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First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2016
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Text © David Baddiel, 2016
Illustrations © Jim Field 2016
Jacket illustration © Jim Field, 2016
Jacket Design © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2016
David Baddiel and Jim Field assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of the work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
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Source ISBN: 9780008167806
Ebook Edition © 2016 ISBN: 9780008164911
Version: 2016-02-01
To the real Mrs Stokes …
Contents
Cleaning-his-Teeth-in-the-Evening: 6.49pm
Getting-Undressed-and-Putting-Pyjamas-on: 6.49pm
Read an extract from The Parent Agency
Alfie Moore had a routine. To be honest, he had a lot of routines. He had a waking-up routine, a getting-dressed routine, a cleaning-his-teeth-in-the-morning routine, a breakfast routine, a clearing-up-after-breakfast routine, a getting-his-schoolbag-ready routine, a checking-he-had-everything-before-he-left-the-house routine, a walking-to-and-from-school routine, a having-tea routine, a clearing-up-after-tea routine, a homework routine, a limited-amount-of-TV routine, a bath routine, a cleaning-his-teeth-in-the-evening routine (which, to be fair, was pretty similar to his cleaning-his-teeth-in-the-morning routine), a getting-undressed-and-putting-pyjamas-on routine and a going-to-bed routine.
Alfie was eleven and the routines had all been worked out by his dad, Stephen. Each one was precisely written out, listing all the things he had to do, and the times he had do them by, on pieces of paper pinned up on different walls of his house. For example, the waking-up and getting-dressed routines were on his bedroom wall, along with the getting-undressed-and-putting-pyjamas-on and going-to-bed routines, only on a different piece of paper (placed very neatly next to the first one).
But Alfie never needed to look at those pieces of paper because he knew all his routines by heart. Plus, he wore two watches, one on each wrist (one digital and one analogue, both given to him by his dad) to make sure he always knew the time. As a result, he was never late for school, always knew what clothes to wear, was never tired from going to bed late and always got all his homework done.
Alfie was perfectly happy. The routines made his life work very, very well; it only wasn’t