The Epistle of Forgiveness. Abu l-'Ala al-Ma'arri

كل سنة ستَّةَ آلاف دينار، وأبوك من شيوخ الدولة وهو معظَّمٌ مُكرَّم. فقال: أريد أن تُصار إلى أبوابنا الكتائبُ والمواكبُ والمقانبُ، ولا أرضى بأن يُجرَى علينا كالوِلدان والنِسوان! فأعدتُ ذلك على أبيه فقال: ما أخوفَني أن يَخضِبَ أبو القاسم هذه من هذه، وقبض على لِحيَته وهامته. وعَلِمَ أبو القاسم بذلك، فصارت بيني وبينه وَقْفَةٌ.

      I studied with Abū ʿAbd Allāh ibn Khālawayh—God have mercy on him—and I often went to see Abū l-Ḥasan al-Maghribī. When Ibn Khālawayh died I left for Baghdad and stayed with Abū ʿAlī al-Fārisī. I frequented the scholars of Baghdad, such as Abū Saʿīd al-Sīrāfī, ʿAlī ibn ʿĪsā al-Rummānī, Abū ʿAbd Allāh al-Marzubānī, and Abū Ḥafṣ al-Kattānī, the companion of Abū Bakr ibn Mujāhid. I wrote down the Traditions of the messenger of God—God bless and preserve him—and achieved the goals I had set myself, to my best efforts (one is exculpated by giving one’s best effort). Then I traveled from there to Egypt, where I met Abū l-Ḥasan al-Maghribī. He compelled me to stick to him like his shadow; I became like an equal, through the abundance of his equity, his affection, and our mutual friendship. He told me, in confidence, “I am afraid that the ambition of Abū l-Qāsim will draw him, and us with him, toward a watering place from which there is no return. If you can memorize and keep an accurate tally of even the breaths he takes, then do so and keep me informed!”

      One day Abū l-Qāsim said to me, “We do not like how we live in obscurity.” “What obscurity?” I replied, “You receive six thousand dinars each year from our lord—may God make him reign forever!—and your father is one of the leading men of the state; he is revered and honored.” He said, “I want battalions and processions and squadrons to defile at our gates! I don’t like being treated like boys and women!” I repeated these words to his father, who said, “I am really afraid that Abū l-Qāsim will dye this (he grasped his beard) blood-red with this (he touched his head)!” Abū l-Qāsim got to know this, and this brought about an estrangement between us.

      7.3

      وأنفذ إليّ القائدُ أبو عبد الله الحسين بن جوهر فشرفني بشريف خدمته، فرأيتُ الحاكم كلما قتل رئيسًا أنفذ رأسه إليه وقال: هذا عدُوّي وعدوّك يا حسين فقلت:

مَنْ يَرَ يَوْمًا يُرَ بهْ

والدهرُ لا يُغْتَرُّ بهْ

      وعلمت أنه كذا يُفعَل به. فاستأذنتُه في الحج فأذِنَ، فخرجت في سنة سبع وتسعين، وحججتُ خمسة أعوام وعدتُ إلى مصر وقد قتله، فجاءني أولادُه سرًّا يرومون الرجوع إليهم، فقلت لهم: خيرُ ما لي ولكم الهربُ، ولأبيكم ببغداد ودائعُ، خمسمائة ألف دينار، فاهربوا وأهرب. ففعلوا وفعلتُ، وبلغني قتلُهم بدمشق وأنا بطرابلس.

      General Abū ʿAbd Allāh al-Ḥusayn ibn Jawhar sent for me and honored me by employing me in his service. I saw that, whenever he had a leading person executed, al-Ḥākim would send his head to him, with the words “Ḥusayn, this is my enemy and your enemy!” I said to myself,

      He who sees something will one day be seen himself:

      One should have no illusions about Fate.120

      I knew that he would be treated in the same manner. I asked leave to go on pilgrimage, which he permitted. I left in the year ninety-seven.121 I went on pilgrimage, staying away for five years, and when I returned to Egypt he had been executed. His sons came to me in secret and wanted me to return to their service; but I said to them, “The best thing we all can do is to run away. Your father has deposited goods in Baghdad worth five thousand dinars, so run and I shall run too.” They did so, as did I. I heard that they were killed in Damascus when I was in Tripoli.122

      7.4

      فدخلتُ إلى أنطاكِيَة وخرجت منها إلى مَلَطْية وبها المايَسْطرِيَّة، خَولة بنت سعد الدولة، فأقمت عندها إلى أن وَرَدَ عليّ كتابُ أبي القاسم فسِرت إلى ميافارقين فكان يُسِرُّ حَسْوًا في ارتغاء.

      قال لي يوماَ من الأيام: ما رأيتُكَ! قلت: أَعرَضَت حاجةٌ؟ قال: لا، أردت أن ألعنك. قلت: فالعنّي غائبا! قال: لا، في وجهك أشفى! قلت: ولم؟ قال: لمخالَفَتِك إياي فيما تعلم. وقلت له ونحن على أنس بيني وبينه: لي حُرُماتٌ ثلاث: البلدية، وتربية أبيه لي، وتربيتي لإخوته. قال: هذه حُرَمٌ مُهَتَّكَةٌ: البلدية نسب بين الجدران، وتربية أبي لك مِنَّةٌ لنا عليك، وتربيتك لإخوتي بالخِلَع والدنانير.

      أردت أن أقول له: استَرَحْتَ من حيث تَعِبَ الكرام فخشيت جنون جنونه، لأنه كان جنونُه مجنونًا، وأصحُّ منه مجنونٌ، وأجنُّ منه لا يكون. وقد أُنشد:

جنونُك مجنونٌ ولستَ بواجدٍ

طبيبًا يداوي من جنونِ جنونِ

      بل جُنَّ جِنّانه، ورقص شيطانه:

به جِنَّةٌ مجنونةٌ غيرَ أَنها

إِذا حصلَتْ منه أَلَبُّ وأَعقلُ

      Then I went to Antioch and left it again for Malatya, where Mistress Khawlah,123 the daughter of Saʿd al-Dawlah resided. I stayed with her until I received a letter from Abū l-Qāsim. Then I traveled to Mayyāfāriqīn. He was “secretly drinking the milk while pretending to sip the froth.”124

      One day he said to me, “I do not want to see you ever again!” I asked, “Has something happened?” “No,” he said, “I want to curse you!” I answered, “Then curse me in my absence!” “No,” he said, “it gives me more satisfaction to do it in your face!” “Why?” I asked. He replied, “Because you act against me, as you know very well!” Since there had been such a bond of close intimacy between us, I told him that there were three reasons why I deserved respect: the fact that we came from the same place, that his father had educated me, and that