequately supervised … They have huge power, and many of them are extremely reckless.

      — CONRAD BLACK

       Political language … is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.

      — GEORGE ORWELL

      CONTENTS

       Title Page

Copyright

       Dedication

       Epigraph

       Map

1. Honorable Mention

2. Saddling Up

3. Long Time, No See

4. Inversion 101

5. Security Theater

6. Only Edgar

7. Edgar Meets His New Little Friends

8. Ninety-Nine Push-Ups and Cloudberry Shampoo

9. G;p[[u Mpmdrmdr

       10. The Empty Wingchair

       11. The Celery Wars

       12. Edgar Meets Baby Serious and Debuts at the Barking Rat

       13. A Brief Apprenticeship as an Ignorant Dipshit

       14. No Trace Found of Reporter in Terrorist Stronghold

       15. Any Slob Can Buy Shit

       16. A Whiff of the Old Bastard Himself

       17. Playing Hard to Get with a British Accent

       18. Couscous and Balaclava

       19. Saab Stories

       20. Edgar Earns His Savvy

       21. One Less Ugly Landmark

       22. Taken for SAPSS

       23. Impostor Syndrome

       24. Barba Is No Longer Boring

       25. Portugal Denies Immigration Overhaul Is SOB Appeasement

       26. Every Former Fat Boy’s Dream

       27. Friend of the Fucking Family

       28. Barrington Has Feelings

       29. Stealing Shit from Shitheads

       30. Supporting the Peace Process

       31. The Tooth Fairy Gives