One on One. Craig Brown

>

      Craig Brown

      One on One

      Dedication

      For Frances

      Epigraph

      Tossed upon ocean waters,

      Two wooden logs meet;

      Soon a wave will part them,

      And never again will they touch.

      Just so are we; our meetings

      Are momentary, my child.

      Another force directs us,

      So blame no fault of man.

      Ga Di Madgulkar

      We have as many personalities

       as there are people who know us.

      William James

      The earth keeps turning round and gets nowhere.

      The moment is the only thing that counts.

      Jean Cocteau

      When Arthur Miller shook my hand I could only think

       that this was the hand that had once cupped the breasts of Marilyn Monroe.

      Barry Humphries

      Contents

      Title Page

      Dedication

      Epigraph

      ONE ON ONE

      ADOLF HITLER

      JOHN SCOTT-ELLIS

      RUDYARD KIPLING

      MARK TWAIN

      HELEN KELLER

      MARTHA GRAHAM

      MADONNA

      MICHAEL JACKSON

      NANCY REAGAN

      ANDY WARHOL

      JACKIE KENNEDY

      HRH QUEEN ELIZABETH II

      THE DUKE OF WINDSOR

      ELIZABETH TAYLOR

      JAMES DEAN

      ALEC GUINNESS

      EVELYN WAUGH

      IGOR STRAVINSKY

      WALT DISNEY

      P.L. TRAVERS

      GEORGE IVANOVICH GURDJIEFF

      FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT

      MARILYN MONROE

      NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV

      GEORGE BROWN

      ELI WALLACH

      FRANK SINATRA

      DOMINICK DUNNE

      PHIL SPECTOR

      LEONARD COHEN

      JANIS JOPLIN

      PATTI SMITH

      ALLEN GINSBERG

      FRANCIS BACON

      HRH PRINCESS MARGARET

      KENNETH TYNAN

      TRUMAN CAPOTE

      PEGGY LEE

      PRESIDENT RICHARD M. NIXON

      ELVIS PRESLEY

      PAUL McCARTNEY

      NOËL COWARD

      PRINCE FELIX YOUSSOUPOFF

      GRIGORI RASPUTIN

      TSAR NICHOLAS II

      HARRY HOUDINI

      PRESIDENT THEODORE ROOSEVELT

      H.G. WELLS

      JOSEF STALIN

      MAXIM GORKY

      LEO TOLSTOY

      PYOTR IL’ICH TCHAIKOVSKY

      SERGEI RACHMANINOFF

      HARPO MARX

      GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

      BERTRAND RUSSELL

      SARAH MILES

      TERENCE STAMP

      EDWARD HEATH

      WALTER SICKERT

      WINSTON CHURCHILL

      LAURENCE OLIVIER

      J.D. SALINGER

      ERNEST HEMINGWAY

      FORD MADOX FORD

      OSCAR WILDE

      MARCEL PROUST

      JAMES JOYCE

      HAROLD NICOLSON

      CECIL BEATON

      MICK JAGGER

      TOM DRIBERG

      CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS

      GEORGE GALLOWAY

      MICHAEL BARRYMORE

      DIANA, PRINCESS OF WALES

      PRINCESS GRACE

      ALFRED HITCHCOCK

      RAYMOND CHANDLER

      HOWARD HAWKS

      HOWARD HUGHES

      CUBBY BROCCOLI

      GEORGE LAZENBY

      SIMON DEE

      MICHAEL RAMSEY

      GEOFFREY FISHER

      ROALD DAHL

      KINGSLEY AMIS

      LORD SNOWDON

      BARRY HUMPHRIES

      SALVADOR DALÍ

      SIGMUND FREUD

      GUSTAV MAHLER

      AUGUSTE RODIN

      ISADORA DUNCAN

      JEAN COCTEAU

      CHARLIE CHAPLIN

      GROUCHO MARX

      T.S. ELIOT

      QUEEN ELIZABETH THE QUEEN MOTHER

      THE DUCHESS OF WINDSOR

      Author’s Note

      Bibliography

      Acknowledgements

      Other Books by Craig Brown

      Copyright

      About the Publisher

      ADOLF HITLER

      IS KNOCKED DOWN BY

      JOHN SCOTT-ELLIS

      Briennerstrasse, Munich

       August 22nd 1931

      Earlier this year, the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei – the second largest political party in Germany – moved into