If Only Forever. Sophie Love

aware of all the things she had to do, she leapt out of bed. She had people to call! How had she forgotten to call Jayne and Amy to break the news? And what about her mom? She’d been so wrapped up in the moment, in her own joy and the celebration of her friends, it hadn’t even crossed her mind.

      She quickly showered and dressed, then ran down to the porch with her cell phone. Water from her still-wet hair dripped onto her shirt as she scrolled through her contacts. Her thumb hovered over her mom’s number and began to tremble. She just couldn’t find the courage to dial it. She knew her mom wouldn’t give her the sort of response she wanted; she’d been suspicious about Chantelle and would assume that Daniel was only marrying Emily to turn her into a mother to his kid. So she decided to test the water with Jayne. Her best friend always told it to her straight, but it never came with the same air of disappointment her mom exuded.

      She dialed Jayne’s cell and listened to the ring tone. Then the call connected.

      “Em!” Jayne cried. “You’re on speaker.”

      Emily paused. “Why am I on speaker?”

      “We’re in the conference room. Me and Ames.”

      “Hi, Emily!” Amy called brightly. “Is this about the job offer?”

      It took Emily a moment to work out what they were talking about. The candle business that Amy had started from her bedroom at college was, over a decade later, suddenly flourishing. She’d employed Jayne and had been trying so hard to get Emily into the fold. Neither could really understand why Emily would want to live in a small town rather than New York, why she’d want to run an inn instead of work in a swanky office with her two best friends, and they certainly couldn’t work out why she’d want to take on another man’s child (a man with a beard no less!) without any reassurance that he’d give her her own children one day.

      “Actually no,” Emily said. “It’s about…” She faltered, suddenly losing her resolve. Then she checked herself. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Even if her life was going in a different trajectory to her best friends’, it was still valid; her choices were still her own and they should be respected. “Daniel and I are getting married.”

      There was a moment of silence, followed by shrill screaming. Emily winced. She could imagine her friends with their perfectly manicured nails, their moisturized skin that smelled of rose and camellia, their shiny hair flailing as they jumped up and down in their seats.

      Through the noise, Emily made out Jayne shouting, “Oh my god!” and Amy shouting, “Congratulations!”

      She let out a sigh of relief. Her friends were on board. Another hurdle had been overcome.

      The incomprehensible screeching finally died down.

      “He hasn’t knocked you up, has he?” Jayne asked, as inappropriate as ever.

      “No!” Emily cried, laughing.

      “Jayne, shut up,” Amy scolded. “Tell us everything. How did he do it? What’s the ring like?”

      Emily recounted the story of the beach, of the declarations of love in the snow, of the gorgeous pearl ring. Her friends cooed at all the right moments. Emily could tell they were ecstatic for her.

      “Are you taking his name?” Jayne probed further. “Or double barreling? Mitchell Morey is a bit of a mouthful. Or would it be Morey Mitchell? Emily Jane Morey Mitchell. Hmm. I don’t know if I like it. Maybe you should stick with your own name, you know? It’s the strong, empowered, feminist thing to do, after all.”

      Emily’s mind whirled as Jayne spoke in her characteristically fast over-caffeinated way, barely pausing to give her time to answer any of the questions.

      “We’re going to be your bridesmaids, right?” Jayne finished, in her typically blunt, straight-talking way.

      “I haven’t thought about it yet,” Emily admitted. Jayne and Amy may indeed be her oldest friends, but she had made so many more since moving to Sunset Harbor; Serena, Yvonne, Suzanna, Karen, Cynthia. And what about Chantelle? It was important to Emily that she played a pivotal role in the whole thing.

      “Well, where’s the venue, then?” Jayne asked, sounding a little grumpy that Emily was even considering other people as her bridesmaids.

      “I don’t know that yet either,” Emily said.

      It suddenly hit her how enormous the task ahead of her was. There was so much to organize. So much to pay for. She suddenly felt very overwhelmed by the whole thing.

      “Do you think you’ll have a big wedding or small one?” Amy asked. Her questions were less loaded than Jayne’s but she still had an air of judgment about her. Emily wondered whether Amy was still upset about her own failed engagement to Fraser. Maybe she resented Emily for having a ring and fiancé when she herself had lost both.

      “We haven’t worked out any of the details yet,” Emily said. “It’s brand new.”

      “But you’ve been dreaming about this for years,” Amy added.

      Emily frowned. Marriage, yes. That had been something she’d wanted for a long time. But she’d never pictured the way her life would go. The love she had with Daniel was unique and unexpected. Their wedding ought to be the same. She needed to rethink everything to make it perfect for them, for this specific relationship, this life.

      “Can you at least tell us the date?” Jayne asked. “Our calendar is packed.”

      Emily stammered. “I don’t know.”

      “Just the month will do for now,” Jayne pressed.

      “I don’t know that either.”

      Jayne sighed with exasperation. “What about the year?”

      Emily grew frustrated. “I don’t know!” she cried. “I haven’t worked any of this out yet!”

      Silence fell. Emily could just imagine the scene: her friends exchanging a glance, sitting in leather office chairs at a huge glass table, the sound of her outburst emanating from the phone in between them and echoing around the vast conference room. She cringed with embarrassment.

      Jayne broke the silence. “Well, just make sure it doesn’t turn into one of those engagements that goes on forever,” she said in a matter-of-fact way. “You know what some men are like; it’s like they didn’t realize that once they proposed you’d be expecting an actual wedding. They do the whole overblown engagement thing and then once they’ve lured you in with a fancy ring they think they can rest on their laurels and never actually sign on the dotted line.”

      “It’s not like that,” Emily said tersely.

      “Sure,” Jayne said flippantly. “But to be certain, you should tie him down to an actual date. If it looks like he’s going to drag the engagement out, run.”

      Emily squeezed her hand into a fist. She knew she shouldn’t let Jayne – a commitment-phobe who’d never even had a proper long-term relationship – dictate the way she ought to feel about the situation, but her friend had a talent for putting doubt into her mind. As ridiculous as they were, Emily could already tell she was going to ruminate on Jayne’s words for days to come.

      “I have an idea,” Amy broke in, playing the diplomat. “Why don’t we come up to toast you? Have a visit? Help you plan a few things?”

      Despite her irritation with Jayne, Emily liked the idea of her friends coming to stay and getting involved with the wedding preparations. Once they were here, on her turf and in her domain, they’d be able to see the love she and Daniel shared with their own eyes. They’d see how happy she was and start being a little bit more supportive.

      “That would be really great actually,” Emily said.

      They found a date that worked for everyone and Emily ended the call. But thanks to Jayne, her head was swimming and the flame of excitement inside of her dulled just a little. Her feelings were compounded by the fact she still needed to make the dreaded call to her mom, which would certainly go less well. She’d